Pregnancy is supposed to be a joyous time, where you celebrate the new life soon to be born.
What happens when you can’t seem to see eye to eye with a family member regarding the special event?
Redditor and Original Poster (OP) FawnaLana1 took to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit with a concern regarding her sister-in-law (SIL), in the hopes the Interwebs would grant her clarity.
“AITA for telling my sister-in-law that her maternity clothing is trashy and I would not be caught dead dressing like her?”
OP set the stage.
“I (30-Female) am pregnant with my first child. My SIL (27F) just recently gave birth to my nephew. My SIL and I are very much opposites but we usually get along okay.”
“My SIL recently brought up giving me all her old maternity clothing for me to use for my pregnancy. She was very excited about ‘helping me out’ and told me that we are sisters now and sisters always share clothing.”
“We have very different styles and I would not feel comfortable in any of her old clothes.”
“We are around the same size but she prefers more revealing clothing than I do. Think like crop tops with short shorts or extremely short mini dresses.”
Fashion is in the eye of the beholder…
“Most of the time her clothing is see-through or too small.”
“I am all for body positivity but I honestly thought she looked ridiculous dressing this way when she was pregnant but I never told her that.”
“Half the time her whole belly was hanging out of way too revealing “maternity” clothing that were stretched to their absolute limits.”
“It’s all just very thin material clothing from a super cheap online retailer.”
“I politely declined the offer immediately and told her that I would be purchasing my own when the time comes.”
…so a polite refusal will solve the problem, right?
“My SIL just doesn’t seem to be able to let go of me not wanting her old clothing. She constantly keeps bringing it up and makes it seem like I’m being rude for not accepting them.”
“Yesterday we were having a family BBQ at my house and I was wearing one of my old pre-pregnancy sundresses.”
Surely, Bar-B-Que will fix it!
“I just have a tiny bump at the moment so I am not that big yet. I still fit perfectly in my pre-pregnancy clothes.”
“My SIL took one look at me and began to laugh at me. She told me I was fooling myself if I thought I still looked good in my old clothing and that I was a joke.”
“She said I needed to accept her generosity and take her old maternity clothing so I don’t look like this pathetic ever again or like a stuffed sausage anymore.”
“I again politely refused even though I was angry at her cruel comments. I tried to forget about it and be a good host.”
“About 20 minutes after this she excused herself to go to the restroom.”
A suspicious retreat…
“I had a funny feeling about the way she was acting so I followed her into the house after a few minutes. I found her in my bedroom closet, pulling my clothes off the hangers.”
“She smiled at me and told me that I would thank her later.”
What’s a little light theft between sisters?
“I will admit that I was very angry at this point and I told her to leave.”
“I told her clothing was always way too revealing, trashy and inappropriate.”
“I told her she looked ridiculous thought her whole pregnancy and I would never be caught dead humiliating myself by dressing like her.”
“My mother in law and other family members think that this is all my fault. They think I should have just accepted the clothing and kept the peace.”
OP needed to know:
“Did I do something wrong here?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Some wanted a decisive victory.
“I hope she is no longer allowed at your house.” ~Murderbunny13
While others wanted to fight fire with crazier fire.
“the false accepting is a way to handle craziness and deter more drama by creating the false narrative that crazy wants.”
“should OP have to do this?”
“hell no! but crazy is crazy. make excuses about how clothes were ‘stolen’ – whatever.”
“OP should make up a narrative about clothes being gone and stick to it. the worst crazy can do is call OP a liar, but worse has already happened. i just want the clothes, although maybe questionable, to not be wasted when there is so much want in this world.”
“i’m not sure if you’ve handled true crazy before, but putting “your foot down” rarely if ever makes a difference. OP has tried. stating facts sounds like the most logical play, but it’s so ineffective with these people. i’m not saying that OP needs to play a game by crazy’s rules – i’m saying that OP needs to play this psycho and beat her at her own game, by OP’s own new rules.”
“it’ll be the least troublesome way to get this sick woman outta OP’s life, i hope! but ya know – just my opinion, obviously.”
“but an experienced opinion, believe me. and of course crazy needs to be banned from OP’s house – maybe in-laws as well.” ~ Effyoucreeps
Some just thought SIL was being unreasonable.
“I’d be willing to bet she would berate OP for not wearing the clothes she so kindly gave her.”
While, for others, it was about personal space.
“💯 personal closet is off-limits” ~ Outrageous_Mom
There were even calls for a more direct approach.
“I would have dragged her out by the hair and blamed pregnancy hormones at that point. Don’t touch a pregnant woman’s nest and all that. Oops I did a violent but it’s just hormones. Use their own tactics to win.” ~ Anitaform
While it’s great that calmer heads prevailed at the family BBQ, OP can rest assured she was in the right all along.
But next time, maybe she’ll just take the clothes and donate them.