Making a joke at the expense of others is always a risk.
A risk that is seldom worth taking
It's very easy to say something is "all in good fun".
Even so, the person about whom you're making the joke might have trouble finding anything funny in what you're saying.
Especially when everyone is laughing at them as opposed to with them.
A Redditor Prime-hands247 recently attended a family dinner.
A dinner in which the original poster (OP)'s cousins and uncle continuously made jokes at their expense.
Something the OP quickly grew tired of, leaving them feeling there was truly only one solution.
After being accused of overreacting by their family, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for leaving my family dinner early after they kept making jokes about me?"
The OP explained why they found their family's jokes no laughing matter:
"I went to a family dinner last weekend at my parents' house."
"Everything started off normal, but after a while, my cousins and even my uncle started making jokes about my job and how I still haven’t figured life out yet."
"For context, I recently switched careers and took a pay cut to do something I actually enjoy."
"It’s been a bit of a struggle financially, but I’ve been proud of myself for sticking with it."
"At first I laughed it off but the jokes just kept coming."
"Things like maybe you’ll get a real job someday, or don’t worry, we’ll cover your meal since you’re broke."
"Everyone was laughing, including my parents, which honestly made it worse."
"After about an hour of this, I told them I didn’t appreciate the comments and asked them to stop."
"They said I was being too sensitive and that it was 'just jokes'."
"That kind of pushed me over the edge, so I got up, said I was leaving, and walked out."
"Later, my mom called me saying I embarrassed the family and should’ve just stayed and ignored it."
"Some relatives have been texting me saying I overreacted and made things awkward."
"Now I’m wondering if I should’ve just stayed and dealt with it instead of leaving."
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community overwhelmingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for storming out of their family dinner.
Everyone agreed that after the OP's family accused the OP of overreacting and didn't apologize when the OP made it clear they were upset, the OP did not need to tolerate any more of their childish behavior and did the absolutely right thing by leaving.
"Awwwww, poor babies ganged up to bully you, and now they're butthurt because you called them out. In the future, I suggest you adopt a zero-tolerance approach to this kind of behavior."
"NTA."- PurpleEmotional1401
"NTA."
"Jokes are supposed to be funny, not demeaning."
"When they doubled down, they became bigger AHs."- BigBackeron
"NTA."
"The first time was a joke."
"After that, they were just bullying you."
"You politely asked them to stop."
"They called you 'too sensitive', which is a common response from bullies."
"You walked out rather than getting into a fight about it."
"Your behavior was entirely appropriate and mature."
"Your relatives blamed you for the awkwardness, rather than blaming the actual offenders."
"Is this the first time this has happened, or is this a pattern?"
"Because usually this is not a one-time thing."
"I'm especially concerned that your mom took their side over yours."
"I think you should avoid future family dinners unless your mom apologizes."- NapalmAxolotl
"NTA."
"They were being passive-aggressive."
"If it really was all in good fun, they would have spread it around more."
"They laugh at you, then a cousin, a sister, a brother, etc."
"You were being targeted."
"Don't go back there again."- Pandy_45
"An hour?"
"That is ridiculous!"
"It's bad enough that it went on for 5 minutes, but you're not wrong to want it to stop."
"Text them all and ask them if they would want to be made fun of for an hour and see how they would like it?"
"I'm 62F and would be appalled at my family laughing at my 29M and 33F adult kids."
"You're NTA for walking out of there."- HorseygirlWH
"NTA what your crappy mother meant was that you embarrassed her because she was too spineless to defend her own daughter."- off-pissed
"NTA."
"THEY made things very awkward."- ReaderRabbit23
"NTA."
"They are just pissed because you highlighted their shitty behavior. It changed from 'just jokes' to bullying the moment you asked them to stop."- Putrid-Nectarine-873
"NTA."
"You asked them to stop, and they dismissed you."
"You could have started a big blow-up or made cutting jabs at their expense, but you just removed yourself from the situation."
"You didn't make things embarrassing and awkward, that was your AH cousins and uncle."- Consistent-Star5745
“'You embarrassed the family'."
