When it comes to naming a child, for most people it's easy, as they stick to "family names", leading the first born son to be named after the father, and the first born daughter after the mother, for generations and generations.
Some people, however, prefer to veer as far away from convention as possible.
Picking truly unorthodox and out of the box names.
Sometimes, these initially unique names find themselves becoming more and more common.
Other times, the children bequeathed this name beg to go by a nickname, or look forward to adulthood when they can legally change their name.
The sister of Redditor Odd_Age1378 and her husband simply couldn't settle on a name for their unborn daughter.
Leading the original poster (OP) sent her a list of baby names he knew she would never choose.
The joke ended up being on the OP, however, when his sister shocked him and chose one of those very names.
A decision the OP couldn't remain quiet about.
Fearing he may have been out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for blowing up at my sister for naming her daughter after a fungal infection?"
The OP explained why he couldn't stay quiet at his sister's choice of baby name:
"So my (20 M[ale]) sister (27 F[emale]) and her husband had been struggling a LOT with baby names."
"She was determined to find the single perfect name-- even by the time of her baby shower (nearly five weeks before the due date), she didn't seem any closer to picking something out than she was at the start of her pregnancy."
"Anyway, I knew she was struggling, so in addition to the $900 wooden crib on her list that I got for her, I gave her a list of (obviously) joke baby names."
"We have a really close relationship, and it was in line with both our senses of humor."
"She's a nurse, and I'm a biology student, so all the names were medications, infections, unpleasant animals, etcetera, that all sound like lovely girls' names out of context."
"Some of them were a little bit obscure, sure, but I included some obvious ones like 'Viagra' and 'Hernia' for good measure."
"Two weeks later, she told me she and her husband had finally settled on a name."
"Malassezia."
"The baby's name is Malassezia."
"One of the names on my joke list."
"Outside of the immediate issues (nearly impossible to pronounce on the first try, the 'a**' smack dab it the middle of it, the first syllable being mal-, literally meaning bad or evil), it's also the name of a very common fungal infection."
"One that my sister and I are both genetically predisposed to."
"One that we've both had multiple times throughout our lives."
"Her daughter will almost certainly catch it at some time!"
"I pointed it out to her, and she said that yes, she knew what it meant, and she knew my list was intended to be a joke, but she just really liked the way it sounded."
"I don't think the husband knows what it means- I think he'd reject it if he did."
"She says that it's so obscure that no one will ever think twice about it."
"Except, you know, when little baby Malassezia turns 14, finds a weird spot on her neck, and goes on her phone to google what it is..."
"I told her that the name was completely unacceptable, and I was shocked that she chose it."
"I even suggested some similar names, like Mallory, Azalea, or Anastasia, that would be more acceptable, but she wouldn't hear it!"
"She said that since I'm not one of the parents, I have no business telling her what she can and cannot name her child, and that I'm stepping way out of line."
"I think it's pregnancy hormones, and she'll regret the decision very soon after her daughter is born."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for scolding his sister for her choice of baby name.
Everyone agreed that the name choice by the OP's sister would ultimately be cruel and unkind to her child, even if some still weren't convinced that his sister wasn't joking.
"NTA."
"I share your frustration and you're looking out for your niece."
"While your sis is right that it's her parental right, you're not stepping out of line -- you're family and you're cautioning her."
"Reminds me of a girl in my class back in elementary school who (whom?) had a unique name."
"Spontaneous... that was her name."
"We were all fine with it until 6th grade, when that was one of the words we were taught."
"You can imagine what chaos ensued for the poor girl."
"Also... Malassezia sounds like a Disney villain."
"Question: would the hospital allow that name?"
"I know people choose 'unique' names for children, but could you really name your child Chlamydia?"
"That's not considered emotional abuse?"- gopher-tuna
"NTA."
"Just tell the husband what it means."
"He'll shut it down."- Parking_Pomelo_3856
"NTA."
"Its bad."
"Worse no obvious short form."
