In this day and age elective surgery seems more and more ordinary.
People have everything altered a tad.
But there are still some people who don’t agree with that decision.
Which can lead to some drama in personal relationships.
Case in point…
Redditor MaxineLu7 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not disclosing I had plastic surgery to my boyfriend?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (26 F[emale]) have been dating Max (25 M[ale]) for 4 months.”
“When I was 22, I had a nose job as I broke my nose twice as a kid and it left it with a large bump.”
“Then, at 23, I had a breast augmentation that bumped me up two cup sizes.”
“These were life long insecurities that I was bullied over, and it was really relieving to get them done.”
“Onto the present, I met Max through a friend and things have been great.”
“Last night, I was strolling through my social media while on the sofa with him. I stopped on an old classmates vacation photo, where she wore a bikini and frankly, had very obvious implants.”
“She looks great, happy for her! But you can tell.”
“Max glanced over at that moment and said ‘Gross.'”
“I asked him what the deal was, and he said women who get implants or other surgeries are a huge turn off to most guys, and how men prefer natural over two balloons and how insecure she looks.”
“I couldn’t help but laugh and said ‘So you’re turned off by me?'”
“He got very confused and asked what I meant.”
“I informed him I had procedures done before.”
“He kept denying it and saying I was joking until I showed him old photos of me.”
“He got quiet and left shortly after.”
“I got a text saying I should’ve disclosed this on the first date, how I led him on and that he needs to reconsider things.”
“It’s the next day. Haven’t heard anything, I’m bewildered.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“His expectations of disclosure on a first date are ridiculous.”
“You have a right to privacy and he doesn’t get to judge you by your choices until he knows you better.”
“He basically said he probably wouldn’t be interested if he had known but, now that he’s thought it over, he can live with it.”
“Good for you for not accepting his judgment and ruining his fantasy that he was in charge of the relationship.”
“I never heard an apology, just that he’s able to ‘overcome’ your ‘lies.'”
“You dodged a bullet on this one because you nor your feelings mattered, just your body. NTA.” ~ babcock27
“NTA and I’m glad OP has seen this person for who he is before she wasted any more time on him.” ~ Here_for_tea_
“I have never had breast surgery but if I ever do, it’s because they are sagging so low, I’m going to start tripping on them soon! LOL.”
“The surgery would be for me.”
“I don’t care what any man thinks, one way or another.”
“They are my breasts. Not theirs.”
“Not an A**hole OP. I’m Glad you dumped him.”
“You deserve better.” ~ SaintOlgasSunflowers
“NTA. His reaction and comment that you ‘should’ve disclosed this on the first date’ makes him childish.” ~ tauntingmountain
“NTA – Have you seen Nicole Tersigni’s Men to Avoid in Art and Life?”
“She has taken a number of paintings and captioned them with sayings like, ‘You should smile more,’ and ‘Let me explain your life to you.'”
“And ‘I know that you have a PhD in the subject, but according to this Wikipedia article that I briefly perused,’ and ‘When I said that you could lose a few pounds, I was only thinking of your health.'” ~ NobodyButMyShadow
“And for the record, you do NOT have to disclose any part of your medical history (including any plastic surgeries) on future first dates.”
“It’s pretty intimate information, so waiting until you’re a few months into a new relationship is totally normal.”
“If you waited like a year, someone might feel hurt that you didn’t trust them enough to disclose sooner.”
“But four months is a totally healthy, normal amount of time to wait to disclose something so personal to a new partner.” ~ Kathrynlena
“It’s a very personal decision and you should only tell people if you want to and are comfortable doing so.”
“He’s a shallow a**hole, and I was happy to see your comment about probably not continuing the relationship. NTA.” ~ Palindromer101
“Every serious relationship I have ever been in has gone through an information dump phase where we’re both eager to let the other person know who we are and intensely curious about each other’s past.”
“When a new boyfriend is telling you about his first serious relationship, or the first important person in his life who died, or the time he was in a car accident, that might be the time to tell him about your nose being broken and subsequent nose job.”