"No, Mom, the family embarrassed ME, and you joined right in, so yeah, I marched my happy a** out!"
"NTA."- witchspoon
"NTA."
"Important things in life are worth being sensitive about."
"Like respect and bullying."-- likeahike
"If it was all in good fun, then they’d have stopped laughing when you said it was no longer fun."
"NTA."- TypeOneTypeDone
"NTA."
"Bullying and verbal abuse aren't a joke."- angelindisguise
"NTA."
"No, you do NOT have to let other people, especially family who are SUPPOSED to care for and help you, verbally abuse you."
"Which is what they were doing with their nasty comments."
"Jokes are supposed to be funny, not hurtful."
"You should have spoken up and walked out sooner."
"Every time they bring this up, tell them something like 'NO , I do not have to put up with your abusive insults'."
"And hang up/walk out."
"Enjoy your much more fun job!"- bkwormtricia
"NTA."
"100% I’m so sorry they did that to you."
"That’s what you call gaslighting, invalidation, and emotional abuse."
"I’m actually so proud of you for walking out!"
"You were not 'too sensitive' or any BS like that."
"Jokes are supposed to be funny for everyone."
"They wanted to be able to make fun of you and for you to sit there and take it."
"Hell, no!"
"That’s just messed up."
"Especially as they kept going on and on, which is just cruel!"
"They f*cked around and found out."
"If they felt embarrassed, that’s the consequence of their actions."
"Hope you’re ok!"
"Well done on sticking with a job you like and that makes you happy."- NoYoureTheBestest
"NTA."
"Even in the slightest."
"My family did this too, and I (62F) was often the brunt of it."
"I stopped going to family events, especially events with extended family."
"20+ years free of it, and whenever I have met people who participate in similar abuse, I avoid them."
"No place in my life to ever be treated like that again."- OrneryToo
"Ask them with a perfectly neutral face and expression in you voice 'please explain what’s funny…I don’t get it' and let them flounder."
"If they continue on in the same vein like 'well, you know, your ‘job’ really isn’t one', keep repeating 'I don’t get it. Please explain why it’s funny'."
"Eventually they’ll stop when they see they can’t get a rise out of you and they’re feeling/looking more and more foolish."
"A popular rejoinder on Reddit in circumstances like this is 'you didn’t embarrass them, they embarrassed themselves'."
"DO NOT APOLOGIZE TO THEM!"
"They need to apologize to you."
"NTA."- Mundane-Scarcity-219
"NTA."
"'I am not responsible for how grown adults feel about the consequences of their own actions, nor yours'."
"You took appropriate actions."- kalixanthippe
"NTA."
"U don't need an excuse to leave while they belittled u repeatedly."- halffatalan
"Definitely NTA."- CaliGrlNVA
"As someone who has had this happen in my own family you're NTA OP."- Similar-Ad-6862
"NTA."
"Jokes at the expense of others aren’t funny."- angry_gma_0618
"NTA tale as old as time it’s always the one who points out an unhealthy dynamic that gets labeled as the problem."
"Stick to your values."
"It hurts but you gotta live your life for you and do what you think is right."- womanonymous23
"NTA."
"Not at all."
"When people are telling you that you made things embarrassing or that you made things awkward, is really a projection onto you."
"You're walking out, forcing them to see that the situation was embarrassing and awkward, yet they failed to take accountability for their own actions."
"Even their rebuttal is making fun of you."
"Stand your ground!"
"You’re doing a good job, and walking out shows that you were the better person, and I’m so sorry that your family did this to you."
"I get the feeling that this is not new."
"It seems like they haven’t respected you for a long time, and the job change just gave them something to pick on you about and to be mean to you about it."
"You did right."- Firefly_Magic
We would all like to think that our parents would stick up for us when no one else would.
Sadly, for the OP, her mother not only didn't stand up for them but also took the side of those making fun of them.
Those with nurturing, loving parents usually tell their children to get out of a bad situation, which is exactly what the OP did.
