Having a baby will forever change your life.
And no matter how much one thinks they’ve prepared themself for bringing their little bundle of joy into the world, there are new obstacles in parenting to discover every day.
Particularly for Redditor and stay-at-home mother Adjust-Ad3654, who slowly began to realize that she wasn’t exactly in a parenting partnership with her husband.
But after losing her temper at her husband following a recent incident, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA Leaving my husband with the baby for 4 hours?”
The OP first filled readers in on the dynamic she shares with her husband, and the toll she realized it eventually took on her.
“Hi.”
“I’m (31 yo female) a stay-at-home-mom (sahm) and my husband works full time job.”
“To be fair his job’s very demanding and he barely finds the energy to sit at the table and eat after he gets home.”
“We have a 9 month old son and I handle most of his care obviously but my husband plays and sleeps with him at night.”
“To be frank, I’m fully exhausted and as a new mom.”
“I have to say I let myself go meaning I haven’t wore a nice outfit or gone out or had guests over for months.”
But an upcoming special occasion resulted in the OP requiring an errand, thus needing her husband to care for her son, something he was less than thrilled at the idea of.
“My sister’s wedding is coming up and we already received an invite but thing is I had to go dress shopping and get my hair done.”
“I asked my husband on his day off if he could stay with our son for just 2 hours til I get back and he seemed hesitant asking lots of “what if” questions.”
“But I promised he got this and I’d be quick.”
“He shrugged saying “fine go…but 2 hours and not a minute more!””
“I thanked him then left but he started calling every 10/15 minutes asking when I’d be back.”
“Frankly, it got annoying I decided to put my phone on silent when I got to the salon.
But when she finally did check her phone again, the OP received quite the shock.
“But after I checked my phone later I found over 20 missed calls and a text message from him saying I needed to get home fast because there was fire in the kitchen.”
“My heart sank I froze and started calling my sister.”
“She came and took me home and called the cops who notified us later that there was nothing going on in our neighborhood.”
“I was confused, especially after my husband didn’t answer my calls.”
“I rushed inside the house to find him pacing around asking why the heck I took too long to get home.”
“I asked about the kitchen fire and he nonchalantly said kitchen was fine but he wasn’t and he just had to lie to get me to get home after I ignored his calls and after leaving him with our son for 4 hours when I said 2.”
“I was flabbergasted I screamed at him about how awful what he did was but he defended himself saying I lied to him first and made him watch our son longer than agreed upon.
“But I said he should’ve sucked it up since this my first shopping and hair salon trip in 9 months.”
“But he asked why he should just suck it up when child care is more my responsibility than his?…”
“He basically blamed me for creating this issue in the first place but I said it’s his fault since he refused to pay for a babysitter and asking why he should pay for a babysitter when our son has me?”
“He was even more upset after a cop showed up and had him go to the station to deal with his false claims of a fire incident.”
“He blamed this on me too because I had my sister call the cops and escalated the situation.”
“He insisted none of this would’ve happened if I didn’t lie about how long I planned to stay out of the house and ignoring his calls.”
“His family are enraged with how I treated him on his much needed day off.”
“Started thinking maybe I started this issue.”
“AITA.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they felt the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
There was firm agreement that the OP was not at all the a**hole by yelling at her husband for lying about a fake fire.
Most Redditors were appalled by the apparent lack of involvement on the part of the OP’s husband when it came to parenting.
“I think it’s pretty obvious that you’re not the A-hole.”
“Parenting is a partnership.”
“If all he does on his days off is sit and relax that isn’t fair to you.”
“Because parenting is a 24/7 gig.”
“He not only manipulated you and gas lit you.”
“But he isn’t stepping up and playing a true role in his child’s life.”
“At this point he’s acting more like an uncle or grandparent that comes in to play with the kid.”
“Instead of parenting and raising them.”-aradol.
“NTA Super.”
“Another husband who couldn’t watch his own kid before calling the mom every 15 mins.”
“Does he really expect you to always stay home with your son and never do anything for yourself again?”
“He’s got to learn how to take care of your baby on his own.”-Disneyfreak77.
“Oh, honey you’re absolutely NTA, but your husband brings new meaning to being one.”
“He’s mad because he has to spend time with HIS CHILD?”
“Parenting is a SHARED responsibility and the fact he’s so unwilling to help so you can have time for yourself is abhorrent.”
“None of what happened is your fault in anyway, shape or form and don’t let him gaslight you into thinking it is.”
“You might want to consider getting out, though.”- soldiermom1973.
“NTA what is he even good for if he can’t care for HIS OWN child for 2 hours.”
“I am so sorry you married a literal baby.”- TheMostOfMe.
“NTA – but your husband sure is.”
“He needs to learn how to take care of his kid.”- empressith
It’s pretty amazing to think The OP’s husband was even able to complain to her about being alone with their child for four hours, when she’s home with him every day while he’s at work.
Any possible charges for filing a false report will likely be the very least of this guy’s problems.