We've all found ourselves in a sticky situation at least once in our lives.
Usually, at a highly inconvenient moment, leading to potential embarrassment.
When this happens, we do what we can to mitigate the situation, finding quick and easy solutions.
Solutions that may draw confusion, even resentment, from those around us.
Redditor Emotional-Sun2521 recently found himself in one of these undesirable situations.
Thankfully, the original poster (OP) found a fairly quick and easy way to solve this problem.
Even if his methods were met with some disapproval by those around him.
Wondering if he was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for taking off my shorts to dry them under a hand dryer?"
The OP explained how they quickly went from one awkward situation to another:
"Hello."
"I (27 M[ale]) was in a train station waiting to take an Amtrak train drinking some water."
"I somehow managed to spill the water all over my shirt and shorts."
"Not wanting to get on the train looking like I peed myself, I went into the bathroom to deal with it."
"I stretched my shirt out to get it under the hand dryer and did a good job of drying that, but the dryer was too high off the ground to help out my shorts."
"So I looked around to make sure no kids were in there (it was somewhat crowded but only adults), and slipped off my shorts to dry them more effectively under the dryer."
"I had underwear on so it's not like it was anything indecent."
"When I did so, I heard one guy around my age say 'alright then' and a couple of looks and didn't think anything of it."
"But one guy about ten or fifteen years older than me came up to me and said to cover up, and this is no place for that."
"At this point, my shorts were 95% clean, but I don't like being told what to do, so I dried them for about 15 more seconds before putting them on."
"The guy muttered 'a**hole' and walked away."
"Was I in the wrong for doing this?"
"It's a bathroom, and it's not like I was nude."
"TECHNICALLY someone outside the bathroom could've seen the hand dryers if they really tried, but imo if you're peeking into a bathroom that makes you a weirdo."
"So what's the verdict?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**Hole for drying his shorts under a hand dryer.
While some understood why the OP's actions might have caused some reactions from those nearby, they otherwise agreed that the OP did nothing wrong.
"NTA."
"If I see a man in the bathroom wearing his boxers drying his shorts off under the hand dryer, I know his day has not been great and I'm not going to judge him for it."- Dan-D-Lyon
"NTA."
"That's about the least offensive thing I've seen in a train station bathroom."- Parks102
"I'm sorry, don't guys just whip their junk out to use a urinal?"
"Why would this be offensive at all lol?"
"NTA."- ubelieveurguiltless
"NTA."
"And I agree with the other comment I saw that was saying it likely has to do with cultural expectations of men/homophobia."
"If a woman did this in the women's bathroom no one would bat an eye, and in fact some people might stand as such so that it blocks them from view from the door or something- to protect their privacy while they're dealing with the issue, not because it's offensive to others."-Altruistic_Ad_9821
"NTA."
"I'm not a man so maybe I'm wrong, but don't you all just whip it out publicly to pee in there?"
"So how is being in your underwear anymore scandalous than that?"- MasticatingSheep
"NTA."
"If the bathroom is not the proper place, where is?"
"On the platform, in line for the tickets, the coffee kiosk?"
"People really need to get over themselves."
"I doubt he was willing to buy you some new shorts, so what is the solution he was looking for?"-GrouchyTower5969
"OP, I could tell u were a man when u started, cause the girls would help another girl dry herself off in that situation."
"NTA."- McCauliflowerCaulkin
"NTA."
"This sounds like some cultural homophobia to me."
"If a woman did this in a public bathroom, no one would blink an eye."- Pkfrompa
"NTA."
"As long as your bits were covered, it's fine."
"People see more at a pool or beach."
"I guarantee those cranky old men wouldn't have an issue if it were a pretty lady standing in her underwear."- Aly_Kitty
"NTA."
"You gotta do what you gotta do, but if I walked into the bathroom and saw someone in their underwear drying their shorts I'd probably just walk out and assume you pissed your pants or were a little crazy."- flyingpiggos
"NTA."
"It's a weird look for sure and brings to mind that person may be homeless and bathing in the bathroom (which everyone wants to believe only happens in seedy places and is not something they should ever see), but there was nothing wrong with what you were doing."-TheMoon_Shadow13
"NTA."
"A bathroom is literally the place for that."- Current-Panic7419
"NTA."
"You had underwear on."
"Some people just want to be jerks."- uncommonbreeddogmom
"NTA."
"Your giblets were covered."
"You and those around you on the train would be a lot happier if you didn't walk onto the train looking like you pissed yourself."
"I have no idea why the older guy was so mad at you, it must've looked a bit odd but surely he could've inferred why you were doing it?!"
"And if he was genuinely that bothered and really didn't understand, he could've asked."
"Oh well."- UnderSeigeOverfed
"NTA."
"Stuff happens."
"People do far worse in public restrooms."- Living-Assumption272
"NTA."
