AI is clearly here to stay, and AI-generated content is infiltrating most work industries, social media, and even people's everyday life.
While people may have different opinions about the use of AI, they should at least be honest about their use of AI, especially when its usage is required to be disclosed.
Though when they use it, they should understand that they might be sacrificing relationships while seeking out efficiency in other areas of their life, cautioned the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor ThrowRA-748 was a graphic designer and adamantly against the use of AI in design work, and she thought that her long-time girlfriend agreed with her views.
But when she found that her girlfriend was not only using AI in her new designs but also lying about it at work, the Original Poster (OP) ended their relationship.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting by breaking up with my girlfriend over her use of AI?"
The OP had strong opinions about the use of AI in her graphic design.
"I am female (26), and my ex-girlfriend, May, is female (24). We were together for about two years and were talking about living together soon, so it was a serious relationship."
"Both May and I work as graphic designers. So our career is HIGHLY threatened by AI. I am personally very, very against the use of it, and May has always known this."
May was incredible at her job.
"She primarily works in website design, and her services are very in-depth and pay well; she lays out the entire website, writes most of the attention-grabbing type text on her own, and makes all the graphics you see anywhere herself. Or at least she did."
"The reason her clients pay such a high price, and she only needs to do a few projects a year, is because everything is hand-done, personal, unique to her style and it takes a lot of time/skill."
"So, in my opinion, the use of AI is not only personally insulting, but comparable to some form of fraud. She's lying to her clients."
But then the OP discovered that May had started to use AI.
"May always shows me the websites she's making as she goes along to ask for input."
"She didn't tell me she began using AI, and hid it from me and absolutely everyone who knows her. But I noticed some parts of her most recent project just looked, just, different."
"The graphics didn't all flow together as well and didn't fit her usual style. Some of the text reads very much as if a bot writes. She was also seemingly going at hyper speed. She usually could spend a week on the opening page alone, but had this one done in a day."
"So I got suspicious. I asked her outright if she had used AI, and she lied, telling me no, she didn't."
"But I know when she's lying. So I'm not happy to admit, but I went on her work computer one day while I was sleeping over at her house, and found a ton of chat history with a bot asking for text blocks/how to word key phrases, and an AI program installed that made graphics."
The OP confronted May about her use of AI.
"I confronted her the next day. And then she spilled everything, saying she didn't want to tell me cause she knows how I feel, but she doesn't see a problem with using it and thinks we need to 'use the tools we have.'"
"AI isn't a tool. It's cheating. I asked her if she had at least made the client aware and adjusted her price, to which she replied, 'They don't need to know my process.'"
The OP couldn't continue dating May after what she did.
"We argued about it over the course of a couple of days. I gave her an opportunity to at least make her client aware, which would make it a lot less bad to me, and maybe I could forgive."
"But overall, the being lied to, the lying to the clients, and especially the use of AI itself when it's something I'm personally very against... I couldn't see myself keeping the relationship. So yesterday I broke up with her."
"She thinks it's an overreaction and not a good reason to leave someone. She is honestly very hurt. And I still care about her as a person. But I just don't agree with what she's doing anymore."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some reassured the OP that she did not have to date someone who did not share her values.
"Honestly, I think it's mainly an issue about values. If being anti-AI is an important value for you, then she was not a match for you anymore, and that's okay."
"It doesn't have to make sense to other people if it does for you. It's highly subjective, in my honest opinion." - Superb-Tear6046
"If you’re reacting to her lying to you, then you’re NOR. If it’s because of her use of AI, then your values just aren’t aligned, and this is probably for the best." - not_Now_right_now
"As an artist who is frustrated (understatement) by AI if her clients are willing to pay and don’t notice or care for the difference and allow her to make more money quicker…it’s not my place to say that it’s wrong. I think AI should be regulated in certain ways, but it’s more about corporate use and devaluing humans. I’m loath to attack a freelancer for it first. We’re all struggling to navigate the new game."
"That said. OP has two issues. The lies. And that to me is the core problem, and her stance on it, which is a personal morale one. However, given her strict opinion, I’m not surprised her partner lied."
"Her partner is churning out work quicker and gaining revenue while dealing with a partner who she knows hates the method. That’s a confusing spot to be in." - Elismom1313
"As a graphic designer, I use it sometimes when appropriate, but it's often not appropriate."
"But also, I always disclose to the client that I have used AI, what it's been used for, and which AI platform was used."
"Especially because there are significant copyright issues involved in a number of AI platforms and ongoing large lawsuits about the materials they were trained on, you need to be extremely careful with which AI you are using, and make sure the client understands the risk they are taking on even if it's relatively small."
