Much is made by conservatives of LGBTQ+ people having agendas, because of them doing things like living their lives where conservatives might see them or know they exist.
Conservatives also rail against anything related to rainbows, claiming it's a secret signal from the Alphabet Mafia. Like Kermit the Frog singing about the "Rainbow Connection" in 1979 or the Teletubbies in 1997 were brainwashing kids to make them all gay.
A mom turned to the turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback after her homophobic family freaked out over her 7-year-old child's love of rainbows.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Princesspeach0614 asked:
"AITAH for refusing to get my son new glasses?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (28, female) have a son (7, male) who just got new glasses earlier this year. We went online and I let him pick out the style that he wanted."
"He chose a very cool rainbow frame and was very excited about it. They arrived just in time for school pictures and he had the biggest smile."
"He was so happy. He gets compliments all the time when we're out."
"Only when it comes to my family, it's become a big issue. My siblings and stepdad have told me that he should have never gotten those glasses because rainbows for any age mean that you're associated with the LGBTQ+ community."
"So they now think it's appropriate to ask if he's gay. Again, he is 7.
"I do not have a problem with LGBTQ+ community because love is love. Who am I to judge?
"My family feel very differently."
"Last night my sister was over and point blank asked my child if he had a boyfriend. He looked at her confused and said no."
"Then after she left stepdad accused me of 'having an agenda' by purchasing rainbow glasses for my son and that I'm just 'looking for attention and to cause drama'."
"He pointed out that the majority of my siblings have had a problem with him having rainbow glasses. He then said I'm jepordizing my relationships with the siblings because I didn't override my son's choice of picking out the rainbow glasses."
"I said if my relationships with them are so fragile that they can't deal with the color of my son's glasses, then the relationships weren't strong enough to begin with."
"He had no comeback for that, but continued to tell me that it was inappropriate for my son to have the rainbow glasses."
"So am I the a**hole for letting my son express himself in this way?"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP should keep the glasses and lose the homophobic a**holes in her family (NTA).
"NTA. Rainbow glasses at 7 means something very important...that your son likes rainbow glasses."
"They've shown you who they are. Not sure I'd want my son around them." ~ ProfessorDistinct835
"I feel my son would have done the same. Rainbow was his favorite color at that age.
"He at the time, and an older age, would have said he had a boyfriend if asked, because almost all of his friends were boys."
"He literally referred to them as his boyfriends at one point. Can we maybe just let kids be kids for f*ck's sake?" ~ Cardsfan1
"I'd ask him (and any siblings with an issue) why he's being a creep and sexualising a 7 year old. Heavily imply their interest in a little child's sexuality is deviant and makes them unsafe for your child to be around alone." ~ Beth21286
"I'd start talking with your siblings and stepdad about their sex life with them in public. When they balk, say, 'Oh, it's inappropriate, you say. So is your opinion on my son's choice of glasses'." ~ City_Girl_at_heart
"Creeps is right! Why does they care so much?" ~ SirDerpingt0n
"Can we stop using CHILDREN as tools in peoples' weird bigotry? Kids like rainbows and bright primary colors. Like their first box of crayons or blocks. It's the homophobes that make it weird." ~ BusinessLetterhead47
"My husband flew a rainbow flag on our boat because he liked rainbows. I had to gently explain what the flag it meant. He was fine with it. So kids are not the only ones who just love rainbows." ~ Ultrawhiner
"My sweet dad had a rainbow belt back twenty years ago. I don't think he bought it to make a statement, but I gently asked if he knew the connotation—he'd been married to my mom for thirty years even then."
"He told me he did. I still don't know if dad is just too cool to care about what he wears or quietly showing support for the gay community in belt form. Love that guy." ~ Ok_Exit5778
"I too chose rainbow when I was given the choice to choose my 'color' on my first bedroom makeover. I think I was his age, maybe a little older."
"Rainbows are awesome, and homophobic Christian right wingers are babies." ~ carlitospig
"Then kids get older….then they want black. And the same right wing bigots have a fit that they're not wearing bright colors and claim that all black is Satanic."
