No two people have the same sort of relationship with their neighbors.
Some people almost never speak to their neighbors, nor do they make much effort to get to know them.
While others become fast friends, visiting each other’s homes on a regular basis, and knowing almost every detail about each other’s lives.
The teenage daughter of Redditor luckycharms_jake made an effort to get to know their new neighbors who lived across the hall from them.
But their relationship quickly soured when the original poster (OP) heard one of them make an insensitive remark to his daughter.
Concerned he may have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for getting upset my neighbors are judging my daughter.”
The OP first shared how he came to be a single father at a very young age.
“So I (29 M[ale]) had my daughter (13 F[emale]) very young, as a teenager.”
“Her mom’s family decided last minute they didn’t want anything to do with a baby.”
“So I’ve been raising her with the help of my family.”
“Overall my daughter is a really good kid.”
“Athletic, smart, funny, kind.”
“We live in an apartment because it’s just the 2 of us, plus her cat, so we don’t need anything bigger.”
The OP then shared. that his and his daughter’s new neighbors were fairly surprised that the OP was the single father of a teenager, resulting in some invasive questions for his daughter which the OP did not tolerate.
“We got new neighbors 2 months ago a a couple.
“Around my age, with a baby.”
“Last week I noticed my daughter would talk to them.”
“She’s pretty social.”
“So I decided to introduce myself as my daughter’s dad and they were shocked by how young I was, and asked where her mom is.”
“I just said I’m single and it’s just me raising her.”
“They were disgusted by us after.”
“I overheard the wife talking to my daughter yesterday, and asked if she wish she had a mom.”
My daughter got really uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say.”
“So when she was at school I confronted her and said I don’t care if you judge me but don’t judge my daughter or make her uncomfortable.”
“The husband said well she was just asking a question and maybe it was awkward for your daughter to answer because she really wants a mom.”
“I told them both to just f*ck off and not talk to my daughter.”
“I feel like that may have been too much so AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not at all the a**hole for calling out his neighbors for being insensitive to his daughter.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s neighbors were being incredibly insensitive, and were poking their noses where they had absolutely no business.
“NTA, they were completely out of line.”
“They have no idea why you have her, right?”
“So yeah, with having absolutely zero knowledge of how she came to be your daughter, they are COMPLETELY overstepping.”
“No wonder your daughter felt uncomfortable with that question!!“-Zestyclose-Hour8614.
“It’s not your neighbor’s place to ask personal questions like that, especially to a minor.”
“If they ask a personal question and make someone visibly upset, they certainly shouldn’t double down that her being upset means anything other than she’s upset because they are rude nose-poking a**holes who cannot mind their own business.”
“Next time you talk to them, ask their baby — aloud — if it wishes it didn’t have a**holes for parents.”- American-Mary.
“I think what you said was appropriate in light of what they said to your daughter.”
“Asking a 13 year old if she wished she had a mom is rude, crude and the behavior of a Neanderthal – who does this right after meeting someone.”
“And the father just as bad.”
“Yeah, so his a**hole wife was ‘just asking a question, of do you wish you had a mom?'”
“What if her mom was not alive?”
“Was their objective to make your daughter feel awkward because that’s the only thing that makes sense.”
“I’m outraged on behalf of your daughter.”
“What a bunch of A**HOLES those two.”-yesnomaybe123.
“These people are low-key bullying your daughter.”
“I suggest you let the landlord know if they try to speak to her again.”- panic_bread.
“Your neighbors are raging AH for inserting themselves and their nasty opinions on a child.”-EngineeringDry7999.
“Who thinks a child not answering if she wanted a mom equals to her wanting one?”-QuasadillafromHell.
“That’s f*cked up for them to say that stuff directly to your daughter.”
“It sounds like they are listening to all this conservative moral panic about ‘grooming’ being some epidemic level problem.”
“Anyway telling them to f*ck off is the way to go.”-50653.
“You’re doing the best that you can for your family unit, and it’s not up for other people to judge how your family is structured.”- Substantial-Ice-7340.
“That is one of the most bizarre and vicious things I’ve ever heard anyone say to anyone, let alone a child.”
“They’re beyond a**holedom and into a whole new realm.”
“I’m not sure you could tell them to f*ck off hard enough, under the circumstances!”-NoreastNorwest.
“Yeah definitely NTA.”
“They can take their old-fashioned ideas of what families look like and shove it.”
“I wonder if they’d have reacted the same if you were a single mother instead.”- birdlad520.
“NTA and they are very much TA.”
“I am so sorry for your daughter having to experience this.”-carlamarx86.
“If you have a civil relationship with the individuals who work for the apartment complex, I would shoot an email or go down to the office and make sure that there’s a record of this, cuz if things go south with these people it’s good for there to be a record to show that you’re not the instigator.”-JCBashBash.
“NTA, they were totally and completely out of line.”- pookapotomuses.
“Those neighbors were AHs.”
“They have no idea if she has a mother she sees regularly, if her mother died in some tragic way 3 months ago, or if she never knew her.”
“Decent random neighbors don’t ask a kid this stuff!”- Neenknits.
“Your neighbors are assholes.”- toofat2serve.
“NTA and good for you for standing up for yourself and your daughter.”- Awkward-Painter.
“Unless you’re close with the person you shouldn’t be asking something so personal and a child to boot.”
“It’s quite disturbing for such people to be parents yet behave as such.”-denasher.
“I always thought people were insanely stupid for always asking me if I wanted brothers & sisters growing up.”
“Well and even to this day and I’m 41.”
“This takes the cake.”
“Neighbor volunteering to do a brother/husband situation or wtf?! “
“That is an absolute inappropriate question for anyone to ask except for you if it fits the context of you & your daughters conversation and then for some stranger to ask?”
“I had a neighbor once that raised his daughter on his own.”
“We weren’t neighbors for maybe a year or so when she was about 2 or 3.”
“But the only things I commented on is when he was playing in leaves with her if he wanted me to take pictures because I happened to be outside and figured he probably doesn’t have a 3rd party around a lot to have candid shots.”
“And he would come ask occasionally to have me show him how to french braid hair.”
“That young lady is now a senior in high school and grew up to be a lovely young lady with a devoted dad.”- SnooPeppers1641.
“I’d have done more than tell them them to fuck off.”- SelfStudy657.
“They don’t know the circumstances why you’re single and it doesn’t matter.”- RustyNail1980.
“At least you sound like you are doing a good job of being a single parent.”
“I know people who had kids at when they were older and are sh*t parents.”- whoatethebacon.
“It’s absolutely none of anyone’s business what a situation surrounding a child’s parentage is, aside from the parents themselves!!”
“They were way out of line.”- evieeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
“Who the f*ck asks a child something like that!?”
“Your neighbors are really creepy and have no business judging you, your life choices or your child.”- Foxykid09.
“NTA- but your neighbors definitely are!”
“I am so sorry you two have to experience something like that.”
“I know quite a few people that became parents in their teens and I can tell you they are not worse parents.”
“I also know a lot of single parents and they, too are not worse parents!”- Kurowolf93.
“What judgmental a**holes they are.”
“Not everyone has a mum.”
“I’m sorry for your daughter, she sounds a brilliant kid with a brilliant father though.”-Colafina.
It is surprising that these neighbors would ask such a personal question to someone they hardly know.
It’s also sad that they seemed to ignore how well her young, single father seemed to raise her.
It seems like these young parents could learn a lot from the OP when it comes to parenting.