"If they haven't signed off on it, and something becomes an issue, they are coming back to you. That doesn't mean never use AI, it means get it signed off by the client."
"Same as I would if I were using stock imagery, or I would if we were using employees as models, I would go through the photo permissions and rights they have and don't have using that material."
"Also, customers will clock AI use, so you have to make sure that their brand values align with having any amount of AI used in their work."
"I don't generally use much, but occasionally will use generative AI to, for example, expand some of their existing photography to give us a bit more background to work with - and this can be a huge benefit when it's a niche industry, and they can't afford to stop working to have people come in and reshoot photography. And usually clients are very happy with that when you explain what the cost saving is and why you are doing it - but the point is they should know." - robot428
"If you’re talking values, you have to also acknowledge that OP going through her girlfriend’s s**t isn’t the most morally upstanding behavior, either. Between that and how OP described the confrontation and the gf coming clean, I wonder how much room was in their relationship for the girlfriend to be honest about something OP is so decisive on." - staceyverda
"I wouldn't jump to blaming OP. Her gf knows that generative AI is controversial and why. She knows that her specific clientele comes to her because she hand-crafts all her graphics and designs. She is lying to her clients, and when called out on it, refuses to budge. She just seems like a dishonest person who doesn't want any consequences for her AI use."
"If she wants to be an AI artist, she needs to disclose that and accept that it will result in lost clients and personal relationships. Even if she's right and genAI is totally fine, and OP and other people are all being ridiculous, she's still wrong to try to trick them into supporting an industry they find morally abhorrent." - mycatisamutant
Others understood why the OP was upset, but they weren't convinced this was breakup-worthy.
"I don't know if it's breakup worthy to me, more like it's time to have an in-depth discussion of values. (I work in artistic industries too) And THAT can absolutely lead to a breakup."
"Nobody but you can say how valuable morals and integrity is to you vs the relationship. And whether it's worth fixing is something you guys should figure out together."
"She lied, more to her clients than you, but also probably from shame and fear knowing your thoughts on it. Definitely isn't good in regards to the relationship but I also know the pressure in the industry right now and it isn't a small thing."
"You are also trying to control her actions, invading her privacy, and trying to influence her choices for your convenience. Ya'll both are in the wrong here. Talk like adults, and figure it out." - Prism_Zet
"Using AI built on the theft of ALL MEDIA FOREVER, is unethical. But they've made it ubiquitous and forced it into every CEO's hands because the prospect of 'having no employees to pay' is too powerful to resist."
"It's an industry built on removing people's jobs, not improving efficiency. Purely for scams, cheating, and eliminating costs to CEO's. It's constantly wrong, and doesn't have the logic to see why its output is messy, bad, and wasteful. It's losing money hand over fist, cranking our equipment costs, ruining the environment, it literally makes you demonstrably dumber. Etc, etc, a billion reasons why it's trash."
"Don't get me wrong, I f**king despise AI and the current bubble can't pop fast enough. But hiring a graphic designer and then having AI do it is a straight scam to the customer. They can use AI themselves if they want unregulated dogs**t."
"But I'm not going to say that people needing a job and feeling the pressure from a boss or from trying to compete with the AI waves of bulls**t, and giving in and using it are to blame. People gotta eat." - Ill_Guarantee_1432
"Imagine trying to improve your workflow with AI so you can stay competitive in an industry that is going to be consumed by AI giants, and your partner is tilting at windmills." - DryAnteater7635
"This take is so crazy to me. I work in medical research/informatics and have basically been told by supervisors that we should not be coding by hand anymore, it's just not as efficient. Cheating? Are you f**king kidding me? We are trying to find cures for diseases!"
"Do you think that the next ALS patient is going to care if the cure was found by AI or not? For art and film, etc. I get it, but you think there's something sacred about designing websites by hand?" - sinnysinsins
"I do somewhat think this is an overreaction, just putting the subject to one side for a moment, because the greater issue is actually about how you overcome differences in opinion with your partner. Just as you have an opinion, so does she, and in terms of your relationship, you need to be able to work through these differences."
"If this weren't about AI, it could just as easily be about politics, religion, or something else. The fact that she hides it from you says a lot about how you have handled these differences in the past, and how you will handle them in the future if nothing changes. I'd argue that regardless of whether you're right or wrong, you should work on this, even if it's to benefit your next relationship." - Chris73684
The subReddit understood the OP's concerns, with some going so far as to say that the OP's and May's values were too far apart to be able to reconcile a meaningful relationship. Others, however, believed that people have to be able to pay their bills, which might mean resorting to AI.
Though the OP had already made her decision about this relationship, it was important for her to continue work on her ability to have these tough conversations, which would assist her in her future relationships.