Almost all kids like rainbow colours: ice cream, cake, clothes, toys, etc... My nephew loves his rainbow flip-flops."
"But it's really inappropriate to ask a kid if he has a boyfriend just to force your own narrow minded, homophobic opinion." ~ moanaw123
"OP simply let her son express himself. The problem lies with her family's prejudice, not a pair of rainbow glasses."
"Yes, for many kids, rainbow was their 'favorite' color at that age." ~ tyj0306
"These same people screaming about rainbows are sexually indoctrinating children literally can't stop themselves from being major hypocrites by constantly fixating on children's sexuality." ~ WesternUnusual2713
"I cannot imagine telling your child that they can't get something they like because there's a bigoted social constraint out there against colors. Again, let kids be kids."
"Also tell your family not to sexualize your 7-year-old son. It's creepy and gross that they fixate on a young child's sexuality just because the kid likes rainbows." ~ qualified_alienist
"OP, it's very strange for 'Christian' conservatives to be so absolutely obsessed with sex, LGBTQ+ people, other people's sex lives, body parts, etc..."
"And to think a 7 year old boy is gay and ask him if he has a boyfriend because he picked brightly colored glasses? What the hell is wrong with these people?"
"Rainbows are beautiful and colorful, something that nearly everyone likes, except for mean and angry people scared of an innocent boy liking colors."
"Go low or no contact with your family. They suck the joy out of everything. Your sweet little boy does not need to be around them."
"God makes rainbows. Does that mean God is gay? If their God is LGBTQ+, these people are in serious trouble." ~ Specialist-Jello7544
"I'm mostly conservative and think this family are a bunch of a**hats."
"My son has to wear a leg brace. He gets to choose the pattern on the outside. When he was 5, he chose rainbow swirls."
"No one we know said a word because they don't sexualize kids and they aren't jerks. He just liked all the colors because he was 5.
"He's 19 now and has had all kinds of patterns on his braces. Oh and he's straight. Turns out liking rainbows when you're a kid doesn't make one gay. OP's family sucks." ~ SinglePermission9373
"Didn't you know those nefarious gays stole the rainbow from God?"
"A long time ago, going into 4th grade, it was time for a new winter coat. I picked one that was royal purple."
"My mom was a little leery, with the 'are you sure? You're sure you want the purple coat?' And yes I did, and I told the kids that called it girly to f*ck off."
"Now, as a middle aged straight guy, I kinda want rainbow frames next time I get glasses." ~ hicow
"OP wrote, 'So they think it's appropriate to ask if he's gay'."
"In other words…they think it's appropriate to bully a 7-year-old. Why is OP still in contact with these losers?" ~ PrideofCapetown
"I wouldn't want the OP's family around my kid if had one." ~ SelkieSweetheart
"Yeah, Jesus H. Christ, the kid is 7! Rainbows are just colorful. What is wrong with these family members going off about being gay just because one accessory is rainbow? Sometimes a rainbow is just a rainbow." ~ dbx999
"He's 7! I'd be asking why they think it's appropriate to ask a young child about their non existent romantic life."
"I'd encourage my kid to start asking some outlandish relationship questions to them, especially if your sister is single, start asking when she's getting married and having babies."
"NTA, way to go mom. Kids just like bright colors. Have they never seen a ball pit or one of those big classic Lego sets? Almost all the rainbow colors." ~ Intelligent-Ask-3264
"NTA. Tell your homophobic family to stop asking if your 7-year-old child is gay just because he likes rainbows. And to STFU in general because it's gross to sexualize a child for liking colors."
"Take your kid away from these people. They're all a**holes." ~ NYCStoryteller
Conservatives frequently claim they're protecting children and want kids to be kids when they attack drag queens or transgender children and adults, or anything or anyone that they even suspect supports LGBTQ+ people's right to exist.
Their excuse is that they want adults who they claim are forcing an agenda on children to let kids be kids.
Yet it's those same conservatives constantly sexualizing children and demanding to know what body parts a child they don't know has under their clothes.
Maybe they should listen to their own demands, mind their own business, and just let other people's kids be kids.















