Dogs and kids.
There are often issues with that mix.
More often than not, it is a match made in heaven.
But a lot of new parents aren’t always keen on the idea.
And nowadays pet parents have gotten very protective about bringing fur babies everywhere.
This can cause a ton of friction while vacation planning.
Case in point…
Redditor VacayThrowaway70707 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“WIBTA for not going on a family vacation because my brother wants to bring his dog?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Pre-Covid I (33 M[ale]) would go on family vacations with my family (My Parents (late 50s), Brother (27) and Sister (29). These occurred about every other year.”
“For a multitude of reasons, we haven’t done a trip since 2018.”
“I am married, and we have an 18-month-old.”
“My sister has a boyfriend, and my brother has some sort of terrier and no G[irl]F[riend] I know of.”
“My brother has morphed into a self-described ‘dog dad’ and, based off social media, seems to rarely do things without the dog.”
“We live in the same city, but different areas, and we don’t see him all that much.”
“The few times I’ve been around his dog, it behaves fine.”
“It’s too friendly for me, and I can’t speak to how it behaves over multiple days or around babies.”
“My parents have a Vrbo beach house in Florida booked.”
“In a few weeks, the deadline for a full refund for canceling is coming up, and my parents need to know if we are in.”
“We live in the west side of the USA, so we’d be flying.”
“I found out my brother plans to bring his dog.”
“My parents aren’t thrilled about it, but ‘it is what it is,’ those are my parents’ words.”
“I’m not a dog person. I despise them on airplanes.”
“I do not want to travel with the dog (tentatively, we are on the same flight).”
“I do not want to stay the week in the same house as the dog.”
“I do not want activities based on being dog friendly, and I do not want the dog around my son.”
“Our parents want to stay out of it and have us hash it out.”
“I broached the topic with my brother.”
“Essentially, he isn’t flexible on the dog, it is his family, and it is a family vacation.”
“He says my 18-month-old will be far more annoying and loud than his dog.”
“He seems firm on this, and I’m ready to pull out of the trip.”
“If I don’t go, the trip may fall apart. WIBTA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WOULD be the A**hole.
“YTA. It’s a small dog, and you said it was well-behaved.”
“It’s fair to ask if the dog is kept away from the baby.”
“A baby is far more inconvenience than a dog.”
“You can leave a dog home alone for a few hours if people want to eat at a nice restaurant.”
“It’s rude to bring a baby to a nice restaurant, they have bedtimes, and they scream at movies.”
“Kids are awesome- but you’re on a different planet if you think the vacation is going to revolve around the dog- it’s going to revolve around your baby.” ~ DoraTheUrbanExplorer
“’Too friendly for me’ means the dog is always in your face, begging for food and/or attention, and has no respect for boundaries.”
“Not everyone likes interacting with dogs. Some people just can’t comprehend that.”
“That said, they should be able to compromise, they don’t have to be around each other 24/7 the whole time, and maybe the brother can keep his dog from being a nuisance.”
“The same for the sister with the child. Keep her child occupied and close by.”
“NTA for not wanting to deal with a dog, though.”
“If they can’t compromise, then they’re both being TA.” ~ Current_Resource4385
“YTA – and his statement, ‘He says my 18-month-old will be far more annoying and loud than his dog.'”
“Is ABSOLUTELY true.”
“Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but ‘family’ isn’t defined solely by squirting out an infant or having shared the same space pre-birth.”
“He has told you that his dog is non-negotiable, and I assume that your toddler is non-negotiable.”
“You hate dogs. He might hate kids.”
“Neither is more or less valid.”
“Your ideas are not compatible – but I’m calling you the a-hole because you believe your position is superior rather than just different.” ~ txa1265
“I am particularly confused about OP’s apparent loathing for dogs on planes.”
“I mean, I absolutely understand having a problem with badly-behaved dogs (or other animals) on planes (and I adore dogs, most especially my three pups).”
“But it’s pretty rare for a dog to spend an entire flight howling and barking, whereas babies… are perhaps rather less likely to be quiet on a plane.”
“Infants, in fact, are probably the least disruptive on a plane; they can’t move about under their own steam, don’t kick seats, and sleep a lot.”
