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Woman Calls Out Spouse For Refusing To Buy Waygu Steak For Her Non-Foodie Parents When They Visit

Cooking steak in a frying pan.
Duc Viet Pham / EyeEm/Getty Images

One’s taste in food is a very personal, often polarizing issue.

Some people are eager and determined to try as many different types of food as they can, the more exotic and unusual the ingredients, the better.

Others prefer to play it safe and stick to their old, reliable favorites, preferring food with plenty of salt, otherwise light on the seasoning.

The parents of Redditor Late-Enthusiasm3751 were devoted foodies, while his wife’s parents were just the opposite.

Having come to learn this, the original poster (OP) came up with a solution when it came to cooking for each set of parents when they came to visit.

A solution that infuriated his wife, who accused him of being unfair to her parents.

Wondering if she was right, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA).

He asked:

“AITA for buying lower grade steaks when my in-laws visit and serving my mom and dad Wagyu.”

The OP explained why his different grocery lists for when his parents came to visit versus when his in-laws came to visit did not sit well with his wife.

“My wife and I live far away from both of our sets of parents.”

“We visit them a couple of times a year, and they visit us about the same.”

“My mom and dad love food.”

‘They will buy pounds of garlic and leave it in a rice maker for a month to make black garlic.”

“They plan their vacations around amazing restaurants.”

“My in-laws are lovely people, but boiling chicken drumsticks is fancy for them.”

“And they refuse to eat steak that isn’t well done.”

“I discovered this the first time I went to their home for dinner.”

“I wasn’t even asked how I like my steak.”

“Everyone got a well-done steak.”

“It took me years to convince my wife to try a medium rare steak.”

“Now she loves them.”

“I bought some beautiful prime steak for them when they came over when we moved in together.”

“I made theirs medium well, and I died a little inside.”

“Her dad took it back to the grill and destroyed them.”

“So now I buy Select grade meat.”

“I’ve been buying some excellent quality Wagyu for when my parents visit.”

“Not every single time.”

“Maybe once a year.”

“My wife says I’m being an a**hole by not treating both families the same.”

“I don’t think I should waste money on great food for them when I know how they will treat it.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

While the Reddit community was somewhat divided, they generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for buying lower-quality meat for his in-laws.

Most people felt that as his parents clearly didn’t have any care or appreciation for food, then the OP was right in saving a few dollars when it came to what he served them.


“But perhaps you can think of something else your in-laws would appreciate a splurge on – drinks, desserts, or even an experience that would be meaningful to them (and, more importantly, make your wife feel heard, validated, and like her family is important to you).”- catsndogspls

“I might get downvoted, but honestly, I do not see the point in paying for really expensive steak for someone who is going to want it served as burnt offerings.”

“They certainly won’t understand the difference.”

“NTA.”- OverRice2524


“A burned hunk of select steak tastes the same as a burned hunk of Wagyu, this is a financial decision based on the tastes of your guests.”- Cheftyler1980

“I think NTA not because of the well-done steak thing.”

“I agree, but I also think people should cook their food however they want, but because you said your in-laws aren’t really food people.”

“So it’s not about being snobby. It’s about not spending the money on something they won’t appreciate.”

“However, I would caution/advise that you do spend that money on something they WILL appreciate and make sure you’re treating them equally overall.”- APlantNamedEarl


“If they don’t appreciate a good steak, then they can eat a basic steak. Sounds like my in-laws, the steak will look like a piece of beef jerky.”- Serious-Day5968


“I was one of the well-done steak eaters, once upon a time.”

“Eat mine medium now.”

“I would probably go rarer if my husband made Wagyu steaks for me.”

“Don’t waste money on people who aren’t foodies.”

“They aren’t going to appreciate it.”- Pand0ra30_


“This is an absurd demand from your wife.”

“Are you otherwise a good host to them?”

“Do you offer them something to drink?”

“Do you make them feel welcome?”

“Do you serve other things (snacks, apps, sides) that are quality?”

“Then you’re doing fine by them.”

“I guess if you serve them Kraft Mac and carlo rossi to go with their steak, maybe I would start to waver a bit.”- Renzology026

However, while they could see where the OP was coming from, others felt that his wife’s anger was somewhat justified, and he could have shown his appreciation for his in-laws a bit better than he did.


“Stop having steak with your in-laws.”

“You can’t feed them Waygu (and I understand why), but your wife can’t accept you being snobby about meat and giving her parents meat you know is lower quality on purpose.”

“She’s right. It’s disrespectful to serve food you see as insulting.”

“So rather than fighting about it until the end of time, understand that -steak is not an in-law meal- and find one that you can make with ingredients you respect and that they will enjoy.”

“I don’t drink wine.”

“Fermented grapes taste bad to me.”

“My husband and his family drink wine, study wine, and are careful with wine selections.”

“It’s absolutely wasted on me.”

“They don’t make sure to serve me sh*tty wine. They make sure the freezer has my favorite upscale vodka in it.”

“They’re not wrong that wine has lots of nuances and finding good wines is fun.”

“I’m not wrong that I find wine basically undrinkable.”

“You’re only an AH if you demand that someone wins the steak fight instead of putting all of that energy into finding another showpiece meal you can all enjoy each other’s company over.”

“And invite me over for steak. We will have a blast.”- KindCompetence


“Your wife is being silly.”

“If she wants to feed her parents destroyed wagyu, as long as she works, let her buy it.”

“Otherwise, start grilling chicken, or make a turkey or a ham – stuff reserved for holidays and celebrations.”

“That way, they feel special, and you don’t waste quality steaks that someone else would appreciate more.”

“It’s not about equality. It’s literally a waste to feed those people specialty foods.”-TheSarcasmChasm

“What you do is alright.”

“Instead of buying them an expensive steak then buy them lower grade steaks.”- vtzenov

‘I wish there was a ‘this is dumb’ voting option because this is dumb.”

“There are a million other dinners to serve.”

“If you don’t want to eat shingle-quality London broil or whatever the f*ck it is they eat, then make something else.”

“I guess I vote ESH because this is all so dumb.”- MizLucinda

“I remember some weeks ago an AITA post where OP asked an in-law not to put ketchup on an Italian dish that he cooked because it would ruin it, and people ROASTED the poor OP telling him to let people eat the food the way they want it.”

“But apparently, spending a lot of money for an Italian homemade dinner isn’t as important as a piece of steak.”

“Oh, the hypotenuse of reddit.’

“I just think that NAH because you can spend your money as you want and don’t really see the point giving your in-laws something that they don’t really enjoy, but a well-done steak is still an amazing juicy flavored steak.”

“In my country (top 3 meat exporter), there’s no way someone will eat meat that’s not well done.”- GanzGenauFrau

Others, however, firmly took the side of the OP’s wife and agreed that he wasn’t even trying to take their taste in food into consideration.

“OP YTA for serving your in-laws something YOU like, and forcing your own taste in a snobbish way, then treating them like low-quality people for having their own taste.”

“Serve them something they enjoy and the way they like it.”

“OP complains they didn’t even ask him how he likes his steak, but then does to them exactly the same, but intentionally the way they don’t like?”

“I don’t get it with Americans and their steak supremacy complex.”

“People and preferences will always be different.”

“If the steak leaks blood, no thanks.”

“Why don’t you go and eat straight from the cow, extra rare.”- Accomplished-Shoe543

If the OP’s in-laws weren’t going to appreciate a good Wagyu steak, then he shouldn’t serve it to them.

Though perhaps lower-grade meat wasn’t the answer, and instead, for their next visit, he prepares them something he knows they would love, just the way they like it.

After all, plenty of people prefer a well-done steak.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.