Weddings are typically a special day for the betrothed and family. An event to celebrate things that do not have a price tag, like love, happiness, and the start of a family.
What if overbearing parents had a different view? If they saw it as a time to collect money and gifts?
Redditor bellayouarethemoon looked to the “Am I The *A**hole” (AITA) subreddit for judgement on a situation when her parents focused on guests’ gifts more than the wishes of the bride and groom.
“AITA for telling my parents they’re not going to be collecting off of my wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“By collecting I mean.. every wedding, communion, confirmation, and graduation party where they had to give a gift they’ve been tallying over the years. They think that everyone ‘owes’ them for the money they’ve shelled out and that they’ll get their return when I have my own wedding.”
”They don’t want my money, they want me to have everyone else’s money… so they expect me to invite distant family members, their personal friends, and neighbors I’ve never even talked to for more than 10 minutes in my life. All because they had to go to theirs and give a gift.”
“I went to my cousins wedding that had at least 100 people attending. No one would let the bride just sit and eat. She didn’t get to have fun until what seemed like the end of the night. I really don’t want that.”
“So I was on the phone with my mom yesterday and she said she just got an invite to a neighbors baby shower. I light heartedly made a joke that they already collected on those neighbors going to my grad party.”
”She was like oh no we didn’t. They’re going to be invited to your wedding too. Each person in the household gave me $100 each ($500 total) for my grad party.”
”They went to both daughters weddings, where they gave them money so I feel like they ‘collected’ on that. I told her no. That people don’t give gifts to get something in return.”
“I was on speaker and my dad heard. He said I didn’t have a choice and I told him it’s not happening. I want a small intimate wedding with 50 people at most.”
”Our friends. Our immediate family. Not people I see on holiday once every year or two, which means even my family members are getting the cut.”
”That’s not to be malicious or hurtful. I’m not worried about money and gifts. I literally can’t wait to be married to my fiance and I want people who are active in our day to day lives to be present.”
“They said they would pay for everything and I said no! I told them it wasn’t their wedding and they don’t have ownership of my guest list.”
”They told me that I would be damaging relationships with family and their friends (most of them I NEVER see) if everyone wasn’t invited. I told them I didn’t care. So they both think I’m a selfish *sshole.”
”I think they’re the AH but I feel guilty because I’m really close to my parents being that I’m an only child. Ugh, AITA?”
Op added additional edits after some comments came in.
“Never gave anything they couldn’t afford. But I think kept expectations that what they give as gifts would be a return for me. That someone else would help me out.”
”At least that’s what I think they’re trying to have me understand. I just see it as a choice they made together.”
”I wasnt invited to those weddings. I want my own people at my gatherings. Bring a gift or don’t, I really don’t care just celebrate my wedding.”