Traveling in a group is often a difficult task to navigate—especially when one person in the group is underage.
A guy on Reddit found himself in this situation while trying to plan a group vacation that included his friends 20-year-old girlfriend.
When drama ensued over the plans, he wasn’t sure how to handle things. So he went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective on his hypothetical “Would I Be the A**hole” (WIBTA) situation.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by Terrible_Mud399 on the site, asked:
“WIBTA for not considering changing the location of a trip to accommodate my friends new girlfriend?”
“I’m a 28 year old guy. I have had the same close friend group since freshman year of college so 10 years now. There’s 5 of us. Every year we like to take at least one trip. Sometimes we do two like we did last year with airfare being so low.”
“This year(technically next) we are planning to go to Austin, Texas in March/April. All of us had heard great things. By the end of November we would like to book the air bnb. We actually decided on Austin back in June, but due to some work schedules and a wedding we will all be attending, we have to plan the trip for the spring.”
“The problem lies with my buddy ‘Craig’. Craig is a great guy and I love him, but he’s always been a little… odd. He doesn’t have great social skills and never does great with women. He’s just kind of an awkward guy but still one of my best friends.”
“So Craig is our age, he turned 28 in April. Well… in September Craig decided to introduce us to the girl he was seeing, because now they made it ‘official’ and are bf and gf.”
“Craig is dating Mary who… is freshly 20 years old. Apparently celebrated her birthday a few weeks before she matched with Craig on an app. I’m sorry I don’t want to be judgmental but.. yikes.”
“It’s awkward because the rest of us feel so weird around her. She’s younger than all of our younger sisters. But like I said Craig is just kinda like that. He hasn’t had a serious gf in many years too.”
“Well for the trip 3 of the guys including myself are bringing our GFs. Craig is now asking that we consider changing the location to somewhere Mary could go. I guess she has a fake ID (good lord why are we with someone who still needs a fake?) but is nervous the bars in Austin might take it.”
“Honestly myself and a couple others are wanting to tell Craig that Mary will have to sit this one out then.”
“He said it’s not fair because other GFs are going and it’s sh*tty to exclude his. I asked him if she even wanted to go or if she’s too nervous about missing her Sigma Kappa philanthropy event (I know, crappy joke).”
“But we think 1. We planned this before they got together and 2. We just shouldn’t have to accommodate for this girl. Like Craig come on this is what you get for dating a girl that young. 3. We all think it’s creepy and just don’t want to be around them.”
“Like I said we have younger sisters years older than her.”
Redditors were then asked to judge who would be in the wrong in this scenario based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
They were pretty firmly on OP’s side on this one.
“NTA – if you’re not old enough to drink, tough sh*t. Bring a fake ID, don’t bring one, who cares. It’s HER decision if she wants to go or not. Tell friend to just let you know. It’s their/her responsibility, not the rest of you. Tough cookies, in my opinion.” –HobbitQueen8
“Ahh… NTA I’d be direct that you are uncomfortable instead of making immature jokes that are going to offend him without getting your point across.”
“I am not a fan of age gap relationships, I find them creepy. She’s not even drinking age. That being said, you can decide to express that part or you can decide not to.”
“Either way you still have the right to say you are uncomfortable bringing someone below that age, there is difficulty altering the plans because of it, and it simply isn’t going to work out.”
“Understand if he is the only single dude, he is going to feel uncomfortable going, and slighted. It’s simply a tough pill to swallow. That’s the price he pays for his young gf.” –explicitlinguini
“NTA…why on earth should you all rearrange your vacation so his underage girlfriend can drink? Not to mention that most well-adjusted people in their late 20s don’t have very much in common with someone fully ensconced in undergrad life, which it sounds like she is.”
“If he wants to date a college kid, he shouldn’t be surprised his friends aren’t bending over backwards to accommodate that choice.” –suffragette_citizen
“NTA. Does Craig expect that no one will go to a bar or club on a group vacation, no matter where they go? Even if they change the location, there’s a pretty strong chance that people over 21 will want to go to places that serve alcohol. Craig can’t expect everyone to change his plans because his gf is so young.”
“And the age gap. . . yikes.” –RuthBourbon
“NTA. The other gfs are coming because they can and will. No one is making any special accommodations for them. If Craig wants to go on a vacation with his charge, he can either drop out of the trip and take her to Legoland, or still go on the trip and take her to Chuck E Cheese later.” –Catfiche1970
“NTA. Presumably no matter where you go you will want to go out to bars and such to enjoy yourselves. Craig needs to understand that when he dates someone that young it’s going to come with exclusions as to what they can do. This is one of those times. Seems to me she could still come, just cant go out with everyone at night.” –ShmamBo8
Hopefully OP can find a solution to this conundrum.