Children dealing with their parents can vary from easy and exasperation, to non-stop conflict. Parents are just as flawed as anyone else.
A Redditor asked if how they handled a situation with their parents was right or wrong. The original poster (OP) took their story to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to find out.
“AITA for telling my brother our mom sold his dog?”
This is what happened:
“My brother got a puppy from our dad for his birthday last year. mom and dad had a bad divorce and she hated that he didn’t ok with her before getting one for my brother.”
“My brother has wanted a dog for forever but my mom never let him because of the shedding. I like dogs so I was happy with the new family member but my mom never liked him.”
“Six months ago he disappeared and mom said he ran away. My brother was devastated and cried every night.”
“He and I suspected she got rid of him and he and her had massive fights everyday but she denied it so nothing came of it.”
“I was fixing her phone notifications since she wouldn’t get notifications from some people and saw she had a etransfer for $4000 from someone I didn’t recognize so I looked in her emails and sure enough she had posted the dog for sale.”
“I confronted her and she told me she had put the money in our college fund. I told her I was telling my brother and she yelled at me for choosing a useless animal over her.”
“I told my brother anyway since I wanted him to stop worrying if his dog was still alive and they had a massive fight and he tried to get his dog back but obviously they didn’t respond.”
“My mom blamed me for their bad relationship and I feel guilty now because they are constantly fighting.”
The AITA board has posters ask if they were wrong for whatever action they took in their situation. They’ll explain the situation and receive judgement from the other commenters.
The commenters do this by including one of the following in their response:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP was just informing their brother to make sure he didn’t worry. The one who got rid of the dog, the mom, is the one at fault.
That’s the logic used by commenters who voted that OP was NTA.
“NTA. Mom’s lie is the reason they have a bad relationship, not your revealing the truth.”
“Mom could have said ‘No dogs allowed at my house. We either have to put it up for adoption, or it stays exclusively with Dad’. Your brother would probably still be angry, but I imagine much less so.” – 9okm
“NTA. Your mom sold your brother’s dog, then expected you to be complicit in it when you found out.”
“You didn’t take the dog over her, she took the money over both of you.” – ComedicHermit
“I bet she never even put the $4K in the college fund, probably kept it. I mean, selling a puppy and then telling your brother it ‘ran away’ is shady as hell anyway, so I would not be surprised one bit if she kept the money.” – PrscheWdow
“NTA. It’s her fault they have a bad relationship, not yours.”
“What a horrible mother to make your brother worry about his ‘lost’ dog. You telling him at least gives him peace of mind that his dog isn’t injured or suffering somewhere.”
“I’m sorry she did that. Our pets are our family.” – DisneyAddict2021
“You’re NTA. And your mother stole the dog and sold it. It was purchased by your father and given to your brother.”
“Because your parents are divorced, your mother had no ownership over it.” – mufflewrites
However, not everyone was ready to lay the blame squarely on the mom. Others wanted to point out that she wasn’t the only one who made a bad choice.
Both parents could be argued to be at fault here.
“Both of your parents are though.”
“Your dad had absolutely no right to force a dog on your mom. He should have been keeping the dog at his house. Your mom had every right to refuse to allow the dog to be at her house and that is entirely on your dad.”
“Your mom selling the dog and saying it ran away was also unacceptable. She should have just refused to let the dog live at her house and made your dad keep it and made your dad take the blame for having screwed up in the first place by expecting the dog to go back and forth with you guys.”
“Your parents are both trying to hurt each other by using you and your brother as pawns and that is never OK.” – 7thatsanope
“Dad is an AH for not consulting your mom about the puppy. That’s a huge thing to impose on anyone’s home.”
“Dad is an AH because he likely knew your mom didn’t want a dog in your house.”
“Mom is an AH for not enforcing boundaries with your dad when the puppy first arrived and simply sending the pup to his place to live permanently.”
“Mom is an AH for selling the pup, and at $4,000 that could be considered felony theft from your dad.”
“Mom is an AH for lying to your brother about it and traumatizing him for weeks.”
“I’m not even gonna ding you for the snooping. You’re young and impulse control is hard. You know it was wrong anyway, but it certainly was right in the end.” – Cryndalae
“Your mom and dad suck because the dog should’ve been at your dad’s house. And your mom had no right to sell the dog knowing how much your brother loved it.”
“And I wouldn’t believe the college fund thing because if she lied to you about the whereabouts of the dog, then why would you believe this.”
“Those two need counseling.” – Devegas49
“For telling your brother the truth. YTA if you don’t recognize that your dad is also an AH for getting your brother a dog that would then end up at your mom’s house when she already said she didn’t want one.”
“He’s not blameless in this either, he could have kept the dog for your brother at his own place, he chose not to take responsibility and dropped it in your mom’s lap for her to take care of.”
“She shouldn’t have sold it, she should have told your dad that either he keeps it with him or she’s getting rid of it.” – BratzDollHustle
It certainly seems like the dog was a ploy by the dad either to upset the mom, or gain the favor of the kids. At best, dad was oblivious to mom’s feelings on getting a dog which is a completely different can of worms.
OP shouldn’t feel guilty, but when the family is fighting, it’s difficult not to. Instead, they should stand by their brother, and hope things can come out okay on the other side.