Making travel plans can be tedious and stressful.
It can be especially cumbersome when it comes to the money matters of it all.
Does everyone have their share?
Have all of the arrangements been spread out properly?
These can be haunting questions when traveling with loved ones.
Redditor throwingitawayof wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for demanding my friend pay me back for her daughter’s plane ticket today?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My friend and I planned a trip in November to Hawaii with our younger kids.”
“Initially, we asked her oldest daughter, who is 17, if she wanted to go, but she said no.”
“Fast forward to February when we decided to buy the plane tickets, we asked her daughter again, and she said she would like to go.”
“My friend asked if I could pay for half of her ticket, and I agreed since the daughter said she’d babysit for one night so we could go out alone.”
“Our trip is in 4 days, and today, her daughter said she no longer wants to go because she doesn’t want to miss school.”
“When I heard this, I asked for my half of her ticket cost back since she’s no longer going, and the reason I paid was for the night out.”
“Now my friend is upset, saying I shouldn’t expect to get anything back.”
“I explained that if she chooses not to go, that’s fine, it’s her choice, but I do expect to get back the money I paid for her trip.”
“Many people called me the AH, saying I should be more understanding.”
“Honestly, I would have been if this had been discussed earlier and if we hadn’t asked her before buying the tickets if she wanted to go.”
The OP was left to wonder:
‘So Reddit I know you’re super honest AITA in this situation?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided that OP was NOT the A**hole, so they discussed…
“NTA. 17 is not too young to understand that when you make a commitment, you stick to it (barring actual emergencies, of course, which it doesn’t sound like this is).”
“You don’t say how long you were going for, but even if it was just a weekend, a trip to Hawaii for half price with only one night’s babysitting sounds like a very reasonable deal.”
“How do ‘a lot of other people’ even know what’s happened in what should have been a private transaction between you and your friend?”
“I expect it was because your friend or her daughter told them.”
“To be honest, I’d be reconsidering the trip, and possibly the entire friendship given what appears to be bullying over your perfectly reasonable request.” ~ TeenySod
“NTA. Your friend is the AH for expecting you to be out of pocket for her own child’s indecision in going on the vacation in the first place.”
“Also, she asked you to pay for half the ticket in EXCHANGE FOR her daughter babysitting your kids for a night out.”
“Her daughter has failed to provide the exchange, and therefore ,the mother or the daughter now has to return the money.”
“Friends ain’t friends if they’re happy to rip off their mates.”
“Nu-uh-UH…” ~Miakki
“Right! This is what got me.”
“A plane ticket to Hawaii from where I am in PA is anywhere from 750-1300 bucks!”
“For one night out, you’re going to pay her 300-700 bucks?”
“Seems like OP’s friend was trying to take advantage.”
“I could understand if the 17-year-old was watching the kids significantly throughout the trip.”
“But her mother should have been the one to pay for it, and OP could just pay the night rate for babysitting when the time came.”
“The 17-year-old should be held responsible and asked to work to pay back her ticket.” ~ beena1993
“NTA. I want to know: who booked the tickets?”
“Is there any refund option?”
“How is the friend acting about the whole thing?”
“Are they being weird?” ~ Username7099
“Understanding of what?!”
“She’s not going you need your money back.”
“There’s nothing AH about it!”
“Mom is whole plus your money!”
“Why did the mom want you to pay half anyway?”
“That was pretty ballsy in the first place, and now she doesn’t want to give it back?”
“Seriously NTA.” ~ Charming-Industry-86
“What the hell is wrong with these people be more understanding!”
“First, she says no, then she says yes, and her mother asked if you could pay for half the ticket, so you agreed.”
“Then she says no, and you should get your half of the ticket back. end of story.”
“But do you really want to go on a vacation with this woman?”
‘Because if she doesn’t pay you from now until you go, there’s gonna be resentment coming from you.”
“If she’s gonna make a big deal out of it and not pay you, I would cancel the whole thing.” ~ Sheera_Power
“I don’t see why you had to pay for 1/2 her trip in the first place.”
“Surely 1/2 the cost of a plane ticket is way more than 1/2 the cost of a couple of hours of babysitting.”
“Also, there’s no reason she should need to be paid to watch a couple of kids (including her siblings) when she’s being treated to a trip to Hawaii.”
“She should have been happy to help out for one evening.”
“No offense, but she sounds like a brat, and your friend should be teaching her how to act respectfully.”
“Also she’s 17, why does she get to make these unilateral decisions?”
“It’s truly bizarre that your friend would think you should pay anything for her daughter.”
“If it was me I wouldn’t go with her at all.” ~ DrMichelle-
“NTA – if it were a medical situation or something comparable, then sure, you might be or at least your timing would not be good, but from what you’re telling it’s just a matter of her not wanting to go.”
“Scrap the Ticket from the Equation, you paid for a sitter for one night, the sitter doesn’t come and you want your money back, obviously.” ~ PandaUsedChill
“NTA. No 17 turns down a trip to Hawaii because they don’t want to miss school.”
