Family is what we call those people who are always there for us. Especially when others turn their backs.
But, that doesn’t necessarily mean they have to be your parents or siblings. We find family along the way.
Redditor haloiscrying encountered this very issue with her parents. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for choosing my aunt over my parents?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (17F) was basically raised by my aunt (38F).”
“My parents never had the time and since my aunt works from home, they’d always drop me at hers on their way to work and pick me up at 10pm (if they did). I have my own room, my own clothes and even my own bathroom at her house.”
“They drop me there since I was 3 and until I was 14 I stayed over every day. I’d only visit my actual house on weekends basically.”
“We have a special bond.”
“She knows everything about my life and I know everything about hers. It’s probably because she was very young at the time she started taking care of me that we’ve created this friendship kind of relationship.”
“I still visit her all the time and we go out every Tuesday.”
OP’s aunt opened up about her sexuality.
“Well, among the secrets that she’s told me is that she’s a lesbian. She told me that when I was 12 and I honestly didn’t care, it wouldn’t change anything in our relationship.”
“Last week she told me that she was going to tell the whole family so on Saturday we all met at my grandma’s and she told them. Keep in mind that they are all very conservative.”
“They flipped out at her saying that she was a failure and stuff like that. I stood by her the whole time but after a while my brain just shut off until a heard my mom saying that I wasn’t going to see her anymore because she’s ‘bad influence.'”
“I told her that yes, I’d still visit her every day and that I’ve known her secret since I was 12 and that that didn’t make me gay.”
“She then told me I wouldn’t be welcome at home anymore and I said something in the lines of ‘my home is her house. You guys didn’t raise me and I’m not even sure if I can call you guys my parents.'”
OP doesn’t know if that was a bit extreme.
“I might have crossed a line there but its not like they didn’t cross several others.”
“My mom then told me that I would have to choose between them or her and, without hesitation, I chose her.”
“We were basically kicked out of the house. I drove us to my parents house, grabbed some of my stuff and then went to my now home. I had to comfort her all night.”
“I also had to adjust my schedule because her house was farther from school than my old house so I would have to take the bus.”
“I have been living with her for about a week now and it’s been amazing. My mental health couldn’t be better and I have absolutely no regrets, tho most people who hear the story think I shouldn’t have talked to my parents like that nor have chosen my aunt over them.”
“Was I the a**hole?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“Seriously…why would they pick you up at 10 pm or not at all. She was there for your family and they couldn’t be there for her for this?”
“The person who raised their daughter is just disowned like that? You’re exactly where you should be. NTA.” ~ awesome_nj
“Yaaaassssss this 1000000%”
“OP I’m so glad you’re safe and happy, and that your aunt has someone supportive like you in her life.”
“Obligatory NTA” ~ LottimusMaximus
“NTA- WHOA A LOT TO TAKE IN HERE.”
“Dude you did the right thing. Who is telling you that you should choose your parents etc, etc? If its your friends, trust me when I say, they are far more immature than you.”
“Your parents went too far. My family is conservative as am I (in most things politically) but I also am not an a**hole. Who am I to tell someone who they can like or not?”
“I know it hurts having lost your parents at this time, but you made a very mature decision, and stood up for someone who was being berated. You’re a winner in my book. Live your life happily. “
“Sounds like your parents put a damper on your spirits even before this situation. Nothing wrong with loving from a distance. I’ve done that over the last two years (I am 24).”
“My parents are bad for my mental health. I don’t think they are necessarily bad people, but toxic nonetheless. Anyway, be happy, you have a wonderful person in your life. And I’m sure your aunt feels the same.” ~ CreepyMorning6445
OP can chose her family.
“NTA. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your Aunt. You made the right choice.” ~ -Quaint-
“NTA. your family said horrible things to your aunt. they deserved to have a tiny fraction of that thrown back at them and you delivered. Good for you for sticking up for your aunt. She sounds amazing.”
“Your family isn’t always who you were born to but who you choose along the way. (even though your aunt is technically blood I still think this applies).” ~ lil_potato_boi
“NTA. People can say whatever they want, but unless they were actually IN the situation, they can’t say they’d do something different.”
“From what you have told, it sounds like your parents were not prepared to be parents if that’s how you were treated growing up. I’m glad your aunt was able to step up to the plate, even if it wasn’t the ‘normal’ kind of parental figure you got.”
“I hope she accepts who she is and learns to love herself, and not give them a second thought. Best of luck.” ~ ShakeSlow
OP stood with the person who has been there for her her whole life. And, that shows what family truly is.