Trans Man Considers Breaking Off Engagement After Fiancé Wants Him To Wear A Dress For Wedding
KimJane Photography/GettyImages
A lot of people often say, "Believe people when they tell you who they are the first time."
It's one of life's truest (and ignored) sayings.
Believe a person when they are drunk and spew words as well.
Often, a few drinks will help a person let loose on how they really feel.
And then take note.
Redditor dude-e23 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"Hi, I'm sorry for the potentially bad English; it's not my first language anyway."
"I'm a 26-year-old male who recently got engaged to my fiancè, a 28-year-old male."
"For the sake of the story, I'm going to call him Mark."
"I'm a trans man, and this will be relevant to the story."
"Mark and I have been going out for 4 years, and I wasn't on testosterone when we met, and only started recently."
"Mark had never had any issues with my gender identity; he always respected my pronouns and my gender, or so I thought."
"Recently, we were over at his parents' when the topic of the wedding planning came up."
"His mom asked about our wedding outfits, and Mark, who was a bit drunk at this point, said, 'I want to put (my name) in a dress so SHE can be prepared for HER future wifey duty.'"
"I was stunned, and I could see how uncomfortable his mom was."
"I said we were leaving and took Mark home."
"It happened yesterday, and I'm genuinely thinking of breaking it off."
"I've struggled a lot with my identity, and a big part of my family cut me off after my coming out."
"Right now, Mark is at work, and I pretended to be asleep when he left, but now I can't stop overthinking small details like how he used some feminine term in bed or how he always hated when I cut my hair short."
"But maybe he thought it was funny, and he was too drunk to realize what he was saying."
The OP was left to wonder:
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.
"Yeah, so it turns out that this isn't the case."
"Please don't marry him."
"He fundamentally doesn't respect who you are."
"And to be honest, this would be a disturbing enough statement if you were a woman."
"You can't tie yourself down to this person." ~ HighRiseCat
"Yes! It would still be icky and questionable for him to say this if OP presented as a CIS female - but the fact that OP is a trans man makes it horrifying. WTF?!" ~ MarionberryOk2874
"NOR. I'm a cisgender, heterosexual married woman, so my experience with dating is very different from yours, but if my fiancé said 'She will be wearing a modest dress to get used to life as a married woman' or 'She needs to wear a low cut dress, so I can see what I'm buying' or anything along those lines, I would have called it off quickly."
"The dismissal of your identity is problematic as hell, but so is the little hint that married life will be radically different and not in a lovely, better way."
"Your wedding attire should reflect you, your identity, your values, comfort, and inspire confidence."
"You deserve that."
"Everyone deserves that." ~ ankareeda
"NOR, have a direct conversation with him about this, and don't get legally entangled with him."
"He shouldn't be thinking this is funny anyway; drunkness is not an excuse here, you're his partner of many years." ~ Fit_Square1322
"If these things that he says are coming out when he's drunk, that probably means he's thinking about these issues of your gender presentation, but he's not telling you what he's thinking."
"He sounds very emotionally immature and not ready for marriage." ~ GreenDirt2
"Bro, drunk words are sober thoughts with the volume turned up."
"Thought it was funny isn’t a defense."
"It’s a confession."
"He told his mom who he actually thinks you are."
"You survived your family cutting you off to live as you."
"You don’t owe anyone a second round of that grief because your fiancé can’t handle pronouns after 4 years." ~ BabydolllVibess
"Oh, my God??!!"
"Dude, that’s crazy. Please dump his as*."
"He clearly doesn’t see you as a man, and if you marry him, you’re resigning yourself to a life of being misgendered, and he’s probably gonna try and detransition you or feminize you (seeing as he wants you to wear a DRESS)."
"Also, I’m a trans dude, and I think it’s important that you hear a fellow trans man say this."
"You need to leave."
"You’re a man, and it’s insane that he’s trying to make you feel like you aren’t."
"The breakup will probably suck, but if you stay with him, it’ll be 100x worse." ~ mothmn_9
"NOR, I’ve learned drunk people usually speak more honestly than they mean to."