“That is how I would work the timing, not a first date. NTA.” ~ No_Jicama_5828
“I’ve had a breast reduction.”
“If someone finds out, it’s because we’re naked.”
“Not once has any man asked why didn’t I disclose the fact my breasts used to be larger. NTA.” ~ PittieLover1
“I met my husband 6 weeks after my reduction.”
“I was very open about it and he knew through other people when he met me.”
“I threw myself a big ‘bye bye boobie’ party!”
“So when we eventually started getting physical I was still wearing a sports bra 24/7 and he literally didn’t see my boobs for the first several times we had sex.”
“I was pretty self conscious about my scars, which were still very fresh and scary, but he was totally cool… said he didn’t care about it.”
“And that he was excited for whenever I was comfortable enough to show him.”
“That’s how you know a guy is a keeper!!!” ~ Eyyys
“I knew my husband pre-reduction loooong before we started dating (we were coworkers in the same retail store).”
“We started dating about a year and a half after my reduction.”
“When he realized I’d got it done he just jokingly said ‘aw man, I didn’t even get to experience your huge ones!'”
“Now he says he’s happy they’re ‘Just the right size to hold in his hand.'” ~ chunkeymunkeyandrunt
“NTA – B[oy]F[riend] had a very black/white version of how the world is and you just showed him that there is gray.”
“He should have disclosed that he was a closed minded a** on your first date.”
“Bullet dodged – your ex is incapable of compromise, and you know that now – move on.” ~ MsJamieFast
“NTA. It certainly wasn’t his business on your first date.”
“I’m assuming he’s seen your boobs by now, and if he hasn’t noticed, I don’t know why he cares that much.” ~ lady_rain_was_here
“NTA. You sprung it on him when he was trying to act like women with implants turn him off.”
“Most guys like pretty noses and large breasts whether or not surgery was involved, which is why so much cosmetic surgery is paid for by husbands and boyfriends.”
“He’s licking his wounds.” ~ Defiant-Currency-518
“NTA. How long of a list of corrections does Max expect on a first date?”
“Braces? Contacts? Lotion to make your skin smooth?”
“Does he need to know what makeup a date uses so he’s aware of what’s real and what’s not?”
“What about hair color and perm/straightening?”
“A list of where you shave so you don’t lead him on about where you grow body hair?”
“Max is an idiot and you’ve had a lucky dodge if this is how shallow he is.” ~ Sodonewithidiots
OP came back with deets and updates…
“Alright y’all, I got a text from him a few minutes ago asking to meet up, as he thinks he wants to continue the relationship and wants to talk things over.”
“After all these comments and some thinking, I sent back along the lines of his reaction made me realize he’s not the partner I’m looking for.”
“And that I’ve decided to not continue our relationship.”
“So yeah, I’m single now, kind of confused if I should mention this to future dates before were official to weed out any more like him?”
“How do you even bring this up?”
“Oh well, I like me, I’m content with my natural and unnatural parts, and I’ll find someone who doesn’t have huge hang ups on plastic surgery.”
“Update 2…”
“I just woke up and there’s no way I can reply to all the comments I got overnight, but thank you to everybody for your opinions and thank you to everyone who’s wishing me well!”
“I am sad, we had plenty of good times in those 4 months and I was hopeful about this one, but I’ll be alright.”
“Time for a few self-dates to cheer myself up.”
“He finally replied to my text: ‘I was hopeful we could start over on an honest beginning.'”
“‘But I guess only one of us is mature enough to look past each other’s shortcomings in the relationship.'”
“‘I’m glad you revealed this about yourself before I got too involved.'”
“‘Goodbye, good luck finding someone, cause no real man would respect someone who can’t even respect their own body.'”
“Wow. I was comfortable with my decision before but now I’m extra comfortable lmfao.”
“Blocked and bye.”
“He never deserved this limited edition set.”
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
It’s your body, your story.
Sounds like you have it all under control.
Good luck going forward.