"I knew someone whose initials were GAS."
"I personnally didn't notice my signature reads as arsey jones (R C JONES)."-Ulquiorra1312
"NTA."
"Is it possible that the sister may be pulling a counter joke on the OP?"- 8blackhand8
"NTA."
"But I'm pretty sure your sister is messing with you."- FactorLazy5546
"NTA."
"Is there any chance you're all together at a family reunion soon in which you can casually say you think need to get some meds for this thing again, saying the name clearly while reaching for your neck or something?"
"I mean, in front of the husband so he hears it."
"Ah, I feel for this poor child."- lame_narcissist
"NTA."
"But I just want to add that the fungus was named after a Person (Louis-Charles Malassez) soooo it could be worse."- Fit_Signal6253
"NTA."
"May I suggest Messalina o Massenzia which are names from the ancient Romans."- Boccolotti
"NTA."
"If its inline with both your humors, could she be yanking your chain on this?"- isitpurple
Some however, had a bit more trouble taking the OP's side, feeling that the OP couldn't take a joke, which his sister clearly could.
"YTA."
"Only because you gave a joke name list and seem unable to tell she's joking back."
"Our in utero baby name was Maurice Morris (similar) and then Mackerel Sam for the next one."
"The only part of that which ended up true is Sam as a middle name because we got so used to calling them that."- Traditional-Pen1029
"NTA."
"That is horrible to name a child that."- prettybxtch07
"NTA."
"Now, I'm usually of the belief that we should keep our opinions of other people's choices of baby names to ourselves."
"But sometimes the names are so atrocious that I can't help but wonder why no one had the balls to speak up & at least try to save this child from a lifetime of frustration & ridicule?"
"There's a big difference between someone's name choice not aligning with our personal tastes and a name that could be considered borderline cruelty."
"For example, I was once watching a true crime show & a friend of the victim was actually named TiaJuanna Hammock."
"That poor child was failed before she was ever even born."
"So I completely understand your intention in wanting to save your niece.from that."
"At least you can tell your niece you tried and that she can take comfort in the fact that there's someone out there walking around with the name TiaJuanna Hammock."- Lateralus46N2
"NTA."
"But how does a 20 year old college student afford a $900 crib."- MistressBassKitty
"NTA."
"Even without the fact that it's the name of a fungal infection, it's so clunky and with 'a**' smackdab in the middle, there's way too many opportunities for that baby to get teased when they get to school."
"It's just cruel."
"Hopefully your sister wakes up before she makes a huge mistake."- imamage_fightme
"NTA."
"And she's a nurse, for goodness sake! "
"What's the second name?"
"Furfur?"
"The jeers she and the poor baby will get from her colleagues!"
"Might as well name the baby Candida Malassezia so her nickname can be Candy-A**."- AredhelAr-Feiniel11
"NTA."
"I think your BIL needs to know what it means!"
"Also, please point out to your sister that with how computer savvy young kids can be, that your niece will be bullied sooner rather than later over her name."- IntelligentAbies7903
If the OP's sister is seriously considering naming her child Malassezia, she may want to think about how her child would feel when they discover what their name means.
However... if she's running with a joke that was literally handed to her by the OP, then the OP might not have as big a sense of humor as he thinks...
And also might want to think a bit more carefully before messing around with his family.
Expectant Dad Of Two Livid After Brother Questions Why He'd Bring Another Kid Into Bleak World
It's no secret that a lot of people are struggling right now, from the cost of living to job insecurity to food insecurity to poor housing. But that doesn't mean we have to stop living.
For many people, that means still starting and growing their families, while planning how to navigate the world we're currently in, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor DesignerOwn1141 and his wife knew that the world around them wasn't at its best right now, but they were eager to grow their family and were excited to bring a third child into the world.
When they announced their pregnancy, his brother's first reaction was to send him articles about how the world was doomed and shame him for bringing a child into it; the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he needed to block his own brother.
