Couple Declines Friend's Wedding Invitation After Realizing How 'Cheap' Bride And Groom Are

People don't like overpaying or feeling fleeced.

Casual friendships can exploit kinship and use money as a weapon.

Eventually... the check comes due.

Redditor nicetounmeetyou wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

They asked:

"AITA for declining a wedding invitation after doing the math and realizing my 'friends' are incredibly cheap?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"About 4 years ago, my partner and I moved into a new-build block of flats."

"We organized a few meetups with other tenants and quickly clicked with one couple, especially since we share the same home country."

"We weren't hanging out constantly—maybe 6 times in total over 4 years."

"The couple was already engaged, and after our second meetup, we were surprised and honored when they gave us a 'Save the Date' for their wedding back in our home country."

"Since then, we met up a few more times, always at our flat or a bar."

"Whenever we hosted, we fully sponsored the food and alcohol."

"When planning the next meetup, they’d create an awkward silence until we offered our place."

"Even when we explicitly suggested 'we can do your place or ours,' they always chose ours."

"Once, while hosting, we ran out of alcohol."

"My partner and the neighbor went to the store for two bottles of Prosecco."

"At the checkout, instead of offering to split the cost, the neighbor asked my partner, 'Would you mind taking this?' expecting him to pay for both."

"It felt completely one-sided."

"The breaking point was at a pizzeria."

"Everyone ordered a pizza and a drink, but my partner ordered an extra £5 side."

"When paying, the guy literally said: 'Okay, let's deduct the side and split the rest 4 ways.'"

"That £5 calculation was the moment we decided we were done constantly hosting them."

"For the wedding, we were told the venue was 'not far' from a main city in our home country."

"Trusting this, we didn't check the exact address until the official invitations arrived 3 months before the wedding."

"We realized it was actually a 3-hour journey by public transport one way, and 4 hours back."

"I admit, we should have checked this earlier."

"The couple casually suggested renting a car, but I don't drive daily."

"I felt completely uncomfortable driving an unfamiliar rental abroad, especially since I’d quite possibly be hungover the morning after the wedding."

"The total cost (flights, 3 nights' accommodation, transport, and the gift) came to around £700-£800."

"Looking at that sum, and remembering the Prosecco incident and the £5 pizza calculation, we decided we weren't going."

"We politely RSVP'd 'no' well before the deadline."

Their response: "okay thanks for info."

"It’s been 6 months, and they haven't reached out once."

"We bumped into them recently; the groom tried to keep up appearances, but the bride refused to even look at us and gave one-word answers."

The OP was left to wonder:

"AITA for not going, considering I theoretically could have figured out the exact location earlier?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
• INFO - More Information Needed

Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"Six times in four years and they expected you to go to their abroad wedding?"

"Fu*king weird."

"You dodged a bullet." ~ plantborb

"We had something similar, where we rarely saw the couple and the expectation was to pay for an outrageously expensive 5-hour flight during holidays, and then drive 3.5 hours to their parents’ estate."

"So basically spend upwards of $1000+ on tickets and a further what, $200+ to rent a car for a wedding their parents were largely funding and hosting. Except it wasn’t even abroad; we live in a big country."

"Of course we tapped out, because come on... lol." ~ Squeekazu

"And the fact that the bride was completely rude to them after it, without being understanding of the fact that people can say no to ur occasion."

"I'm just happy for this couple; they're no longer friends in a sense."

"I mean, they can still be saying hi and hello to each other when they pass by each other, but pls don't go out of your way for people like these." ~ Artistic-Bar-8789

"NTA. I have a feeling that they hoped you would rent a car and then take them with you to the venue." ~ paulinaatjex

"This happened to my wife and me, although it was more about immaturity and lack of planning by other adults instead of money."

"We flew into Toronto, spent a few days there, and then needed to rent a car to drive two hours or so out of the city for the wedding."

"No biggie, happy to do it; my wife was part of the bridal party."

"But then, literally days before the wedding, other bridesmaids reached out and had no plan to get to the venue whatsoever."

"They lived in Toronto and didn't own vehicles, but I guess it never crossed their mind they might need to arrange a way to get to the wedding."

"It wasn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things; we made them chip in to cover the cost, but it was kind of odd to be in a friend group where like half of them could barely function as adults and think two steps ahead." ~ Frankensteinbeck

"NTA. You're allowed to politely decline an invitation for whatever reason you want."

"I was going to say you should stop hanging out with them, period, if you feel they're habitually mooching off you, but I see that problem has resolved itself." ~ Consistent-Star5745

"First off, RSVPing 'no' before the cut-off date is perfectly fine."

"People ask for RSVPS. Not everyone can make it."

"Those who cannot do the right thing and say so before the cut-off."

"It doesn't really matter whether the shindig is in an expensive, far-away destination or in a neighbor's backyard."

"You can't make it, and you told them so."

"Second, I am in the EXACT SAME SITUATION AS YOU with some cheap-o friends."

"The problem is, we're close."

"We've been friends for years."

"And it's only within the last year or so that these 'Let's take the five-dollar starter out of the equation even though the last four hang-outs have been at your place where you provided all the drinks and nibbles.'"

"There's an uncomfortable conversation coming; I just don't know how to start it."

"NTA, and I apologize for the venting." ~ Active-Anteater1884

"NTA... but I have a question - have you ever asked them to contribute?"

"Many many years ago I was complaining to a friend about friends of my husband that never hosted, never paid for anything, never carried a dish to the kitchen."

"I felt their visits were a vacation and I was the housemaid."

"My friend said - did you ask?"

"And of course I had not."

"I expected them to know to offer."

"The next visit at the store I looked at them and said, ' Your turn."

"They paid."

"After dinner I asked them to grab their plates - they did."

"Your neighbors may be selfish, cheap, self-centered."

"Or they may have never been taught how to be a good guest." ~ shelltrice

"NTA. You only see these people about every 8 months, so no reason to be taking that amount of effort to go to their wedding."

"It doesn't even have to be about the pizza or prosecco; they're not sufficiently integral to your circle of people to warrant the cost or effort."

"I declined a wedding invite from a friend a few years ago - I'd barely seen him for the past couple of years (since he met his wife to be) - I haven't heard from them since, but given that contact was already mostly lost, it's no loss to me." ~ Educational-While202

"NTA as long as you didn't specifically give a reason for not going."

"You might be a friend, but you're not a parent or a sibling, so you don't HAVE to go."

"It does sound to me like they're snippy because they either expected you to buy them something expensive for the wedding or they might've wanted to use you as transportation either for themselves or a family member." ~ DaBorger

"NTA. Sometimes the 'click' is more 1-sided than you thought."

"We had people on our floor who bought a puppy at the same time as we did."

"We hosted dog play dates, paid for food, etc."

"Then out of the blue they just started saying no to any and all get-togethers. "

"They tried to save face when we saw each other in passing, but you could tell something was up."

"People are weird sometimes." ~ athelan_games

"NTA. Maybe cultural differences are at play here, maybe they're total mooches, maybe it's both."

"Either way, they're barely acquaintances considering how many times you've hung out with them in four years."

"I wouldn't sweat it."

"Even if they were good friends, not everyone is able or willing to go abroad for weddings or similar events." ~ SunshineJournal01

"NTA. Splitting a fiver while expecting free hosting is peak absurdity." ~ ash-ketch-up

"NTA. How they have avoided paying for things in the past really isn’t the issue."

"The issue is that’s a lot of money, time, and inconvenience for someone else’s wedding." ~ Walway

Reddit is with you, OP.

These people don't seem like friends.

They seem like leeches.