Content Warning: Mentions of Attacks, Muggings, Assaults, and Scary Pranks
When we think of the most beautiful and memorable marriage proposals in history, of course we think of the guy who hired another guy to kidnap his girlfriend so he could rescue her and propose.
Actually, pointed out the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit, that’s the exact opposite of what we’d expect from a future happy and healthy marriage.
Redditor BlissfulRush was spending time with her best friend, catching up, when two men in an unmarked van pulled up and tried to abduct her friend.
Instead of abandoning her, she defended and saved her friend, and the Original Poster (OP) was shocked when she found out the “abduction” was the beginning of a proposal, which her friend’s boyfriend accused her of ruining.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for destroying my best friend’s proposal because I believed she was being kidnapped?”
The OP was struggling after something that happened with her best friend the week before.
“This actually happened last weekend, and I’m still shaking.”
“My best friend Emily (29 Female) has been dating her boyfriend Chris (31 Male) for about four years.”
“I (28 Female) love her to death, and I’ve always supported their relationship even though Chris is eccentric. He loves surprises and stuff. Think flash mobs and scavenger hunts that no one asked for.”
The OP couldn’t stop thinking about being attacked.
“I was visiting Emily. We were walking around and catching up when this unmarked white van came up next to us. Two masked men jumped out and grabbed her. She began screaming.”
“I freaked out, so I did what any sane, frightened human being would do. I grabbed my pepper spray (legal where I am) and yelled bloody murder and went wild. I sprayed one dude in the face, kicked another in the shin, and literally pulled Emily back by the coat while yelling for 9-1-1.”
But everything wasn’t what it seemed to be.
“It turned out it was Chris and two of his buddies. They were attempting this strange ‘prank kidnapping into surprise proposal’ situation because Emily wanted a ‘proposal like in the movies.'”
“Chris was yelling and crying over the pepper spray. Emily was scared when the cops arrived. It was chaotic.”
“Now Chris is angry. He told me I ruined the most significant moment of their lives and embarrassed him in front of everyone. Emily told me she understood why I freaked out but wished I’d read the room.”
“But like, how was I going to know? It seemed real. She was crying, they had masks, and IT WAS A LITERAL VAN!”
“Everyone’s acting like I overreacted, but I genuinely thought she was being trafficked.”
“AITAH for spoiling the proposal?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP was NTA and that Chris should have included her in the plan.
“NTA. Chris is a moron. If he intended to ‘kidnap’ her to propose, he needed to make sure that whoever was with her knew!”
“If he’s stupid enough to think a friend would just stand there while random strangers try to kidnap their friend, he’s a fool. How can you ‘read the room’? You’re not psychic.” – Intrepid_Bearz
“From what I can tell, the room consisted of a white van and three masked men trying to take a woman off the street. The woman is screaming. What more is there to read? At least she tried to save her friend.”
“If he didn’t want her to do that, oh, I don’t know, maybe he could have told her what to expect so she could play along.” – Entire-Flower1259
“Good thing for Chris’s friends OP wasn’t armed with a real weapon. You don’t f**k with people’s safety.”
“And not just OP, but bystanders too. In Texas, something like 10% of people conceal carry, so depending on where this happened it could have been so much worse.” – PikelRick
“No, you don’t terrify people you love like this at all.”
“No one in their right mind is gonna see a van roll up with masked guys dragging someone off and just assume it’s a proposal. That’s not ‘romantic,’ that’s a straight-up horror movie scenario.”
“Anyone would’ve done the same. The real fail here is on Chris for not cluing in the person literally walking with her.” – TwinkleHoneyBloom
“He didn’t expect her girlfriend to kick their a**es and thought it would be extra funny to traumatize her too. He’s just embarrassed and he should be. What a dumba**.” – CeeCee
“I’ve known people who have done the ‘kidnapping’ thing before, and it’s usually much better planned than this.”