“Toddlers (which is what OP has) can move around and will want to, will probably protest (vocally, and possibly loudly) at being restricted to a seat the whole time, and are likely to do things like kick the seat in front of them.”
“Also, OP complains about ‘tentatively’ taking the same flight.”
“How is that even worth complaining about?”
“Schedule yourselves on different flights – or book tickets on the same flights, but just don’t sit next to each other.” ~ GothicGingerbread
“NAH… though I think this is a really weird hill to die on since the dog is admittedly small, well-behaved, and non-aggressive.”
“Also, as others have pointed out: this vacation is 100% going to revolve around your toddler, not the dog.”
“Honestly, I’d rather vacation with a small dog in the house than an 18-month-old (and no, I don’t hate kids, I have one, which is why I know a ‘vacation’ with a toddler isn’t particularly easy or relaxing).” ~ Bizzy1717
“YTA. Take a step back and look at the situation.”
“You’re considering pulling out of a cross-country family vacation because your brother is bringing a small dog.”
“Your brother is most likely correct in that your child will probably be more of a hassle than his dog.”
“Your Brother is your brother, and your parents are in their 50s.”
“Going every other year, how many more of these vacations do you think you all have left together?”
“But, I will relinquish that it is your family and your vacation, so you have every right to do whatever you want.” ~ naisfurious
“YTA. A small dog that behaves ‘fine’ is going to be easier to deal with than an 18-month-old.”
“You don’t want activities to be based on being dog friendly, but are you expecting all the adults to put up with the activities all having to be child friendly?”
“I doubt the trip will fall apart because your entitled a** pulls out.” ~ perfectpomelo3
“YTA. This is such a weird nitpick to have.”
“You’re the only one with a problem.”
“Go, don’t go, who cares.”
“I guess your family isn’t that important to you if someone else’s well-behaved dog makes you feel this way.” ~ phenomstar
“You’re allowed not to like dogs or wanna be around them but don’t insult your brother for becoming a dog dad and wanting to do everything with his dog.”
“It’s ugly and says more about you than it ever will him.”
“Don’t wanna go, don’t.” ~ Outrageous_Salad5275
“YTA. I’d be on your side if the dog was aggressive or large or had other behavioral issues and couldn’t be trusted not to harm your child or if you or someone else had severe allergies.”
“But I’ve read this post, and I’ve read your replies, and your complaints mostly just seem to boil down to ‘I don’t want this dog maybe being in my space,’ which isn’t a good enough reason to ban your brother and the dog from the vacation.”
“Truthfully, you just come across as being incredibly entitled.”
“’I want to bring my baby everywhere and do baby-friendly things, but no one else is allowed to!'”
“And yes, dogs and babies aren’t equivalent, but you have not given a single valid reason why your brother’s dog shouldn’t be included.”
“I don’t like dogs’ isn’t good enough in this scenario, and you are not the owner of the house in question.”
“I love babies and dogs, but I’m sure most people would rather be on a flight with a dog than a screaming 18-month-old baby, too, so yeah, your brother is right in that it’s more likely your son will be louder than the dog.” ~ ramessides
“YTA – I’ll admit dogs are not kids, and the dog dad thing can be cringey.”
“But what if he said he didn’t want your kid around, he despises kids on planes, and he didn’t want kid-friendly activities?”
“This would be a lot different if the dog actually behaved in a way that was objectionable, but your biggest gripe is it’s friendly.” ~ jrm1102
“So you and your brother live in the same city, and your 1.5-year-old son hasn’t met the dog yet?”
“You don’t want the dog around your son while you don’t even try to have them together under supervision?”
“You say the deadline is in a few weeks.”
“You can use it so your son and the dog can get to meet and see how the dog behaves.”
“Also, on vacation, you don’t have to do everything together.”
“You don’t always have to do dog-friendly things, and your brother doesn’t always have to go to child-friendly places.”
“You can also retreat into your room if you don’t want to be always around the dog.”
“If no one is allergic and the dog is not aggressive, then you are making a problem out of nothing. YTA.” ~ Random_person_–
OP, Reddit is not really with you on this.
There must be a compromise somewhere.
Maybe your brother would agree to ways to keep his dog and your baby apart.
Hopefully, this can all be resolved soon so everyone can have a good time.