"You were in a bathroom, jeez."- nofallingupward
"NTA."
"People are way too uptight these days."- panic_bread
"NTA dude sounds like a prude with a stick up his a**."- landartheconqueror
"NTA."
"This guy just has anger issues."
"And probably homophobia." - catinnameonly
"I would think you were having a really tough day and mind my own business."
"But I'm a woman and I've definitely seen women blow-drying their shirts in there, so it doesn't seem weird at all NTA."- FishingWorth3068
"NTA."
"I would do the same if really wet from the water."
"We are used to clubs/ gym: really most our life changing together be it high school Sports/gym to gyms and club as we get older."
"I would not care if I brought my child into a woman's bathroom and a woman was drying her clothes but had underwear on."
"I would probably feel sorry for her, not think the worst."
"She had bleeding, or an accident, and had to rinse and now dry her clothes."- anditurnedaround
"NTA."
"You are covered and obviously drying your pants."
"People like to get worked up over nothing."- Rainmom66
"NTA."
"You were in the bathroom, not in the middle of the station."
"You weren't exposing yourself." - tatersprout
"NTA."
"Its a weird situation and thanks to our culture anything outside of 'very normal' is instantly viewed with mockery and suspicion."
"Don't worry about it. The odds of you ever seeing those randos again aren't high."
"I had to put up with the same thing for years in college after I washed a cut on my foot in the sink."
"Why some guy had the gall to walk up to you, I genuinely don't understand."- brinlong
"NTA."
"Not inappropriate at all, you weren't exposing yourself."
"A little odd maybe?"
"I'd be too self-conscious to do it personally but I wouldn't have issue with seeing someone else do it."- birthday-caird-pish
"As long as everything was covered NTA."
"It was pretty obvious what you were doing so that guy should've just minded his own business lol."- badlilbishh
"NTA."
"Just wait until he spots the urinals!"- lunchbox3
"NTA."
"You were in a bathroom, you had underwear on."
"If they were tighties, this is similar to the amount of 'nakedness' that a man has when wearing a speedo in a public place of swimming."
"If you had boxers on, those are similar to shorts, and your peen was covered either way."
"People really need to stop bathroom policing people who are in there doing bathroom stuff."
"I'm a woman and if I had a similar issue, you can bet I would do the same thing."
"I don't think most women would react at all, maybe some older, more prude women would, but the majority would not."
"Also, I asked my husband if what you did would bother him, and he said absolutely not."
'I don't think you were being self-serving by taking care of your own comfort because you were about to get on a train."
"You were also taking care of other passengers' comfort by not giving them reason to think you had peed yourself."
"Bathroom hand dryers to the rescue!"- Practical_Sale8133
It's not exactly a common occurrence to see someone in their underwear in a train station bathroom.
That being said, those who gave the OP a hard time might want to consider what they would have done if the tables had been turned.
Try as they might to deny it, one suspects they would have likely considered the same option.
Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Worried People Would Think She Was Trans For Using Stand-To-Pee Device
Content Warning: Transphobia, Transphobic Comments
There are countless different reasons that a relationship might end, and a red flag could arise at any time. Some of these might have been learned in childhood and could improve over time.
Transphobia is absolutely a red flag that should be acted on immediately; however, with no option to fly again, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor funnelfuss was in the car with her boyfriend when they got stuck in a traffic jam.
She really needed to use the restroom, so since she had a device with her to make the process easier, she decided she'd step out of the car.
But when her boyfriend panicked and thought people might mistake her for a man, the Original Poster (OP) realized that her boyfriend was not who she thought he was.
She asked the sub:
The OP had to use the restroom while stuck in a traffic jam.
"My (26 Female) boyfriend (25 Male) and I got stuck in an insane traffic jam. My boyfriend was driving."
"We were at a standstill. Found out later on, they had closed the highway."
"I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee, and I decided to do the same."
"It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover."
The OP's boyfriend became uncomfortable when he realized she had a pee-to-stand device.
"I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it, my boyfriend got all weird."
"He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was Trans."
"I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn't care. I have no beef with Trans people!"
"He said I should squat, just to put his mind at ease."
"I said I didn't want to get my butt and c**ch out on the highway in front of everyone, or get pee on my shoes, and I just wanted to be quick and clean."
"He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans and that I should squat, like GIRLS do."
The OP decided she was over it.
"I was dying by this point. I couldn't hold it anymore, and I really didn't want to show the world my butt, so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic."
"No one could see anything; it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking, they would be confused? But also, who's LOOKING?!"
"When I got back to the car, my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency, and I don't get what his problem was."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that there was nothing wrong with using the restroom how she wanted.
"OP, don't think for one more second about this. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous."
"As if you will ever see any of those people again! Plus, holding it in for too long can cause a whole host of issues."
