Having a roommate can be hard, but when that roommate also has gross habits, it can feel impossible.
And a gross house definitely doesn’t feel like home, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Euphoric-Ad250 recently discovered some gross details about his roommate’s personal hygiene habits.
When he tried to talk to him about it, the Original Poster (OP) was surprised to hear his roommate to make homophobic comments about him.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for criticizing my roommate’s grooming habits harshly?”
The OP was struggling to deal with his roommate’s body odor.
“I (26 Male) currently live in a rented apartment with my roommate (24 Male). Recently we’ve been running into some issues because of his grooming.”
“I occasionally noticed a funk coming off of him, and a few times it got bad enough to ask him to take a shower because it was distracting me and grossing me out.”
“He apologized and said he had a lessened sense of smell, which made him less likely to realize he needed a shower.”
“That sounded kind of like bulls**t to me, but he showered, so I didn’t think anything of it.”
The OP recently discovered the truth.
“Our apartment has two full bathrooms in the hallway, and I ordered a bidet for mine.”
“The other day, I was installing it, and he happened upon me doing so. He asked what it was for, and I explained.”
“He chuckled and said, ‘You gay guys are something else.'”
“I laughed and said, ‘It’s less invasive than toilet paper and more effective!'”
“He laughed and said, ‘Yeah, but I don’t use that, either!'”
“Something clicked in my head, and I asked him for clarification.”
“Apparently, he never wipes. He says he thinks it’s gross to ‘rub [his] a** with a piece of paper that doesn’t really do anything.’ He said no straight guy does, and it’s not a big deal.”
“I asked what he does if he eats Taco Bell or something, and he said he just takes a shower.”
“I asked, what if he was in a public bathroom? He says he waits until he gets home.”
“I then asked if he washes his butt in the shower, and he said that the soap from his back drips down and takes care of it.”
The OP had to speak up about this.
“At this point, I was basically gagging and told him he can’t sit on any of the furniture I pay for (which is most of it) until he wipes and washes his crusty a**.”
“He got mad and said the only reason I cared was that I get f**ked in mine, to which I responded that I’m a top.”
“He got pissy and left after this, and I haven’t seen him since.”
“I called his girlfriend to ask if she has heard from him, and she said he came over, explained the situation, she got grossed out, and he left her place.”
“I feel kinda bad for not viewing this as a ‘he doesn’t know the right way’ situation rather than the more antagonistic turn it took.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were thoroughly grossed out.
“YTA for making me read this and question my faith in humanity.”
“NTA, though. Get a new roommate, hire a biohazard team to come in, set the place on fire, and report a complaint to the Geneva convention.” – Livid_Rip8609
“This dude’s super nasty. I’m f**king gagging. Why does he think straight men don’t wipe their a**es? How nasty is his laundry???” – infiniZii
“NTA, ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. I’d also be careful of using the same laundry machine as him. Dude needs a reality check.” – PlateNo7021
“I have met four people who have had similar hygiene issues as what OP described. I ended up firing one of them because of it. All four had significant others. Blows my mind.” – HomerJSimpson3
“NTA. Not showering or wiping is gross. You did the man a solid.” – PlataMuerta
Others completely understood the OP’s reaction to this discovery.
“It’s been a while since I dated anybody, and I’m seriously considering adding, ‘How often do you wash your a**?’ to my list of getting-to-know-you questions for the first few dates. Because if that answer is not something equivalent to ‘very, very often,’ we are not going to get to the clothes off portion of this.” – readthethings13579
“NTA. People who don’t wipe their a** deserve to feel the embarrassment of that. Similar post the other day that I am still gagging over.” – Longjumping-Cat-712
“He definitely doesn’t have a ‘lessened sense of smell.’ He just thinks he does because he’s gotten used to a base layer of poop smell following him everywhere, so he doesn’t understand when people say he smells.” – harmcharm77
“NTA, this is gross and funny as f**k, and your response is hilarious and justified. That fragile masculinity really hits him so hard it doesn’t bother you at all despite being projected so badly on your business. He’s disgusting and unhygienic, so what you did right there was right.” – Jiggly_puffybutt
“EW. You need to buy a washing machine cleaner! It works a lot like detergent. It’s like $10 at Target for a 4-pack. It will sterilize the machine, so you don’t have to worry about errant turds. I used them when I lived in an apartment with dudes.”
