One of the first really fun and important decisions a parent gets to make is the name they will give to their child.
But like most big decisions, there will be people who feel entitled to express their opinions on the matter, side-eyed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
While talking to a group of friends, Redditor PrincipleOdd6331 was interested to hear more about how one friend’s pregnancy was going.
When they disclosed the name they had chosen for their baby, the Original Poster (OP) could not keep her opinion to herself.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my friend that their baby’s name sucks?”
The OP recently heard their friend’s choice of baby name.
“Jordan (26 Nonbinary) and I (26 Female) do not mesh incredibly well together, but we are part of the same friend group and are cordial with each other.”
“Note that Jordan is not their birth name. They changed their name in adulthood and picked a common unisex name. This is important to the story later.”
“They are pregnant and just announced the baby’s name to the group… It’s Arsyn Europa.”
“Everyone else told them it was a great name. I’m not sure how many genuinely thought so versus not wanting to rock the boat, but I came right out and said, ‘Please don’t give a human being that name, seriously.'”
The OP’s comment was met with criticism.
“Holy s**t, of course, it blew up into a big thing.”
“And for the record, if this kid had the same name but was already born, I would have just kept my mouth shut about it. I only said it because there’s still time for them to change their mind.”
“I said Arson is already such a stereotypical teenagery nonbinary name, and adding the weird spelling just makes it worse.”
“I pointed out, ‘You’re naming an actual person and should not just treat them like an accessory for yourself, and it’s weird to me that you picked a normal name for yourself and then went so out there for the name of the kid. It’s just not a good name and I can’t pretend otherwise, sorry.'”
The OP received serious pushback for this.
“Apparently, I don’t know what the f**k I’m talking about and it’s not my place to speak on such things.”
“They said I went too far and attacked not just the name but their parenthood itself, and was way out of line.”
“I agree that there was definitely a more ‘Miss Manners’ way of phrasing what I said, but I think it needed to be said… or at least, that I couldn’t possibly have been expected to lie through my teeth that it was a good name.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some agreed with the OP and found her to be overwhelmingly NTA.
“NTA, that’s a terrible name. I don’t know where you live, but I’ve never heard of anyone named after an illegal act of setting things on fire. That’s some real edge lord s**t.” – NationalBanjo
“The inspector at our fire monitoring company has the first name Arsen. Kid you not! Poor guy gets laughed at all the time. NTA.” – coolranchpuffs
“I once had a cashier at Home Depot… with the name of Larceny. Can you imagine the obstacles to getting employed with that name?!?”
“NTA, OP. If it were just another bad name, then you should keep your mouth shut. But we have a ‘crimes and sex fetishes’ exception for speaking up about potential baby names.” – MinervasOwlAtDusk
“Not just the illegal act of setting things on fire. Europa is Latin for Europe. Apparently, Arson is a common Eastern European name.”
“If they are more Western, Jordan is naming their child after the idea of setting a rather prominent content ON FIRE. Content names can work, but dear lord, this will make so many people wary of OP’s kid and OP themselves.” – LeadingJudgment2
“NTA because babies are not property, you can’t just do whatever you want and claim to be above reproach because it’s ‘your decision.'”
“If you name your kid Arsyn, you’re making a s**tty decision, and one that will actually negatively affect another human being.”
“I think naming a baby is one of the first major tests of parenthood. Are you going to treat your child like a canvas that exists for you to express yourself, or are you going to think outside yourself and consider what your offspring might want?”
“Clearly, Jordan failed to consider that their child might not want an outlandish name, just like they didn’t want one for themselves.” – EstherandThyme
“I was named after a ‘Lord of the Rings’ character because my parents thought it would be a good idea to, as you said, turn their child into an outlet for their own self-expression.”
“I legally changed my name to something mundane as soon as I became an adult.”
“If you want to name a living being something goofy, get a dog or a cat, don’t cause your child to endure years of teasing and bullying because you can’t think past your own self-interest.” – PrivetKalashnikov
“I hate the whole ‘younique’ baby name trend. Spelling a name weirdly doesn’t make it cool or unique. And naming a kid ARSON is kind of ridiculous. That’s a terrible name.”
“You could have handled it differently, but at least you were honest.” – OddNastySatisfaction
“Oh god, my English is probably bad, but Arsyn makes me think of purposefully putting something on fire, and combined with Europa, a continent, it sounds like, ‘burn Europe.'”
“You’re probably an AH for saying it. It is her choice and all. But… I’m not giving you the title since I moved to a part of my country where they speak French.”
“My two boys have names that should be pronounced in Dutch and are written in it. We had been planning to travel all along but did not think about the names. Today I had to explain my son’s name for probably the 500th time and I really wish someone had pointed it out…”
“Even though the names are completely ‘normal,’ we should have chosen a more international version, and my eight-year-old plans on changing how his name is written.”
“With a name like Arsyn Europa, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mouth shut either, so I’m giving you an NTA. I’ve been blunt with friends in the past and they’ve either ignited my ‘advise’ or thanked me later…” – Petrake
“Your friend does realize that their child will never be able to write that on documents?”
“I can just imagine the parents calling for Arson Europa at an airport and absolute chaos breaking out. I definitely see them getting tackled by a bomb squad in the future.”
“Also, you are absolutely right about why would they give themselves a normal name and then go and name their child Dumpster Fire.”
“Selfish a** parents. NTA, OP.” – unsolicitedPeanutG
Others pointed out that sometimes being an AH is justified.
“YTA, but sometimes you gotta be an a**hole because ‘Arsyn Europa’? What the f**k?” – Middle_Advisor_5979
“Totally justified AH here… The parent being NB (Nonbinary) has absolutely zero to do with it. That’s a terrible name, and someone has to stop them!”
“The word Ar*e is actually the first thing that jumped out at me… then I was like, ‘Oh wait, it gets worse.'” – Whatshername_Stew
“No win situation. OP is TA for saying it but would also be TA for saying nothing because that is a terrible name.” – d0k37
“I am sorry to say, but when I first read ‘Arsyn,’ I read it as ‘a**e in.’ This kid would be mocked so hard if there are any stupid people like me who would pronounce it that way, like, ‘They have their a**e in Europa, hee hee hee heeeeee.'” – Its_Dot
“ESH. Yeah, you were an AH about it, and if you had to say anything you could have found a much better way to do it.”
“But what kind of AH names their kid after a horrible crime? ‘This is my daughter, Aggravated Assault Wilkins,’ like, what the f**k?” – BigBigBigTree
“It is a truly horrible name to saddle a human being with.”
“If you were asked what you thought of the name, you would not be TA.”
“If you had rephrased what you said when offering your unsolicited opinion, you would not be TA.”
“As it is, by what you described, you are mildly TA, simply for how you phrased your opinion.”
“It never ceases to amaze me that anyone with a dissenting opinion is made to be the villain. They have ‘attacked’ the other person. They are designated someone who hates and/or is against [ fill in the group ], all because you didn’t gush and smile over a name that is awful, terrible, and stupid.” – CAShark-7
The subReddit was thoroughly upset on the future child’s behalf and understood why the OP spoke up. While they could not agree on whether the OP made the right choice or not, they were certain the parent of the child certainly had not.