“She’s throwing a party.”
“But you paid half the ticket so she can watch the kids one night.”
“Now that she’s not watching the kids nor going, there’s no reason why you should eat those funds.” ~ Exciting-Peanut-1526
“Wow. NTA, and don’t worry about what these ‘friends’ say.”
“If they are so eager to subsidize this irresponsible teen’s non-trip, they are free to pay!”
“It’s time for your friend’s daughter to learn that actions have consequences.”
“Her own parents should be teaching her this, and not at the expense of family and friends.”
“OP, if I were you, I’d be reconsidering the whole trip.” ~ AKlutraa
“NTA – more understanding of what?”
“Action, meet consequence.”
“You absolutely should get your money back – which, to be fair, could be from your friend or her daughter.”
“Maybe money is tight, and discussing how you could be paid back would help?” ~ PossibleGeneral9498
“What?! It’s super weird to me that you had to pay for half of the ticket to begin with.”
“I get that you were getting babysitting for a night, and I don’t know how much the ticket was, but damn, I don’t know if that was an equal deal to begin with.”
“Now you’re out that money because she changed her mind?!”
“Hell no. HELL NO.”
“No real friend would think you should pay half to begin with, let alone not pay you back.”
“If she can’t afford to pay for her daughter’s flight, she shouldn’t be going on a vacation.” ~ MarionberryOk2874
“NTA, cancel the ticket she still has the credit under her name you should get your half back… reevaluate this friendship… get the feeling the milk has turned on this one…” ~ CheezersTheCat
“NTA. You basically prepaid for a service that you are no longer getting.”
“You should get your money back.”
“There’s also something seriously wrong about your friend group.”
“Understanding why she doesn’t want to go does not mean that they owe you money.”
“Your friend group basically has terrible logic and sounds dumb as hell, to be honest.”
“I wonder what other messed up things they try to guilt each other with.”
“Drop them.”
“Get better friends.” ~ ArtisticEffective153
“NTA. But for her actions, you would never have paid for half of her ticket.”
“As the child is a minor and the ticket was bought at the request of your friend, then she’s responsible for her child being a flake because what you essentially paid for was nothing.” ~ inturnaround
“Absolutely NTA!!!”
“NTA, first your friend sucks for not returning cash that’s yours, second the thing that gets me is the daughter suddenly changed her?”
“Did she say wanted to go or did your friend just say she wanted to go?”
“I can say the daughters the Ahole without this piece of evidence.” ~ Top_Session9504
“That LACK OF REASONING doesn’t even make sense!!”
“You’re not the parent!!”
“Why should you cop half of the ticket price and just accept it? NOPE!!”
“Keep telling them they are to pay you back!”
“Although I’ve never heard of a kid choosing school over a holiday… but okay?”
“Or show them this thread!” ~ ImACarebear1986
“NTA. The deal was you’d pay part of her ticket in exchange for one night’s babysitting during the trip.”
“She won’t be able to do that since she has changed her mind, reneged on the deal, and won’t be there.”
“The girl should be paying for it herself now, or her mom should.” ~ Babziellia
OP came back with some information…
“Editing to add since I spoke with our friend group, and it shed light on why they felt the way they did.”
“I was not aware our friend was having financial issues with the trip because she never said anything to me about it.”
“More so she was hiding it because last week she had to borrow $900 for the cost of the hotel which means she not only didn’t have her portion but she spent some of my portion too since we split it and paid $650 each.”
“I sent her my half in February because I wanted my full trip to be paid for so I wouldn’t have to think about it. “
“She also came up with the plan of me paying half for her daughter because she wouldn’t have been able to afford the full cost of the flight.”
“Mind you this is a trip she asked to be a part of because I said I was taking my kid to Hawaii this year as a vacation.”
“Initially, I had no intention of traveling with anyone else, and she did not have to go, especially if it was going to put financial stress on her.”
“That being known now, it did look to them like I was ignoring that she was struggling and expecting the other half of the money.”
“I pointed out that the daughter could work off the ticket cost by letting my dog out when I’m working.”
“As for her reasoning for not wanting to go, her boyfriend’s parents are also out of town the same week, so she is planning to spend time with him alone. The school excuse is what she came up with because she thought her mom would be more sympathetic towards it.”
“Needless to say, I’ve booked my own hotel and will likely only see her during the flight, which may be awkward because we’re sitting near each other.”
“I’ve decided I’m distancing myself from her and taking this as a lesson about group trips.”
“She’s likely going to get a flight voucher for her daughter’s ticket, and I’m out for the portion that I paid for the flight.”
“I don’t expect her to make up for the hotel since this is something I’ve chosen to do myself.”
“My friend group has apologized for jumping to conclusions without knowing the facts and several have urged her to cancel her trip.”
Well, this is quite the drama, OP.
Reddit has your back, though.
It sounds like your friend may need to get her house in order.
Have a good vacation.