Most twins enjoy a lifetime bond that often transcends a usual sibling relationship. But for one twin on Reddit, the polar opposite happened.
He had such a poor relationship with his identical twin brother, he got plastic surgery to not look like him anymore–and his parents freaked out.
He wasn’t sure about how he’d handled things, so he went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by CocaColaBottleRocket on the site, asked:
“AITA, for getting plastic surgery so I don’t look like my twin?”
“I’m an identical twin (24) and my entire family is obsessed with that. We were always discouraged from dressing differently acting differently or having different interests. There were long speeches about the bond between twins even though we have nothing in common and pretty much hate each other.”
“He has become their Golden child even though he is the worst person I have ever met in my entire life. He has blamed me for crimes that he has committed including assaulting my female friend. The reason I’m wondering is because everybody flipped out when they saw the results.”
“Telling me that I look like a different person and how could I do this to him. I was lectured that I should try to be more like him and this is just an insult to the family. On a side note we were both pretty ugly,lol so am I the TA?”
People on Reddit were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this conflict based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most of them agreed that as shocking as the situation is, OP didn’t do anything wrong.
“NTA. I would definitely consider therapy or guidance to make sure you’re mentally and emotionally prepared for plastic surgery, though. I understand you’re hurt and annoyed and honestly probably (rightly) bitter, but don’t do anything absolutely life changing in all ways unless you’re 200% sure. I hope you have a good support system outside of your family 💖” –AvelanaStitches
“His brother is setting him up to take the blame for his crimes. I’d even consider a disfiguring scar or a face tattoo at that point to deny him that opportunity. A little plastic surgery sounds fine.” –FantasticDecisions
“Also it’s bizarre to me that they’re telling OP to “be more like your twin”. Maybe it’s the golden child syndrome making it look like the sh*t he spews is liquid gold, but considering he assaulted someone and tried to pin it on his brother and the use of the word “crimes”, which means the assault wasn’t the first on his rap sheet makes it hard for me question why they want OP to be like him. Maybe the genuinely believe OP did those things cause bro said it… idk. It’s just yikes all around” –Fun_Frosting_797
“If they did any research on twins before raising some they should know it is super, super common for twins in their teens and early twenties to look for ways to physically look different from their twin. It would be much more unusual for twins to be super invested in looking the same around that time.” –Music_WithRocks_In
“NTA It’s really concerning that you doing something for yourself gets framed (by them) as doing something “to him” and yet his behavior, where he literally does bad things to others is excused.”
Tell them you’re shocked at their lack of ethics and how they support and enable a criminal abuser. Then, go about you life.” –Prove____It
Although I don’t think anyone should get plastic surgery for anyone but themselves, you’re not in the wrong here. Looking alike doesn’t mean you’re not your own person. The people around you are just absolute weirdos” –MoonMacabre
“NTA. This is your life and your body. You need to live according to your expectations and desires, not those of the people around you. Especially if the people around you have this fetish about twins having this magical, mystical bond. It’s your life, not theirs. What you did was not an insult to the family – it was simply you expressing yourself. They are simply upset that you didn’t live up to their twin fantasy.” –bamf1701
“Yikes. Their response was how could you do this to HIM? What about what you want – your own identity? It’s super weird how they make comments that you should be like him and are obsessed with the fact that you’re twins. That sounds like hell. I’m sorry. Well now he can’t commit crimes and blame you. You’re definitely not TA but I’m sorry you felt you had to get plastic surgery to get some space from all of this.” –AlarmedBroccoli1331
“Obviously NTA. I don’t know how old you are but that’s your body, you decide if you get elective surgery. If your brother has assaulted someone, it’s no wonder you want to look nothing like him : it puts you at a risk to ! You can’t change your DNA so that’s the next best thing. If your family worships him and wants you to be more like him, that’s their business. They don’t seem to know how terrible he is, but they’re enabling him, and that makes not just him dangerous to you, but them also.” –ladyteruki
“Wow. You have an actual evil twin!”
“Im a twin, i get the twin bond because we were never forced to be the same person or pinned against one another. We are close because we experienced life at the same pace in the same environment and supported each other – without that, there just isn’t a bond.” –GarrZillarr
“I’m sorry that your family has treated your (and your twin’s) existence as a novelty and that you have had to put yourself through painful and the risk of surgery to feel like you’re your own person. NTA. You are free to live in whatever way you deem fit. This is your body, you’ve got to be able to live in it. I’d suggest making a little distance for yourself, for your own mental health/sanity. Toxicity can be exhausting, and I’m exhausted for you, reading this.” –Time-For-A-Brew
“I don’t even have to read the post. NTA – your body, your choice. ETA – OK, finished the post and WTF? Why did you do this to him? You didn’t do anything to him at all, geeze louise! Doubling down on my NTA.” –rpepperpot_reddit
“NTA. You have the right to do whatever you want with your body and your family cannot police it.”
“It is a bit disheartening however ( I’m not sure I am using the appropriate word here ) that you had to go through surgery, something painful and expensive, at least partly because your brother sucks instead of 100% doing it for yourself. Since your family seems extremely toxic I would suggest you go LC or NC with them and focus on yourself and your peace of mind.” –Alcmena_Yue
“NTA You don’t get on. He has done stuff in your name. You said you hate him more than anyone else. I am sure this was not an overnight decision. If this makes you feel like your own person, and that you don’t have to look at the person who you feel has ruined your life every time you get to a mirror then good for you.”
“If your family already had a golden child out of the two of you that isn’t being the same. You were being treated differently.”
“I just hope you like what was done to make a difference and realise that now you do not have to change yourself any further. You need to be you. And I would love you to be happy.” –eveilgiraffee7
“NTA but I would encourage going low contact or no contact. Because no matter how in the right you are, you’re family is going to dredge this imagined slight up CONSTANTLY. And now instead of hearing how amazingly symmetrical you are every 35 seconds, you’re going to hear how you butchered yourself every other sentence. Cut these people out” –Confident_Profit_210
“NTA your family is and they are weird. I have a twin and my mom used to dress us the same when we were kids but it stoped when we turned 6. And they never acted like your family. They treat us the same but they never encouraged us to be the same. And we have a twind bond lol” –Much_Ad7595
“As an identical twin myself, NTA. I understand the need to feel like your own person. Sharing a birthday, being in the same grade, having the same friends are all things me and my brother experienced. After high school we really both felt the need to figure who we were as individuals. We get along but not super close. Funny thing is we both ended up with lots of tattoos and piercings even though ours are each very different.” –Important-Proposal28
Hopefully OP can eventually find a way past this conflict with is family.