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Redditor Called Out For Asking Girlfriend To Help Pay For Home Renovations Before She Moves In

immo RENOVATION on Unsplash

Couples sharing a home together are usually expected to share living expenses. It’s only fair.

But splitting living costs, other than a cable or electric bill, requires a different conversation, especially when a couple does not own a home together.

Redditor Live_Concert6686, whose girlfriend is moving in with them, was met with resistance after proposing a financial plan.

The Redditor visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for asking my girlfriend to help pay for home renovations?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I’m planning some very expensive renovations for my new home.”

“I asked my gf, who is moving in with me in about 4 months, if she would consider helping me pay for them.”

“Now, I have the ability to pay for them myself, but I figured since she would be living here, maybe she should contribute? She said no.”

“She said that of course she will help pay for furniture for us, and help with the utilities and mortgage (she looks at contributing to the mortgage kind of like paying rent for her).”

“But she said that she’s not contributing financially to stuff that’s going to increase the value of the house when she has no financial stake in the house and won’t get any equity for it.”

“And she said I’m an a** for even thinking that she would consider it. So AITA?”

Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

A majority of Redditors did not look upon the OP favorably.

“So you’re asking your girlfriend to pay for your increased equity in the house so if this doesn’t end up in a marriage she’s screwed out of the money and you get extra?”

“YTA – you’ve got a smart girlfriend there OP, wise up before she walks.” – No-Policy-4095

“YTA. She’s basically renting from you. Renters don’t pay for repairs or remodeling on someone else’s house. She should pay her agreed upon rent, and that’s it. If she helps pay for furniture, then that needs to be split up if she ever moves out.” – Quid-Pro-No

“Wow yes YTA bro – tenants don’t pay for upgrades to your property. They pay rent and utilities.” – towering_velveteen

“YTA. She’s right; she has no financial stake in the house.”

“You mentioned that she looks at contributing to the mortgage as paying rent, and that doesn’t seem to be a bad way to look at it, given the circumstances. By that point of view, you asking her to help pay for renovations is the same as asking a renter to do the same on a rental.” – Zazzog

“YTA, why would she invest in your home if you don’t give her ownership? If it was me I would have asked to put it in contract that 50% of the increase in value on the home goes to me when you sell since I funded half the upgrades.”

“If you’re serious about this, let her payments towards the mortgage go towards buying a share of your home.” – LadyoftheFjords

“YTA Are you serious? You’re planning on inviting your girlfriend to live in your home and you’re slapping her with this sh*t right before she moves? I feel sorry for her.” – HumbledPie

“YTA I agree with your gf. Let’s see: If you two break up she won’t have anything from the home in which she invested bc legally it’s yours. On the other hand she should help with the furniture (which should and can be split if you two break up) and utilities, which she agreed with.”

“Plus she said she’d help with the mortgage as well. These three things are connected with her living there (mortgage can be taken as a rent, well, depends on the amount of installments), but renovation relates to your own property. I see this as logical way.” – EmpressLadyDi

“YTA. Sure, she’s going to benefit from the renovations by getting to live in a nice place for now, but if you break up, she’d just be out all that money and you’d just have gained equity in your home. She can take some of the furniture if you break up and not completely lose that money, but she can’t take some of the renovation.”

“It would have been great if you’d already had the sense to realize that and not ask in the first place, but you also probably should have realized that she’s basically a tenant (legally) and tenants don’t pay for renovations, landlords do.”

“ETA: You’re also kind of the AH for not just realizing your girlfriend was right about it being inappropriate for you to ask after she explained about the equity situation and instead needed strangers to tell you you were wrong.” – Purple_Sorbet5829

“YTA. This is essentially a landlord/tenant relationship. If you want to her contribute monetarily ask that she pays rent and split the cost of utilities. If my landlord asked me to split the cost of installing a new marble countertop I would laugh his a** out of the building.”

“The situation might be different if she was requesting specific renovations to be made or if she offered to help pay. Neither of which appear to be the case.” – toiletrabbit

“YTA – she’s not even going to live there for four more months, she’s going to be paying rent to you as the owner, and it’s repairs for items she wasn’t living there to contribute to breaking.”

“You’re just being greedy and seeing how much you can get away wit milking her for. She better think twice before entangling any finances with you.” – Liladybug2

“YTA. and your girlfriend articulated it quite well. She, as a tenant, should not have asked to help renovation which is a landlords responsibility. She’s said it quite frankly- why would she pay to contribute to your home value?”

“Maybe you should look into landlord and tenant agreement and where the responsibilities lie.” – Away_Albatross2797

Overall, Redditors continued heaping on the criticism and kept reminding the OP that the girlfriend was a renter and was not obligated to make contributions towards the reno.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo