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Mom Refuses To Let Daughter And Two Kids Move In After Cheating Husband Kicks Them Out

Silhouette of woman and baby.
Stanislaw Pytel/Getty Images

There comes a point in everyone’s life when they have to stop relying on their parents for help.

As they simply can’t bail their children out every time they find themselves in a pickle, or they will simply never learn how to be self-sufficient.

That being said, sometimes, if their children find themselves in big enough trouble, then the only compassionate thing to do is offer help of some kind.

The daughter of Redditor arielview22 was devastated to learn that not only was her husband leaving her for another woman, but he was also keeping their house.

Leading her to turn to the original poster (OP) for help while she got back on her feet.

While the OP, of course, wanted to be there for her daughter, she felt what she was asking was too much and put her foot down at her request.

Wondering if she was being unfair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AIITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for getting my daughter an apartment vs letting her move back in?”

The OP explained why she was only willing to help her daughter up to a point after she had been kicked out by her husband.

“My (45 F[emale]) daughter, Mallory (24 F), got married three years ago.”

“She has two children (2 & 6 months).”

“Recently, her husband revealed he’s been cheating on her and is leaving her for another woman.”

“They rent a house, but due to my daughter having no credit at the time of moving in, only his name is on the lease.”

“He is giving her 30 days to move out.”

“Mallory is understandably distraught.”

“I’ve been doing all I can to comfort her.”

“She asked if she could move in with me, explaining she’d have the kids every other week.”

“She assured me she isn’t looking for childcare.”

“Both kids are in daycare.”

“She offered to pay rent and chip in on groceries.”

“Now, I have always raised my kids to be independent.”

“I didn’t kick them out at 18, but I did encourage them to start doing things on their own.”

“Mallory moved out at 19 (moving in with her soon-to-be ex), my sons are in college and plan to move out after graduating from college (they’re both freshmen at the same university).”

“I asked Mallory how her credit score was.”

“She said she could reasonably rent.”

“I offered to pay the first month, last month, and a deposit, along with six months’ rent.”

“She said it’s not about the money.”

“She’s not wealthy by any means, but she does well for herself, and her husband is already agreeing to give her money weekly, even before they go to court.”

“She just wants emotional support.”

“I told her I could do that with her living in her own place.”

“She started to cry and said she just needs her mom right now.”

“I told her she was going to be okay.”

“My sons are pissed with me.”

“They pointed out I have plenty of room, that Mallory has offered to pay rent.”

“She’s also not the type to shrug off the responsibility of the kids, and the toddler is well-behaved.”

“To me, that doesn’t matter.”

“They called me heartless.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The OP found little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, who agreed that she was, indeed, the a**hole for refusing to let her daughter move in with her.

While everyone understood the OP’s desire for her children to be independent, they also found her behavior slightly heartless, ignoring that what her daughter was looking for more than anything was emotional support.

“’I just need my mom.’”


“Soon you’ll be asking where your relationship went wrong and wishing she would come to visit.”-mallionaire7


“Moving in with you for a few months while she recovers is not going backward.”

“And maybe if you weren’t so hung up on pushing her to be independent, she wouldn’t be married and divorced with two kids by age 24.”

“Might be time to rethink your priorities.”- mossandsunshine


“This might be an unpopular opinion, and yes, you are 100% entitled to your own space and boundaries, but your daughter is asking for help.”

“She even specified that she wants emotional help.”

“Her husband just admitted to having an affair and is leaving her and upending her life and the lives of their two small children.”

“Her entire world has just been flipped upside down.”

“She now has to readjust her entire life, her kids’ lives, and if their youngest is only 6 months old, do all of it while still in ‘postpartum’ timeframe, which means extra hormones, baby brain, and everything else that comes with having a baby at home.”

“If you want your boundaries, give her a time frame, like, 3-6 months to start sorting herself out.”

“But the way you say you handled this makes you sound heartless.”- Tiffy_the_Doc

“‘She started to cry and said she just needs her mom right now.'”

“And you hold her at arm’s length and just say ‘you’ll be fine’?”

‘What type of mother does that?!”

“You’re disgusting.”

“She just needs her mom, and instead, you act as cold as a government charity to her.”

“YTA.”- CyberAceKina

“This is difficult for me because you are reasonably helping your child out.”

“The problem for me is this is less about them needing a space to live and more about them needing YOU.”

“For all intents and purposes, you are pushing your child away.”

“Any time I needed help like this, my Mother was there to catch me.”

“I live with my Mother right now because she’s in her late 60s, and she was lonely living alone.”

“I still manage to be an independent adult while living with my Mother.”

“I have friends. I go to work, and I often leave to hang with other people.”

“I also drive my Mother around and run errands for her as she needs.”

“As well as stuff like cutting the grass and clearing the snow.”

“I personally feel like you are being heartless. It’s gonna be funny when you need your kids, and they blow you off.”

“YTA.”- Mister-Pee-Pee

“Chilly willy.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen a colder post.”- gthchem

“She needs to go to a lawyer ASAP!”

“He can’t kick her out!”

“She needs child support and spousal support!”

“Forget about everything else right now. She needs a lawyer!”- AKA_June_Monroe

“Yes, you are, YTA.”

“Not for you getting an apartment for her, but for you not letting her in your place just to be with you.”

“Remember that she must be heartbroken. Her ‘husband’ cheated on her after at least five years (since, remember, she left to live with her then-boyfriend).”

“She really needs emotional support right now.”

“It’s really not about the money. It’s about the need to be with you.”

“Furthermore, I’ve read the comments.”

“You said that your daughter coming back to you would be ‘a step backward’ in her independence.”


“She wanted support after being cheated on by her husband of 3 years/boyfriend of at least five years.”

“That’s a perfectly fine reaction from your daughter here.”

“You are being too harsh, and you showed to her as a heartless mom here.”

“Again, YTA.”- LinkForce_1

“Ooof yeah, tough one!”

“I’m going with YTA.”

“Your daughter doesn’t need financial support. She just needs her mom.”

“She said she won’t be putting childcare on you, and she is willing to sign a lease with a definite move-out date and pay rent.”

“You offering to pay for an apartment isn’t the help she needs.”

“She’s just had her heart broken. She needs love, not money.”- Teleporting-Cat


“I’m very different from a lot of Reddit users.”

“I have absolutely no problem with my kids living with me as long as they want to.”

“My husband feels the same.”

“Right now, they’re all in university, and when they graduate, they’ll all have the opportunity to get good-paying jobs.”

“When that happens, they’ll pay room and board and save money to move out.”

“Let’s face it, with houses and rent being so far out of reach for most young adults, they’ll likely be with us for a number of years, and that’s fine.”

“I not only love them, I like them.”

“They’re great company and great conversationalists.”

“My parents were the same with my siblings and me.”

“None of us had problems living on our own independently, and if any of us had a financial crisis and wanted to move back in with our parents, they were fine with it.”

“It always felt so good to know they were always there for us right up till they passed away in their 90s.”

“So, if one of my kids were in crisis, emotionally or physically, I’d have them back with us in a heartbeat if that’s what they needed, including their children, whom I’d love as my own.”

“Again, this is how my parents were with their grandchildren.”

“Not possessive, not interfering, just unconditional love.”

“So maybe it depends on how you’re raised, but I think OP is a rather heartless mom.”- Specialist-Raise-949

If the OP’s daughter had run to her demanding money or asking to live with her permanently, her hesitation would have been a bit more understandable.

But that she was unwilling to give her daughter a shoulder to cry on when her whole world effectively fell apart is shocking, to say the least.

One only hopes after some pause and reflection that the OP changes her mind.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.