We've all heard the saying, "Don't make a permanent solution for a temporary problem," and qualms with roommates should definitely fall under that category.
Especially when it involves our beloved pets, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Melodic_Doubtre had recently started working from home and was able to finally get a pet that they could pay more attention to, so they adopted a pair of bonded cats.
But their roommate soon after expected the Original Poster (OP) to get rid of the cats, because his girlfriend was allergic to cats and was irritated that they were in the apartment when she visited.
They asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting by telling my roommate that he can move out since his roommate is allergic to cats?"
The OP was the sole person on the lease for their apartment.
"My name is on the lease, and my roommate is not. He lives with me. He is an old classmate, one of my best friends, who needed a place, and I had the extra room."
"He pays half of the rent, and I cover everything else, including the other half of the rent, food, electricity, WiFi, water, etc."
When the OP started to work from home, they were excited to adopt a new companion.
"Recently, I got approved from my job that I can work from home, making it 70% remote and 30% in the office. And with that, I'm spending so much time at home, I wanted to look into getting a pet."
"I could not get a dog because we live in the city and there is no ideal place to walk or for it to run free, so it wouldn't be fair to get one."
"I decided to get two cats instead, two small brothers, two orange devils."
"And my roommate knew about me wanting pets, but the job situation would not allow it, so now with the new change, I can, and I mentioned it to him, as well, and he did not really mind it."
The OP's roommate's girlfriend overstayed her welcome and overshared her thoughts on their cats.
"But here is the thing: he has a girlfriend, and she comes over a lot. Pretty much five days a week, she sleeps over, etc, and she does not contribute to anything."
"But she came over two days ago and saw that I've gotten cats. And she got kinda mad, saying that she is heavily allergic to cats. And she wanted them out of the house."
"I said that's ridiculous; she is a guest. And she has no right over what stays or what goes."
"Then my roommate got upset, saying I couldn't talk to her like that, but then I got upset at him, as well, because the cats are staying, and that's the end of it."
The OP continued to defend their cats.
"Then we kinda all went into our own rooms and slept. But in the morning, my roommate sided with her, saying that the cats shouldn't stay, since she is very allergic to them."
"I said I could understand that, but these cats are not going anywhere, and if he has a problem with that, he can move out. Then he got really mad, calling me names and saying I'm not considerate of his girlfriend's allergies."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some reassured the OP that their cats had every right to stay in the OP's apartment.
"She can't be all that allergic if she only objected when she SAW them and stayed the night with no problem!" - drPmakes
"She's not on the lease. If she's cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc., then maybe she gets a say."
"Same story with the roommate. Not on the lease, therefore has no real say."
"OP, how much do you need your roommate's half of the rent? That's what it comes down to imo. Probably roommate needs to pound sand, unless OP needs the rent money."
"Cats or half the rent, OP. 100% your call and no one else's." - DudeWithTudeNotRude
"He can replace the roommate; he can't replace the fur babies." - AvBanoth
"NOR. You want to offer me a room where I pay half the rent, and you pay everything else in full. And I'm not on the lease, so I'm not responsible for any problems, but I can also be kicked out easily. And you gave me a heads up you were getting a couple of cats."
"If I were allergic to cats, you could call me Sneezy, because with a deal like that, I'm shutting my mouth and loving on cats."
"If my partner was allergic and unhappy, I guess I'm spending time with them away from home cuz nobody would be messing up that sweet deal for me." - calminthedark
"NOR. Guests do not get to dictate. Cats, however, always are dictators. Fuzzy, adorable dictators." - Substantial-Image941
"I'd try to fix things with the roommate, but that's about it. I'm not budging on my cats even a little, especially since the roommate was consulted before they were purchased."
"I wouldn't try hard, but I'd try in good faith with a small amount of grace for their frustration anyway. I'm not bending over backward, nor taking further s**t for it, though."
"If the roommate can't see that they were included in the decision to get the cats, and that the cats are now staying with no intended disrespect, then OP can't help them any further." - Weird-Height-9881
"Does she pay rent? No? Then she and her allergies can hang with her boyfriend at her residence."
"You are the lease-holder. She is not, nor is your roommate. If he chooses to move out because of her attempts to control your residence, that's his decision."
"Also, tell your cats I said pspspsps." - Meowtastic40kSCP
Others said the roommate and his girlfriend needed to rent their own apartment instead of depending on the OP to provide space.
"Team cats. Keep the cats, and lose the roommate and freeloader." - ouroborosstruggles
"The cats are orange boys; they have half a brain cell between them, yet somehow still twice as much as OP's roommate asking them to ditch the kittens!"
"I've never met a smart orange cat, although always completely adorable." - Large-Record7642
"Tell him if he wants to see his girlfriend, to go to her house or apartment. Better yet, to move in with her." - pdqueer
"I hope your roommate will take a hint and move out soon, but don't leave your cats alone with your roommate. Lock them in your room when you're not home." - allmykitlets
"I don’t like cats, never would own one unless I found a poor baby somewhere that needed my help, which of course I would!"
"However, as you said, his or her name is not on a lease, so they can go! If I were you, instead of suggesting he leaves, I would give him a formal notice and also ban her from coming to the house!"
"Another thing I would do is to put cameras up everywhere apart from the bathroom and his room. I have a feeling that she or both of them may want to hurt the cats or rehome them! Especially when the 30% of office work means you are not at home at any given point." - Due_Row537
"Maybe I've lived without roommates too long, but a roommate that is actively pushing or fighting for something a 3rd party person wants in regards to housing, isn't a roommate I'd want to have or keep."
"I know living with someone means compromise; but it seems like the roommate and girlfriend are expecting OP to bend over backward for someone who isn't on the lease, doesn't pay the bills there, and should understand they are a guest (albeit a very frequent one)."
"Guests don't get to dictate details of living conditions in places they don't live. (And I would seriously caution OP about agreeing to change any part of that, if this is how they approach conflict.)" - raya_sun
"I am a massive cat lover, and as such, I am going to play devil's advocate here... She probably is allergic, maybe even severely allergic, but the allergies come from dander, and since the cats are brand new to the house, their dander hasn't had time to get on things."
"If she were to get close to the cats or pet them or lie on a surface where they were lying, she would probably experience symptoms. Severe allergy symptoms don't necessarily have to be anaphylaxis. It can be severe rashes and swelling. It can be itchy eyes that could swell shut. It could cause breathing issues, but not to the point of throat closing."
"Allergies are serious. That said, RM and RM's girlfriend need to leave if they aren't OK with the cats. This is OP's apartment, and they are not on the lease. From a legal standpoint, they have no standing." - drawkward101
The subReddit fully sided with the OP providing a loving home for their two new cats while enjoying the arrangement of mostly working from home.
Since the roommate wasn't really a roommate, and his girlfriend was too frequent a visitor, perhaps it was time for them to find their own place where they could make all of the rules, and the OP could enjoy their cats and work in peace.
