Whether it’s one of your closest friends or a total stranger, maintaining a good relationship as roommates can be a delicate balance.
On top of both parties making sure that shared spaces remain clean, and groceries are evenly divided, many roommates have wildly different interests and hobbies.
Oftentimes making living together more challenging than it needs to be.
Redditor Key_Deer4632 seemed to have a good living situation with a friend whom she rented out a room to.
Even allowing her to use their back porch for her plants.
However, things became complicated when one of these plants proved dangerous to the original poster (OP)’s cat, leading to an emergency visit to the vet.
Feeling that her roommate was responsible for this, the OP ended up giving her an ultimatum which her roommate felt she didn’t deserve.
Wondering if she was being unfair, the OP took to the subReddit “Would I Be The A**hole” (WIIBTA).
“WIBTA for evicting my roommate because she wouldn’t pay my vet bills?”
The OP explained how after her cat nearly died, she told her roommate she could only keep living with her under one condition.
“I (33 F[emale]) live with my friend Rose (30).”
“It’s my home, but Rose pays me $250 a month.”
“Rose had multiple plants and had them up on our back porch.”
“My cat goes out to the back porch as it is screened in, and consumed some of these flowers and gotten very sick.”
“Turns out one of the plants was Lillies, which are toxic to cats.”
“I took her to the vet immediately, and they told me if I hadn’t, she probably would’ve died.”
“I kindly asked Rose if she would pay for my cat’s vet bills since her flowers caused this, in which she became super offended and refused to say it wasn’t her fault because she didn’t know and that this was an accident.”
“I agreed that it was an accident and that there weren’t any hard feelings, but this was still an accident caused by her, and even if we could split the bill.”
“She again refused and said she wouldn’t pay a dime; it was an accident and my cat.”
“I basically told her if she didn’t at least split the bill with me, she would have to find somewhere else to live.”
“This caused a huge argument, and she said that is completely unfair because she has nowhere to go and that it was an accident.”
“I don’t think it’s unreasonable, I even agreed to split it.”
The OP was left to wonder…
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP received little sympathy or support from the Reddit community, who largely agreed that the OP would indeed be the a**hole for making her roommate pay her vet bills.
Everyone agreed that the cat was the OP’s responsibility, and since neither she nor Rose knew the Lillies were toxic to cats, Rose was under no obligation to pay the vet bills.
“You are the cat owner, and it was your responsibility to verify that any plants your cat had access to were safe.”
“If you had set a rule like ‘Don’t bring Lillies into the home because they’re toxic to cats,’ and your roommate broke it, that would be different.”
“But you didn’t, and the fact that you didn’t even do the most basic of research on if the plants on the porch were safe before allowing your cat access to them is serious negligence on your part.”
“It is very lucky your cat survived.”
“You don’t get to offload that responsibility into your roommate now just because you don’t like dealing with the consequences.”
“On top of that, evicting someone for something like this is extreme and in some places, illegal.”
“She did nothing wrong, and she certainly didn’t break any lease terms – you are simply punishing her for your own negligence.”- sci_fi_bi
“OP, she’s a paying tenant and deserves to use some of the space she pays for.”
“It’s not her job to make sure every plant she gets is cat safe. That’s your responsibility as the pet owner.”
“Going forward, you need to figure out which plants are toxic to your cat and work with your tenant to make them inaccessible to your cat.”
“Imagine your roommate stole some of your food, ate it, had an allergic reaction, and wanted you to pay for her hospital bills.”
“See how ridiculous that sounds?”
“Your roommate does not own your cat.”
“She is not responsible for feeding your cat, taking care of it, or researching what may or may not be toxic to your cat.”
“When we got our dog, I looked up every single plant we had in our yard and immediately pulled out the toxic ones.”
“That is your responsibility as a pet owner.”
“This is 100% on you.”
“Rose doesn’t have a cat; YOU do.”
“It’s your responsibility to make sure anyone living/staying with you isn’t bringing plants in that are poisonous to your cat.”
“You can’t assume other people just know this information when you didn’t even know yourself.”
“Rose has zero responsibility to pay any vet bill, and it would be really lame if you held it against her.”
“If you have anyone to be upset with, it should be yourself.”- Stranger0nReddit
“So you watch her put plants in an area where you know your cat will be and didn’t think to see what kind of plants they are.”
“This is 100% your fault as the owner of the cat.”- thethrowaway212134
There were a few, however, who felt that Rose could have at least done her research and made sure all her plants were safe for cats, with some even agreeing that Rose should pay half the vet bills, even if they still felt the OP should have taken better care of her cat.
“I’m gonna go against the grain here and say ESH.”
“Yeah, it’s your cat, and you are responsible for it.”
“Yes, I think evicting your friend is an overreaction, probably based on how upset you are over your cat.”
“But to be honest, I can’t imagine moving into my FRIEND’S home, knowing they had pets, and not making sure I wasn’t bringing anything that might poison them.”
“It’s definitely your responsibility more than anyone else’s, but Rose seems pretty complacent about your pet.”- NoMoreFruit
“I don’t understand how everyone absolves Rose from being completely ignorant about bringing plants that are harmful to cats.”
“OP is TA for not having a conversation about toxic plants, about going through all plants and discussing safe options (terrarium, no plant is not out of a cat’s reach.) and simply not having dangerous plants in or outside (porch) the house.”
“Rose is the TA for not being a considerate plant owner and communicating what kind of plants she owns – Lillies are very toxic, including the pollen.”
“If two or more people live together, they ALL need to communicate and work together and occasionally make sacrifices to protect those in their home who cannot advocate for their rights, health and safety – no matter if it’s a cat, a hamster or a child.”
“And no matter who it belongs to, that’s just basic human decency.”- Little_Endure
“ESH and I think she should pay half.”
“It’s pretty common knowledge among people that have a lot of house plants that lilies are toxic.”
“Even just touching a Lily and then petting a cat can cause an issue.”
“They clean themselves.”
“It can destroy their kidneys.”
“You, who doesn’t collect plants, likely don’t know what is what or how it interacts, and why would you spend time researching what every plant is and all about it when they’re your roommates?”
“Every spring, I see a ton of posts on social media (not just in plant groups) reminding everyone about all the different pretty things coming out to be wary of if you have pets or children.”
“Lilies are my absolute favorite, but I have a cat, and she likes to nibble leaves, so we do not have them.”
“Same thing at Christmas with poinsettias because I have a cat and kids.”
“I do have two toxic cat plants in my home, and they’re hung from the ceiling out of reach.”
“As a plant keeper, she should be knowledgeable about her plants, and if one hurts a living being, she should take responsibility for it, so she sucks.”
“As a cat owner, you’re automatically responsible for taking care of your car when it gets sick, even if it’s an accident.”
“So demanding full payment makes you suck.”
“Paying half is reasonable.”- empathetic_tomatoes
The situation might be different if the OP had explicitly told Rose what she could and couldn’t put on the back porch for the safety of her cat.
However, seeing that the danger Lillies posed was a discovery they would both make, Rose really can’t be held accountable.
Particularly as Rose didn’t seem the slightest bit upset that the OP’s cat was nibbling at her flowers, which many others likely might have been.