He asked the sub:
The OP and his wife were excited to welcome a third child into their family.
"I am 33 and male. My wife is 29."
"We have two sons, a six-year-old boy and a three-year-old boy. Both are happy, healthy, and well taken care of."
"We love being parents to them, and I work very hard to provide a good life for my family."
"My wife is four months pregnant with our third."
The OP's brother's life was very different from his.
"My younger brother has been something of a failure-to-launch case."
"Despite having every advantage, he never got good grades in school, was addicted to 'League of Legends' so severely that he barely scraped by, and spends his days streaming games to nearly no viewers on Twitch."
"I've watched his stream a few times, but he just rages constantly."
"My wife is too classy to ever say so, but I can tell he makes her uncomfortable."
"He's my brother, so I've long wanted to believe he's just bad at communicating with people, but to be frank, he's sort of just an a**hole. He's unapologetic whenever he says something hurtful and more likely to just double down and say, 'No cap.'"
"But if anyone so much as challenges his views, he throws a huge fit."
The OP tried to share his happy news with his brother, but his brother immediately squandered it.
"Recently, we announced she was pregnant with our third child. It's a joyous occasion for us because we wanted three children, and our other two sons are excited about having another brother or sister."
"When I texted my brother the news, he immediately said he couldn't imagine having children with the world the way it was."
"I asked what he meant, and he started sending me these articles about global warming, the plague in Russia, wars around the world, and so on."
"He seems convinced that the world is going to end in ten years tops, and that I'm only bringing up another child to die in the 'water wars.'"
"I was honestly disgusted with him. To tell someone that their unborn child is going to die, that their other children are going to die, is absolutely abhorrent behavior."
"But since he's always been a sensitive s**thead, I just said, 'Whatever, man,' and stopped reading his texts."
"He wouldn't stop. He kept sending me every doomer article. He said that when the clouds evaporate, the earth is going to get 15 degrees hotter. He said that AI is going to hack every government database. He said that China is going to invade Taiwan, and then it'll be war with the US and allies against Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran."
The OP had had enough of his brother's negative feedback.
"Finally, I just told him I was blocking him and thought little of the decision."
"He went and cried to our parents (again, he's the most sensitive s**tbag in the world), and they told me what I did was over the top."
"I know that if I unblock him, he's just going to doomspam me again."
"Am I wrong for just straight-up saying I never want him in my life again?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that they understood why he felt the need to distance himself from his brother.
"NOR. He sounds insufferable."
"He sounds like one of those people who doesn't like his life and so wants everyone else to be miserable too, or makes excuses for why he didn't do more with his life by blaming his problems on some external crisis." - savingrain
"NOR. He's allowed to protect his peace, especially if his brother keeps ignoring boundaries and turning every conversation into another end-of-the-world prediction, and having kids is hardly a reason to apologize for trying to build a good life despite everything going on." - Upper-Cloud9097
"NOR. But your brother is on his way to a full mental breakdown. Send him back cute dog and cat videos. Cute horse videos. Ozzy animal voiceovers."
"Eventually his phone will start thinking he's like me and his feed will calm down." - Present_Original_797
"I mean, my beliefs and thoughts about the future are along the same lines as him, and that’s why I’m an anti-natalist, but there’s something called tact. And personal choice/autonomy."
"If someone chooses to have kids, that’s their choice, and I’d keep my opinions to myself and be supportive, especially if they’re a family member. Spreading doomer content is extremely insensitive and rude. NOR." - EngineerGold4242
"NOR: I wonder whether your brother is displaying sibling jealousy towards you and your family; he recognizes his own shortcomings and can see where he is in life compared to you, and that is his major issue."
"Days filled with unfulfilling computer games and doomspamming others, he has a lot of maturing to do. Block him until or unless he decides to join the adult world and be the uncle he is supposed to be." - iron_redditman
"NOR. I have all those fears and as such actively avoid news about them. I skipped whole paragraphs here for that reason too, lol."