"I’d guess his mask slipped off; this is certainly grounds for leaving if he can’t accept who you are as you are." ~ Defiant_Tea_8722
"You’re not overreacting."
"I don’t think he actually respects you and who you are as a person."
"He called you feminine things all throughout your relationship."
"Maybe he never accepted you, and I’m sorry."
"I know that's a lot, but I know you will find someone who actually respects you and cares for you truly." ~ Due_Classic_4090
"Some people would tell you that people say things they don’t mean when they’re drunk. I think that’s BS."
"In my experience, it just removes their filter, and everything they say has an underlying truth to it."
"Knowing your gender identity and what you prefer, his words seem very disrespectful towards you and inconsiderate of your feelings, and being drunk isn’t a good enough excuse."
"If you have doubts, don’t just brush them off; trust your gut." ~ Kitchen_Process_8351
"NOR."
"I’m a cis woman, but my first serious relationship was with a trans man."
"Frankly, he was abusive, and I don’t even like or respect him, but still I would NEVER misgender him, because I sincerely understand that he’s a man."
"And I’m not an a**hole."
"Your partner is an a**hole." ~ tigalicious
"NOR. That’s a major breach of trust."
"Your relationship has gone on long enough for him to know that sh*t isn’t cool and is not a matter to joke over, even if he’s drunk (unless he has a drinking problem, in which case he needs to address that before marriage and work to make amends)." ~ Moist_Drippings
"NOR. It sounds like he might be counting on your gender identity to be 'just a phase' and that after the marriage, he’ll expect you to embody the 'wifely' role fully."
"He isn’t taking you seriously as a man, and it doesn’t sound like he’s actually on board for a homosexual marriage."
"Get out of there!" ~ Amwfgoddess
"NOR. My biggest concern is the potential for abuse - wifey duty?"
"Not even a conservative man says something like that."
"It's a pure trash statement."
"My first marriage was to an addict... 'DRUNKEN WORDS ARE SOBER THOUGHTS!'"
"😔 I'm so sorry. 🫂" ~ pashinates
OP returned with an UPDATE:
"I dont know if this is how you update, but anyway..."
"Mark and I are done."
"He came home from work an hour and a half ago, and I made him dinner so we could eat and talk."
"I told him what he said deeply hurt me, that I felt like he didn't respect me and saw me as a woman."
"He said that until recently he always saw me as a man, even though I'm the more feminine side (whatever that means), but since I've started taking testosterone, he realized he was less attracted to me and started to resent me."
"Which is f**king weird because my appearance didn't even change that much, and that he needed to take the 'lead' of the relationship again."
"By then, I had heard enough."
"I made it clear we were done and that this type of behavior was not okay and that it'll never be okay."
"That he had to go to therapy and work on his insecurities, but that I couldn't stay with him."
"At this point, he was apologizing and almost pleading with me to stay, but I really did not want to stay, so I took all my essentials and called my friend."
"I'm currently waiting for her to pick me up."
"I'm so confused about how someone I loved so much could betray me like that."
"I'll ask my friend and her husband if they can go back to take my other stuff later on because I really don't want to see him."
"I'm safe, my friend set me up in the guest bedroom, and I'm so grateful I have her."
"Mark and his family have been blowing up my phone."
"His mom, bless her heart, has only asked how I was and said that no matter what, she'll always see me as her son and that she's sorry about Mark's behavior, but his dad and brother have been sending me very insulting texts that included slurs."
"Mark threatened to 'go get me,' but luckily, he doesn't know where my friend lives."
"Honestly, I don't even recognize the man I was with."
"I'm thinking about moving to another city where I could live with my cousin until I'm back on my feet, but that's a whole other story."
"I'm planning to keep in contact with Mark's mom, and I'll be meeting up with her on Thursday."
"Thank you so much for opening my eyes and for making me realize Mark's behavior was not normal."
This is such a heartbreaking story.
So sorry you had to go through this, OP.
Reddit is loudly 1000% with you.
It's wonderful that you have love and support.
Stay strong.