Capitalism has really taken the “darkest timeline” approach for most of our workplaces. Bosses want to be in charge of every second of us being on the clock, and some will resort to crazy tactics to intimidate us.
Reddit user Bipolar-Gamer found himself at the mercy of one such boss, who decided that he couldn’t be trusted to go to the bathroom alone.
Confused if he did something wrong by setting a firm boundary, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for some feedback.
He asked:
“AITA For refusing to let me boss inspect my bathroom usage?”
Our original poster, or OP, talked us through the bizarre series of events that lead him to being followed by his boss into the bathroom.
“This is part of a long series of events so I need to start at the beginning. What I do isn’t really important; all I can say is that I have trouble with a coworker—often this person has a habit of trying to boss many of us around.”
“Mind you we have totally different positions and jobs but our standing is equal—we’re both bottom of the totem pole.”
“So I refuse to take orders from them. Well my boss, the one at the top for reasons unknown, tried to protect them and has been trying to find an excuse to fire me.”
“Last week my boss blamed me for a clog in the bathroom. He claims he watched cameras for 5 hours and I was the only person to use that bathroom; a claim I know is a total lie.”
“He claims I must have made the clog. Well today, my stomach was obviously upset and I (as I often do) used the restroom on my break.”
Well, then the unthinkable happened.
“He saw me enter. I was in said restroom for about 10 minutes and he came in and stood in the restroom for about 8.”
“I know it was him because I peeked under the stall when I noticed who came in did not leave. His shoes were easily recognizable to me.”
“After I finished my business and turned around to flush he approached my stall door and demanded I let him in before flushing after I was decent. I refused.”
OP understandably kept his boss at bay.
“He said he needs to ‘inspect my droppings’ (his exact words) to compare them to the clog from last week. I immediately flushed them and told him I would not allow such an invasion of my privacy, called him on his obvious harassment and said I would be going to HR.”
“He is now trying to write me up for refusing to cooperate. My friends and family as well as a few coworkers insist my behavior was wrong and only makes me look guilty and have admitted they wouldn’t blame him for firing me for my ‘Obvious guilt’.”
“Was I in the wrong here?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors agreed this was WAY out of line for OP’s boss.
“That was my first thought!! WTH is OP’s Boss trying to prove?! That he/she has a stalker/toilet fantasy to fulfill? WTAF?”
“OP go to HR and send them an email ASAP! Copy your boss on it, and ask them to stop following you to the toilet and monitoring your bathroom activities for 5 hours.”
“Include that this makes your workplace very uncomfortable because of the harassment.”
“In addition, log all dates, times, witnesses and details surrounding ALL harassment occurrences into an excel document at your HOME computer and email copies to yourself. Do NOT put it in your work computer!”~Living_On_A_Prayer
“NTA and I would go to HR immediately with a complaint. A boss barging into a bathroom and demanding to ‘inspect your droppings’ is inappropriate on so many levels.”
“I’ve had micromanaging bosses before, but neither ever inspected my sh*t.”~orangecookiez
“Send an email to them. So there’s a digital log and request a fact to face meeting as soon as they’re back!! This is NOT okay.”
“I work in HR and would be horrified to hear such a thing happening in my company. Your boss had some serious issues here.”
“Also what’s up with your friends/family/coworkers insisting your behaviour was wrong?? There is no obvious guilt here!! There’s no rule that says you can’t sh*t or clog the toilet at work. Definitely NTA OP.”~melzo13
“NTA and what kind of friends and family do you have? They really said you were in the wrong for this situation?”
“In what world is it okay for someone to inspect your droppings unless it’s a doctor you are seeing that has that kind of specialty…?”~GoBlue9000
Also, this is weird, and gross.
“NTA. This is so far beyond any reach of appropriate behavior that HR needs to know about it right away.”
“If they really do have cameras that cover the restroom entrance ask them to check that footage to confirm his presence in the bathroom.”
“That following you in and waiting outside your stall is harassment by itself.”~Revo63
“Definitely NTA. Ah, poorly regulated capitalism. And the wage slaves who defend it. You’re completely in the right and anyone who says you’re wrong is delusional beyond belief.”
“People are indoctrinated to hell and back to be doormats for their bosses and supervisors.”
“You deserve rights, you deserve to be respected, you deserve to have certain freedoms.”
“I wish more people could realise that, it’s not ‘hard work’ when you aren’t being properly compensated and you’re treated like a nuisance, it’s exploitation.”
“I’m so sorry this bullsh*t is happening to you. Unbelievable.”~Zkyaiee
“NTA. Your boss is insane. I’d coyly mention to your boss how any loss of employment will result in an in-depth review on Glassdoor informing the world about how working there requires having other people listen while you’re on the toilet and then inspect your sh*t.”
“Go to HR immediately. I’m pretty sure what he’s doing is illegal, so he may have just given you major security in the form of blackmail material.”
“Also, inform the friends and family who chastised you that they are idiots.”~MysteriousDingle
“NTA. Huuuuge violation of privacy. You could sue the everliving sh*t out of him. Pun not intended.”
“All that aside, how in the world would he justify firing you over a clogged toilet? Unless he can prove you’re somehow doing it maliciously, he has no grounds to fire you. What an absolute weirdo.”~kitp88
Also also, what support from corporate did OP’s boss think he was going to get?
“NTA. This guy stalks you into the bathroom, demands a picture of your poop and your friends think you are the bad guy here?”
“Isn’t the proof that you didn’t cause the clog the fact that you were able to flush?”
“He either needs to lose his job for being an unhinged creep or given other responsibilities.”
“I can’t imagine monitoring your employee’s bathroom output is one of the critical tasks he’s been assigned by management.”~cassowary32
“NTA. Email HR to have it on record and then talk to them in person after they return. You need to have date and time documentation for stuff like this so write down every thing you can remember.”
“Your boss already has their version of events in. In NO WAY is it okay for your boss to invade your privacy like this!!!!”
“I don’t foresee this ending well though, they seem very dedicated to being unreasonable. They will figure out some way to fire you so start looking for something ASAP”~Cuteanimalsmakemecry
“NTA. Is your boss a feces connoisseur? What was he going to do measure length and girth of and compare turds in his poo notebook?”
“Take a DNA sample? Email your HR if you can’t immediately get to them. This is so beyond inappropriate it’s bizarre.”~APotatoPancake
“NTA. Get him to send you an email requesting his demand and stating his reasons.”
“You can do it by sending him one in the lines of ‘ok, you’re saying I refuse to comply to so and so and requested to monitor my toilet usage because of this and I’d like to know what consequences I’d be facing if I refuse.'”
“Forward it to HR because now you have proof. This is a serious violation and ILLEGAL.”~mcppcm
This is a weird and gross violation of privacy. All of Reddit agrees OP’s boss doesn’t have any sort of support from the law.
And nobody wants someone following them around demanding poop inspections.