"I’d definitely block my sibling or anybody else who did that to me. I already know all these things; I don’t need constant reminders. All I can do is work on improving my little corner of the world and trudge forward."
"Anyway, protect your peace." - hahagato
"You are not obligated to bond with someone just because you share blood. It’s your peace and your family that you need to protect now. If you decide to go zero contact, it’s perfectly okay!"
"Especially because you and your wife are in charge of two, almost three, little guys, and your mental peace affect directly to them."
"PS. Historically, the world has always been on the edge, but nothing stops us to be what we are, humans trying to get over all the s**t! So don’t let those bad things put you down. We can build a better world by raising kind, lovely people, and it seems you and your wife are doing it. Good luck!" - Camigatoespinace92
Others advised the OP to involve his parents in case they could help his brother.
"Unblock him and then send everything he texts you to both mom and dad. No comments, just forward it."
"They'll think you're sending it, and when they complain, you can tell them that you thought they'd be interested in your brother's articles as well."
"NOR." - No_Address687
"NOR. Your parents don't know the half of it. Forward everything and let them read it for themselves." - Available_Agent3305
"NOR. I’d keep him blocked; your parents are wrong. If you want to be petty, start sending your parents article after article of stuff you know they won’t like. They will get the hint soon enough." - OldieButNotMoldy
"I would also go low contact with the OP's parents. OP is clearly NOT the favorite son. Any boundaries he put up with his brother will be considered wrong. NOR." - Interesting_Novel997
"NOR, but also my first reaction is that your brother isn't a 'sensitive s**tbag,' he is struggling with anxiety/depression and maybe undiagnosed neurodivergence and is drowning in his own ruminations. None of that makes this an appropriate response to a pregnancy announcement; it's clearly not. But he sounds like someone who is clearly struggling here."
"If it were me, I'd be sending your parents anything he previously sent you. If they share your concern after reading a few articles, maybe they'll take steps to help him." - 2kidsnomoney---
"NOR. I'm sorry to say this, OP, but your brother has not been socialized normally. He is a chronically online loser who thinks he can do and say whatever he wants and does not understand there are no consequences because there are often no consequences when he does it in a league match or online."
"It frankly sounds like your concern for him and his future is budding into resentment and contempt, and I feel like, as most brothers would, those are not the feelings you want to hold towards him."
"I have a brother like this. He was diagnosed as an adult with Asperger’s and now just a spectrum autism diagnosis, but he’s a real a**."
"You may have to unblock him to communicate fairly. It may be worth doing this in person because it’s easier for the chronically online to 'craft' their retort rather than be a part of a conversation."
"Before you can do that, though, you need to sit down with your parents. You need to explain and be able to articulate that:"
"1. His reaction to the wonderful news of you having another child crossed the line and was inappropriate."
"2. There need to be reasonable consequences or boundaries because you are no longer willing to put up with that."
"3. It is his call at this point whether or not he wants to be in your life and your children’s lives."
"You have to have their buy-in; otherwise they are just going to continue to coddle and enable this behavior."
"Then you need to sit down with him and your parents, intervention style. You need to present the same argument you did to your parents, and in all honestly, I would question him in return: what was he hoping would have been the outcome of that conversation?"
"Did he want you to say he’s so right, so smart? Did he want you to go to your wife and tell her to abort? Does he feel like he is in a place in his life where he can be your family planner and manager? When he crosses a line, what does he feel should happen?"
"Only when he is directly confronted, and you have the right supports in place, can he be presented with how his behavior affected you and what that could possibly mean for his relationship with you and your growing family." - allison_mossie
The subreddit understood feeling burdened by so much negative information during what should be a happy time of planning and anticipating a new addition to the family, but the OP needed time to think about what he wanted his larger family dynamic to look like.
That might mean removing his brother, so that the OP could protect his own, and by extension, his wife's and children's, mental health, but it might mean minimizing contact with other people, too, if they weren't willing to respect the OP's boundaries he had for his family's life.