A big family breakfast is always nice.
Everyone gathered around to talk and laugh.
The center point being the menu.
The menu for a gathering can make or break everything.
Especially when special requests get thrown out.
Case in point…
Redditor NoRunnyYokes wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for not taking a ‘special request’ from my wife while cooking the family breakfast?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Last weekend I (36 M[ale]) decided that I was going to make my family (wife 35 and kids 12 F[emale], 11 F, 9 M) a big breakfast spread as part of the ‘lame’ (according to our oldest daughter) family time that we decided to have that day.”
“The plan was to have breakfast together, watch a movie, have lunch, and play some games as a family before we released the kids from the clutches of the, again, ‘lame’ family time.”
“So anyway I got up early, heated up the waffle iron and the huge stovetop skillet, and went to work making waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, and hashbrowns.”
“As I was finishing and the kids had plated up my wife asked me to throw a couple of eggs overeasy on for her.”
“She’s the only one in our family who can stand runny yolks; neither I nor the kids will touch them, but she she really likes them.”
“I just told her ‘Nah; I’m finishing up already. If you really want a couple of eggs your way and want to make them yourself go for it but I’m done.'”
“She responded ‘You’re already cooking. I’m in the mood for a couple of overeasy eggs.'”
“‘Why can’t you just throw them on for me?'”
“I refused and it turned into way more a quiet, bickering argument than it should have.”
“It’s been on my mind since and on the one hand I feel bad my wife just asked me for a small favor that wouldn’t have been a big deal at all to fulfill.”
“But on the other hand I had made plenty of food already.”
“My wife likes scrambled eggs too just fine and there was plenty of food for her to eat.”
“Why did she need to go insisting on her special request?”
“It was honestly a silly, petty fight but nonetheless I’m curious who people think was in the right.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole, for the most part.
“He KNOWS his wife likes eggs that way and didn’t just make them for her, he gave her the ‘eat them my way or make them yourself.'”
“And the children see this.”
“I feel for OP’s wife… if she sticks up for herself the kids just see 2 adults bickering on top of inconsideration towards the mother/wife.” ~RawScallop
“It’s not about the eggs. It’s about consideration.”
“My guess is, OP’s wife often goes out of her way to consider her husband’s wants, and appease his requests.”
“But feels he neglects hers even when (in this instance) she directly asks for it!”
“That must feel awful!”
“She’s literally telling him, hey this thing would make me feel heard and loved, and is something I enjoy, and he’s saying ‘Nah, you know my time and energy is worth more than yours!'”
“Also, I’m guessing OP doesn’t make breakfast daily, otherwise, his wife wouldn’t make such a request.”
“Think ‘Ooh, while you’re being chef, can you wait on me for a change? That would make me feel special!'” ~ Various-Gap3986
“It’s this.”
“OP wants to be congratulated for doing something special and unique, but when he’s done being cook.”
“He can’t be f**king bothered to take 2 extra minutes to show his wife he appreciates her doing the same damned thing day in and day out.”
“Reminds me of the time a friend asked her husband to make dinner: he made a PB&J sandwich.”
“It was the only ‘meal’ he ever made.”
“They were married for 40 years. YTA, OP.” ~ IndigoHG
“It seems he’s the only one supposed to be happy on this day.”
“The kids don’t like the plan, and the wife doesn’t get a breakfast that makes her feel special.”
“OP has created a perfect storm to make him the martyr.”
“He can claim he wanted everyone to have a special day without actually having to take their wants into consideration.”
“Then gets to go have a pity party when he doesn’t get piles of praise for all his work.” ~ Clatter_Ring
“My husband is a vegetarian, and I’m not. I do most of the cooking.”
“On occasion, when I’m tired or not feeling well or super busy, he’ll throw together a lunch or dinner for me.”
“And you know what?”
“If I say I really would love some chicken soup heated up, or a salami and cheese sandwich, or a beef burger from the freezer, my husband – who dislikes touching meat and finds the smell of chicken soup actually nauseating – cheerfully heats up my soup or assembles my sandwich or throws my burger in the oven or whatever.”
“Because my husband cares about me!!”
“And will mildly inconvenience himself for 5 minutes if it means being able to make me happy with a meal I actually want to consume.”
“And my husband has a far more justifiable reason to object to preparing meat than OP does for not wanting to cook eggs.”
“But he doesn’t object, because he loves me and doesn’t mind being grossed out for a couple minutes to do something nice for me.”
“I wouldn’t ask him to do it if he really had a problem with it, obviously, but he doesn’t.”
“He also sincerely thanks me every time I cook, every single time, even if it’s a meal he doesn’t particularly love.”
“Even though I cook most of the meals as my routine chore, even though my husband does loads of housework on his own – more on the average day-to-day than me, actually.”
“Which, somehow, I kinda doubt OP does for his wife.” ~ boudicas_shield
“YTA… but more in a sad way.”
“It’s a small thing that would have meant a lot, not the end of the world but just one of those missed opportunities to give a tiny bit extra when asked.”
“If you’re honest with yourself, would she have done it for you if you asked?” ~ REDDIT
“My husband does not drink coffee at all.”
“Last night I was quietly cursing and throwing a mini hissy fit because I could not figure out how to descale my coffee maker.”
“The instructions weren’t making sense.”
“Husband heard me from the other room and asked what was wrong and after I told him, he was silent.”
“I assumed he just went back to playing on his computer because he doesn’t care about the coffee maker.”
“Five minutes later, he walked in, pushed a few buttons on the machine, and it worked!”
“He’s been watching YouTube videos in the other room to learn how to fix it.”
“I have butterflies just typing the story out.”
“It was a very small gesture, but just so sweet.”
“It in no way helped him.”
“Again, he doesn’t ever use the coffee maker.”
“He just wanted to help his frustrated, exhausted, wife.”
“OP, little things really do make the difference.”
“They send a big message.”
“That message either says ‘I love you and like to see you happy,’ or ‘I don’t care about your feelings.'”
“YTA. You owe her an apology.”
“Not only that, you just showed your kids that Mom’s feelings don’t matter.” ~ Prior_Lobster_5240
OP came back with an update…
“The top question asked if my wife and I routinely bicker this way. No, we don’t.”
“That’s why this bothered me so much.”
“Neither of us usually dig our heels in so much over something so minor, which is why I felt weird enough about this to ask strangers about it.”
“Now, having laid that, while there is some dissension the prevailing opinion is that I was wrong.”
“I accept that.”
“I let the lazy mood I was in that morning take over when I should have just made my wife happy.”
“But some people are making way too much out of this.”
“My wife and I love each other and love our children and everything is good.”
“We have a good family.”
“Stop wishing bad upon our marriage and family just because I got a little lazy one morning.”
“I just wanted to know if I was in the wrong in this one situation and apparently I was.”
“I can accept that.”
“Finally people apparently took me saying that the cooking is 75/25 in favor of my wife to mean that I do almost nothing to contribute to the family.”
“That whole 75/25 thing was a bit of an orphan statistic with no context.”
“I have a full-time job while my wife works between 10-12 hours a week at home.”
“Our division of labor is fair.”
“But I do accept that I’m the a**hole.”
“I shouldn’t have been lazy and should have just given my wife what she wanted.”
Well OP, Reddit clearly had issues with your actions.
But it sounds like you have the situation under control.
Here’s to many happy family breakfasts.