"It's actually genius that you have something like that in your car, just in case. I'm going to order one too now! NTA." - m_alice88
"'Honey, please show all these strangers your c**ch and a** so they know I'm not gay, mmmm'kay?'"
"A weak man, a very weak man." - lefteyedcrow
"You must have a she-wee! Those are so great for women."
"Tell your boyfriend to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand that squatting can suck and leave you exposed."
"If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical."
"NTA." - Oktodayithink
"NTA, OP. You just needed a makeshift restroom."
"Your boyfriend apparently thought that it was normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee to evaluate who they are, who they're with, and what the status of their relationship is."
"You know, to pass the time while in gridlock traffic." - Pixichixi
"You did nothing wrong, OP! When you have to go, you have to go. It's healthier to go."
"And don't apologize! We're so wired to reduce conflict, even to the point of downplaying how we feel to keep the peace or end the silence. Don't do it."
"It's a him issue. He thinks his feelings on this are more important than your discomfort about showing your naked body on the side of the road. If he can't figure that out for himself and apologize, it would be a dealbreaker for me." - lelawes
Others agreed and pointed out that the ex-boyfriend was very transphobic.
"NTA. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are Trans?"
"'He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans.' And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful." - GreekAmericanDom
"He may not consider himself transphobic ('I don't hate Trans people! I just don't want to be associated with them or have anyone think I'm with a Trans person!'), but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia."
"Why would he care, unless a) Trans women are not women in his eyes, or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a Trans woman."
"Also, you're in a traffic jam. Who the f**k is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matters enough to give two s**ts about what they think."
"Not to mention, he's being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he's never going to interact with a single person he's worrying about." - maladicta228
"This post reminds me of the time I got dressed to go to a function. It was a casual gathering. My kid (this was solidly on their father, my ex, as he's gotten insanely bigoted as he's aged) said, 'Mom, you're dressed like a Lesbian.'"
"Me: 'Lesbians have great fashion sense, I'd love to be mistaken for one.'"
"They paused for a second and realized that I truly wasn't dressing for men (despite it being my husband's work function), and that being seen as a lesbian was a good thing. I'm so glad I raised them to think for themselves, and realize that one can be wrong, admit it, and work on being a better person every day. They've never said anything like that since." - baconbitsy
"He's so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health."
"He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health."
"You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA." - molotovmerkin
"Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a Trans woman because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger, in a neighboring car, whom he will never speak to or see ever again, thinking he MIGHT be SHARING A CAR (because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating) with a Trans woman."
"You're NTA, but get a better boyfriend." - HighCsummer
"Literally, you have to be super transphobic to think people in traffic are gonna judge you if your girlfriend is standing to pee. Like come onnnnnn, this is some insane insecurity." - Responsible-Pickle-2
Some pointed out that not only was the ex-boyfriend transphobic, but also controlling.
"This won't be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego."
"And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as 'feelings' is also problematic." - blancamystiere
"He's insecure and transphobic. He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort."
"NTA, and honestly, you can do better than this specimen." - PetersMapProject
"NTA. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see your a** and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain."
"Get a better boyfriend." - Amaze-balls-trippen
"The transphobia? The insecurity? And the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way?"
"So many red flags!" - CarolynDesign
"He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort and safety."
"He would rather you invite unwanted attention and risk by exposing your private parts to the world than have people think he (who most of the onlookers couldn't even see) might be dating a Trans person."
"NTA. OP, he's too insecure, self-centered, and immature to be a good partner to you, given that he's willing to compromise your safety to avoid a single twinge of discomfort. Dump him." - Hari_om_tat_sat
After receiving feedback, the OP was reassured and shared some positive updates.
"UPDATE: Thank you, everyone, for helping me feel sane again!"
"I got quite a few questions about which device I use, and honestly, it's about what fits you best. There are a ton of options. It's what fits you. Check out pStyle, Freshette, and EllaPee."
"I tried peeing standing up in a toilet, and it worked fine. I think my aim was pretty good, but then I saw little droplets on the floor. No thanks, don't need that. Also, it's loud? Awkward."
"But for the outside, it's pretty fun! I drive a lot, that's why it was in my car. Lifesaver."
"Also, I guess in this case it brought out an ugly side of my (ex) boyfriend and clarified some stuff for me. A winner all around."
"And to all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now."
"And yes, there were other red flags."
"Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up."
There's no way to imagine just how awkward the rest of the car ride was after using the restroom and returning to the now-silent and very entitled boyfriend, still stuck in a traffic jam.
But fortunately for the OP, she learned something vital about her relationship during a moment that should have been a total non-issue.
By being concerned about this and expecting the OP to prioritize her ex's pride over her comfort, safety, and cleanliness, her ex told her everything she needed to know.