No one should commit to becoming a pet parent unless they can provide them with the love and attention they require.
Even so, not everyone is an animal person, and some people are less than delighted when people feel the need to bring their pets with them anywhere and everywhere.
This can be particularly challenging when these pets belong to their nearest and dearest.
Redditor EndoMyLifo found herself in a somewhat unfortunate position that would require her and her husband to find a new place to live.
Thankfully, the original poster (OP) found a solution fairly quickly.
The only problem was, moving to this new location would require her to give up her cat.
Something the OP was seriously taking into consideration, given her unfortunate financial state.
Wondering if it would be wrong to do this, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole Here" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"WIBTAH if I gave up my cat?"
The OP explained why she was seriously considering rehoming her cat:
"I (26 F[emale]) and my husband (27 M[ale]) are currently living in a very lucky situation."
"We are in WA state and currently pay 1100 for a 2 bed 1 bath apt that is owned by my husband's family."
"Rent keeps going up with each year (so does everything else honestly)."
'My mom (65 F) offered for my husband and I to move in with her."
"Currently, I am her bookkeeper, scheduler, I take her to appts, and help her get out of the house more."
"It would be a win-win situation however she HATES cats."
"I have a wonderful little soot ball of a cat who is pretty mild mannered."
"Hell, my dog wrecks sh8t more than she does."
"I had talked to my husband about the move and he agreed that it would be something that would really help us save money."
"We planned to move in 6-12 months."
"My mom was excited to have my dog back in her home."
"I had said 'Aww but what about Soup?'"
"And she said that she refuses to have her in her house and to give her away."
"We would be converting the garage into our living area so I was seeing if we could potentially swing her being in the garage and therefore a little detached from the house itself."
"She still said no."
"She just doesn't like to be around cats at all."
"I told her 'Okay, we won't be moving in then' and left it at that."
"We've been house hunting and the housing market is ofc a sh*t show."
"To the point that I am actually thinking about giving away my cat."
"My heart feels so heavy when I even think about it but then the other part of me is saying 'You're giving up a chance of financial freedom because of a cat' but she's my baby."
"My husband and I already agreed that we don't want kids because the financial burden of kids is too much and we also don't want to pass on our f*cked up genetics to another generation."
"We gave up on the human babies so my little four legged ones have been my family."
"I don't want to give my Soup up but it would allow for my husband to go back to college and leave his dead end job."
"I know it is her house and therefore her rules."
"So I'm stuck in this spot of do I keep my cat and continue trying to keep afloat or give up my cat and hope someone else would be able to give her all the love and care in the world."
"Would I be the a**hole if I gave up my cat for financial security?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community urged the OP not to rehome her cat.
Everyone agreed that the behavior of the OP's mother was controlling, and giving up her cat would probably only be the beginning of demands and mandates that would be laid down on the OP should she move in with her mother:
"You keep your cat."
"Your mom would be getting a great deal by your help and only giving up a small space."
"She’s also likely to have a lot more non negotiable opinions on how you live your life because she doesn’t respect your choices."- polly8020
"You would not be gaining financial freedom."
"Her control starts now, insisting you give away your cat."
"It will only get worse from there; she will hold the free housing over your head and it will always be 'her house, her rules'.”
"Be thankful just raised her own red flag."
"$1100 in any market is a bargain for a 2 bedroom."
"Ride it out until you have a down payment for a house."
"Look into first time homebuyer programs your state offers."
"Do not give away your cat."
"Do not move in with your mother."
"If you don’t, YWBTAH."- FiFi_Green
"Pets are for life imho."- No-Philosopher8042
"Giving up on love for financial gain is never good for your soul."- Unlikely_Bake_846
"Tell her to pound sand and when she want to visit tell her you are allergic to a**holes."- WelshLove
"YWBTA."
"Having a pet is a life long commitment."- No-Firefighter-7442
"Today it's the cat."
"What will it be in the future?"
"Her house....her rules."
"You would be the a**hole to give up the cat."- Big-Excitement-5090
"You are that animal's entire world."
"How willing are you to break its heart to please your mom?"- DifferentIsPossble
"You wouldn’t be giving up your financial freedom for a cat, you’d be giving up your own freedom to live in a garage and be your mom’s little errand b*tch to save some money… in theory."
"First it’s the cat that doesn’t impact her, then a curfew, then you’re draining power so you have to pay that bill, using the bathroom too late at night, etc."
"YWBTA if you gave up your cat to you and your husband."
"This is a trap, and if your mom isn’t willing to make a small concession for something important to you her intentions aren’t good, and maybe she should get an uber to her appointments."- Equal_Maintenance870
"YWBTA."
"Your family OWNS the building but keeps increasing your rent?"
"Also, the fact you live anywhere in the US with 2 bedrooms for $1100 is rare, lucky rare."
"And I guarantee if you move out you won't find it again."
"Bonus, idk where you think remodeling a garage into a livable space would possibly be less than $60,000 (without kitchen/bathroom) but I guarantee it'll have a payment higher than $1100."- bikerchickelly
The OP later returned with an update, thanking everyone who took the time to comment, which helped her make an informed decision:
"I'm so very thankful that this caught a little bit of traction early on."
"Saves me from more tears."
"We will be staying where we are for longer and we will keep our lil pets happy."
"Thank you all for your advice as it helped me feel even stronger in my resolve to keep her."
"Additionally, I am gonna be taking a back seat to helping my mom for a bit for my own peace."
She would return once again with another update, this time sharing how a discussion with her mother regarding this matter ended up going:
"I talked to my mother."
"Someone on here commented 'Anything with a heartbeat was expected to be accepted' and that hit really hard."
"Thank you."
"I told my mother exactly that."
"When the offer was made for us to move in, it was absolutely expected that my family unit was welcome."
"Unfortunately I ended up a sobbing mess but I rarely cry and my mom said that she didn't realize how much my cat meant to me."
"Additionally, i have set up boundaries."
"She's no longer allowed in my apartment."
"We can meet up or I can go over to her house."
"I'm stepping back from her care to focus on my own things."
"My husband and I will just be trying to save as much as possible to cover for if he ever ends up getting laid off."
"Thank you so so much everyone."
"I was very ashamed to ask but being able to get some harsh truths and future considerations really showed me how I had barely scratched the surface about the move in the first place."
"I have given Soup two tube snacks, lots of pets, and lots of cuddles to ask for her forgiveness."
Only the lucky haven't found themself in a position where they had to. make sacrifices they much rather wouldn't make.
However, what not everyone is able to do when they find themselves in this unfortunate situation is ask themself if these sacrifices are really worth making.
Something the OP thankfully had the opportunity to ask herself, guiding her to figure out what is best for her right now.
Which is not moving in with her mother.
