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Woman Feels Guilty After ‘Freaking Out’ On Male Coworker Who Bought Her Pads In Anticipation Of Her Period

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We all want to be there for our friends.

As well as people who we’d like to become better friends with.

This often leads us to make gestures, big or small, in hopes of pleasing them and showing that we care.

Though sometimes what we might consider a thoughtful gesture might be misconstrued, resulting in it not going over like we hoped.

A recent Redditor had a colleague who seemed to want to get to know her better, and at the beginning, they seemed to be hitting it off.

Until this colleague presented the original poster (OP) with a gift she found more unsettling than she did generous.

Concerned about her reaction, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for freaking out when my male coworker brought me pads for my period?”

The OP explained how her colleague gave her a gift at the end of work which she found to be a little too thoughtful.

“I will keep it short.”

“I work as a waitress in a restaurant with a bunch of other people including the co-worker I’m talking about.”

“Let’s call him Josh.”

“Now Josh was always a very sweet guy to me, not going to lie.”

“Although I don’t consider him exactly a friend yet, I’m relatively new to this job, we hang out often, but I’m not sure that what he did was right this time, or maybe I’m just over-reacting?”

“I don’t know.”

“What happened is when my shift was over, he called me to meet him before I get off and left, he told me that he knows that my period is very soon, how very physically exhausting it is for me, because he noticed that I get gut-wrenching aches sometimes, and I don’t have a boyfriend anymore and I don’t get paid enough so he brought me pads, chocolate and mac & cheese.”

“I was puzzled because how could he know when my period would come, he said that he asked my female friend, who’s also our co-worker, who told him that I told her that my menstrual cycle is constant, and she helped him know when and how physically hard it is on my body and some bunch of other stuff about me.”

‘She and I are very close and sometimes we talk about this, so I believed him when he said that she told him.”

“I kind of freaked out, I put the bag on the table where he can see it and I left as quickly as I can.”

“It’s been several hours after this and I’m kind of ghosting him at the moment, but I don’t know if this decision is right.”

“I just, this didn’t happen to me before, did I overreact?”

“I told my friend what happened, and she said that I might have overreacted because what he did was thoughtful.”

“I need some time to sort out these feelings though.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for reacting the way she did to her colleague’s gift,

Everyone agreed that the OP’s colleague was being beyond presumptuous, and the OP had every right to be unsettled by a male colleague bringing her menstrual products, with some saying the OP should report his behavior, and others calling out her female colleague for sharing her private information.

“If I were you, I’d be mad at the female coworker for talking about your cycle.”

“I wouldn’t trust her or tell her much again.”

“NTA.”- juicydreamer


“VERY sweet intentions, hopefully, but asking your female coworker about your menstrual cycle is creepy AF.”

“And wtf your female coworker telling him?!”- Waury

“OPs friend: ‘what he did was thoughtful’.”

:Everyone: ‘a little too thoughtful…'”

“NTA.”- Boricua_x


“A random colleague is tracking your menstrual cycle.”

“Sis, that’s weird as f*ck.”

“I’d be super creeped out for sure.”

“Being generous he’s got some deep issues about knowing what’s socially acceptable or not.”- CrystalQueen3000


“That’s pretty creepy.”

“I thought it was going to be something like, your cycle started at work and you were ‘caught short’ and he grabbed some on his break.”

“But asking friends about your cycles?”

“No, just no.”

“Who actually does that and thinks it’s normal?”- BlackWidow21968


“The guy is a creep but can we please talk about the friend?”

“Who is casually giving the details of someone’s menstrual cycle to literally anyone?”

“That’s so fucked that she just let this dude know you so personally, weirdo behavior.”-throwRAhelp331

“NTA, it does sound like he is trying to be helpful though.”

“In a VERY creepy way, I’d advise to have a conversation about boundaries with BOTH of your coworkers.”-Suspicious_Health858


“That is off putting to say the least.”

“You don’t have a boyfriend to do these things for you so he’s taken over that job?”

“That feels like some pretty extreme boundary crossing for a coworker to take on that role!”

“Also, it’s weird that he would think a woman needs a man to take care of these things.”