“Just run an empty hot wash. Nothing nasty is surviving a 60 or 90 C wash. Don’t need a special cleaner. You should do a hot wash regularly anyway to keep your machine clean, as well as wipe round any seals, clean the filter, etc.”
“What I would clean thoroughly is the contact points in your house. If he doesn’t wipe, he doesn’t wash his hands regularly either.”
“Sorry, you’re living with such a nasty-@ss individual. I have a friend with no sense of smell. He washes on a regular routine no matter what he’s been doing just in case there’s a surprising funk going on, and he can’t tell.”
“He told me this when I commented on how he always smelled great. It’s not complicated to deal with. Your roommate is just nasty and a homophobe into the bargain. What does a bidet have to do with being gay?” – MakeTheYuletide_Gay
“If he’s made other fabrics stinky, like the couch, towels, etc., then try soaking them in the bathtub a mixture of water and vinegar, then wash them like normal. The vinegar will help break up any of the gunk that’s clinging to the fabric.”
“To clean the couch cushions, simply wrap the lid of a cooking pot in a hand towel that’s been soaked in water and cleaning fluid. It will need to dry before the vinegar smell goes away… but you’ll have a less poopy house as a result!” – itsjustmo_
Some also found the OP’s roommate to be incredibly homophobic.
“I grew up deeply immersed in the, ‘I can’t do [x] because people will think I’m gay,’ strain of toxic masculinity (it was the ’80s), and even I have never heard anything like this.”
“I swear some men must actively think up new ways to make masculinity more toxic.” – Trini1113
“‘No straight guys do.’ Really? Worst appeal to the masses ever. My (Female) roommate (straight Male) and I had to negotiate about what kind of toilet paper to buy because he cared so much.”
“NTA.” – Katressl
“I have been hearing about this whole issue of hetero guys not washing their a** for fear of it being ‘gay’ for some years now. I just have to cling to the belief that this is largely internet nonsense that is said to shock people.”
“I mean, it has to be, right? Right???” – BeautifulCucumber
“That’s appalling and horribly homophobic in an era I was hoping we’d be more enlightened. Instead, we clearly seem to be regressing at an alarming rate.” – toebeantuesday
“OP is gay (he mentions it in the post), and the roommate knows this. The roommate goes homophobic after OP criticizes his hygiene habits. So homophobia as a defense against criticism is the way the roommate handles this.”
“These guys who think actively cleaning their butt is ‘gay’ are like Q-Anon folk. Absolutely weird, believing strange stuff.” – CymraegAmerican
“There is nothing masculine about completely neglecting your personal hygiene and using a homophobic slur to justify it. That is just a s**tty person exhibiting toxic behavior. Has nothing to do with masculinity.” – jimvinny
“Totally homophobic. The fact that he’s using OP’s butthole as a way to avoid taking responsibility for his own crusty a** makes me wonder if he is secretly afraid of gay people and is intentionally gross to ward them off.”
“Obviously, I’m speculating, but I remember some family members in the military freaking out about ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’ because they thought they were suddenly going to have issues in the shower.” – Floating-Cynic
“Uh, yeah, he’s homophobic. He may not be super homophobic, but he’s absolutely got biases and beliefs he’s holding on to. No one is so afraid of becoming Gay that they won’t wash their a** without having homophobic beliefs.”
“This is kind of like, ‘I can’t be sexist, I’m married to a woman,’ or ‘I can’t be racist, my friend is Black.'” – RivSilver
The subReddit was beyond grossed out, first by the OP’s story and then by the roommate’s homophobic tendencies regarding his personal hygiene. The OP either needed to find a new roommate or seriously step up his cleaning schedule at home to avoid being impacted by his roommate’s behavior.