“The much better way would be to have the van pull up and have YOU in on the plan. You tell Emily, ‘You have to get in the van. Can’t tell you why,’ or something like that.”
“That gets the fun of being ‘kidnapped’ without the ‘OMG, I need to fight for my life.'” – treple13
“Chris is abusive. Anyone who thinks the way to propose is to terrify and traumatize the women he wants to marry is abusive. It wasn’t just a proposal but a test, to make sure he could get away with anything, to teach her if she put up with terrible things, she would get rewarded, to push the boundaries as far as he could and make sure she wouldn’t push back.”
“Emily is pushing back against the OP because he is punishing Emily behind the scenes for the OP’s behavior and probably trying to get her to push the OP out of her life. Emily is getting sucked in.” – Music_withRocks_In
Others agreed and argued that Emily should have been more appreciative of the OP.
“OP risked her life to save her friend, despite the situation being fake. If it were me, and I did that to save a friend, I’d end the friendship after those remarks. Read the room?? Nope she can f**k off.” – Best_Temperature_549
“If my friend saved me like that, the boyfriend is dumped, and my friend gets a damn spa weekend or a dinner at a good restaurant. No matter why it happened. She could have been taken or killed herself saving the ungratefull muppet, if this was a real situation. Read the room, my duck.” – Chance_Violinist8097
“Read the room? READ THE ROOM? Two guys snatch up your screaming friend on the street, and she’s telling you to READ THE ROOM???”
“What if someone else had called 911? What if someone else on the street saw and just started wailing on them? What if other people started going on local media about a girl getting grabbed up? This was a poorly conceived prankposal and you did what anyone else should have done.”
“NTA, your friend and her boyfriend are dumba**es.” – burner_suplex
“She wished you read the room…? You DID read the room, what is she talking about? You did NOTHING wrong and Chris was an absolute psycho for thinking that is how to propose to someone, especially if they didn’t tell whoever they were with.”
“Also, doing something like that in PUBLIC? Do you know how many cameras are monitoring streets, outside stores, etc? Also, the random people walking around? There was almost 100% that someone would have called the police.”
“If a partner tried that with me, I would have 100% told the cops it was unwanted and was kidnapping, even if they were my partner. I would never want them near me again.” – Rocket8000
“This is Emily’s (bad) version of ‘it was just a joke!'”
“Seriously, WHAT ROOM? They were on the street. Should she read the back of the unmarked windowless van? How about the terrorized faces of the other trafficked women when they get to their final destination.”
“There was no room. This is the worst take someone can have. She’s just trying to justify her id**t boyfriend misunderstanding the assignment. She wanted a proposal from a movie, like the end of a romance film, he was giving her the start of ‘Taken.'” – TangledUpPuppeteer
“Chris AND HIS FRIENDS are MORONS. WTAF came up with such a DANGEROUS, STUPID ‘PLAN’?!”
“You defended your friend. You’d be my ride or die forever if you saved me from anything like that.” – Electtrical-Act-7170
“OP is a FANTASTIC friend. One that doesn’t freeze and goes into action to protect her friend.”
“It’s obvious that the ‘kidnappers’ weren’t targeting OP. She could have sat there and done nothing while OP was taken away.”
“Instead, she jumped into action, got herself in the fight (subjecting herself to potential harm) to defend her friend.”
“I would love to have OP as a friend. Emily doesn’t deserve her.”
“‘Read the room,’ my a**. She read the room- the room said ‘YOUR BFF IS BEING KIDNAPPED BY MASKED ASSAILANTS’. Chris should be glad OP wasn’t armed with anything bigger than pepper spray.” – Babshearth
Everyone could understand a couple discussing and planning a proposal that matches both of their personalities, but if a proposal is going to involve other people, the other people need to be informed of the plan, and it needs to take place in an appropriate setting.
By not including the OP in the plan and making it public, the couple had invited a police arrest, if not a tragedy, over having a unique proposal.
Blaming the OP for protecting her friend would not change that.