“Almost infantilizing?”

“I would take this seriously and report it to a manager, OP.”- Ill_Antelope9775

“NTA at all.”

“Guy here.”

“Even ignoring the ‘period’ aspect entirely, he’s clearly asking for personal information so he can manipulate you into dating him, as the whole ‘now that you don’t have a boyfriend’ implies.”

“His intent is to seem like a ‘nice guy’ that you would want to date yes, but he isn’t being nice to be nice, he would have left them anonymously or asked your friend to give them to you if it was just to be nice.”

“He wants credit for ‘being thoughtful’ while disregarding your boundaries and comfort to get what he wants.”

“I’ve bought pads for female friends before WHEN THEY ASKED ME TO.”

“This isn’t a considerate boyfriend who put together when you need pads, you have not consented to this sudden shift in your relationship as co-workers.”

“Please don’t humor him and don’t let anyone make excuses for him.”

“He’s got ‘Nice Guy’ syndrome.”- Anickov

“Oh f*ck no.”

“That is f*cking creepy and weird.”

“At the beginning I thought it was just you getting your period and someone giving you a pad and was like, ‘that’s not bad’, and then I read the post.”

“Holy sh*t.”

“Stay away from him.”

“Its not sweet.”

“It has creepy stalker vibes.”

“NTA.”- Few_Grapefruit8513


“He knows your cycle.”

“He asked your coworker, who’s also creepy, about it.”

“At best, he’s nice but totally socially clueless.”

“At worse, I don’t even know.”

“This is weird as fuck.”- FunkyOrangePenguin


“That is so weird, I would be freaked out too.”- Honest_Training_5124


“I’m HOPING that he truly had the sweetest of intentions.”

“But this is… well really freaking weird to put it lightly.”

“That’s more information than is necessary for a coworker to know, and honestly why the hell would your female friend share that information with him?”- Charming_Tax2311


“Reading this creeped me out a bit.”

“Your bodily functions aren’t anyones business unless you want them to be, and it sounds like you did not want this man to know when you menstruate.”

“Weird of your coworker to share the info too.”

“Is this somehow a common topic at your work?”

“This would be considered a huge overstepping of bounds in my past places of employment.”

“Honestly, I’m getting stalkerish incel ‘nice guy’ vibes.”- Odd_Entrepreneur_366

“Nta, talk with your friend about this.”

“She shouldn’t have given him that info.”

“It’s super creepy.”- usernameandsomeno


“What the actual f*ck.”

“And what kind of friends talks about your menstrual cycle?”

“People are so weird.”- mattstroganov


“I’d consider it alarming that he approached you on something so personal, and it was especially disturbing that your female ‘friend’ was so talkative about it.”

“I’d stop telling this ‘friend’ anything other personal things if you don’t want them spread to your co-workers.”

“And BTW, for some women, caffeine makes cramps worse.”

“You mention being given chocolate.”- stroppo


“Yeah, no thats some stalker level sh*t right there.”- OTTB_Mama


“He bought you very personal products after going out of his way to find out when your period was due, and his logic was that since you didn’t have a boyfriend and couldn’t afford these things yourself.”


“He would graciously buy them for you. I know he has a ton of plausible deniability to hide behind here, but this gives me an ick.”

“I’m sure it gave you an ick.”

“I think most women reading this had a similar reaction.”

“This is definitely a case of someone becoming uncomfortably over-familiar and crossing a line.”

“Even if his intentions were pure, every woman uses different pads, so either he crossed a line trying to figure out what products you use, or he took a big risk in guessing.”

“What if you’re very particular?”

“What if you don’t use pads at all?”

“I’d also talk to that coworker about the stuff she told him.”

“Like, did she not think it was weird that he was asking about all this?”

“Or has he confided in her that he has a crush on you, and she’s been helping him cross all these lines to curry favor with you.”- VisualCelery

One can’t blame the OP’s colleague for wanting to learn as much as he possibly could about her, and show her that he’s thinking about her.

But surely he could have thought of something which didn’t involve the OP’s bodily functions?

One can only hope that this was the. first and last time he made such a gesture…

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.