Sometimes it feels like conversation has lost its nuance.
People are having so much trouble communicating.
Chatter in the workplace can be a minefield.
There is a lot of miscommunication and judgment happening.
TV is an especially touchy subject.
Redditor Crafty_Anxiety_1383 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
""AITA for telling my coworker that I don't want to talk about media with her because of her obsession with morality?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I was talking with my coworker about a show we both like."
"In this show, there are two characters who have great chemistry, and their stories overlap in a way that suggests they will be, if nothing else, great friends."
"I think there's potential for one of the best slow-burning romantic stories of all time, but that's just me."
"One of the two characters is married, but it's heavily implied that it's a bad one."
"I mentioned that for the next season, wouldn't it be fun if we found out that the character was either no longer married, or there's some illicit affair action happening."
"It was partially in jest."
"She lost her fu*king mind at me and told me I was a horrible person, I was evil if I thought a fictional character should break up a family, and that it would ruin the show for her completely."
"I was like… ok."
"But she wouldn't leave it alone, and she told me that I must like seeing real families being torn apart, and the trauma that comes with it, and how disgusting and horrible it is."
"I don't care if she personally doesn't want to see that happen in the show!"
"It made me realize, however, that any time we talk about media, she gets stuck on which characters are good or bad people or who is 'unlikable.'"
"Forget discussing plot dynamics, storytelling, or anything; it's just who is evil or good or bad."
"She'll say things like 'X character is overrated' or 'X is overhated, and people who dislike that character are projecting.”'
"So the other day, she tried to show me social media posts about the show, and I let her know that I’d prefer to just not talk about media with her anymore because her morality hangup makes it difficult."
"She took deep offense to this and told me that I'm the one with the issue if I can't accept what other people think, and it's crappy of me to disengage just because I don't like her opinions."
"The thing is that I don't care that she has a different opinion about the show."
"I care that she turns it into some morality thing about me."
"I talk to other people about this show (and others), and it does not bother me at all if people disagree on what they see or want to see."
"Many (most probably) people have interpreted the relationship between the two characters completely different than me."
"I'm not super invested in 'fandom' or 'shipping' beyond just having eyes and seeing parallels that are in the show."
"But she insists that I am in the wrong and that I'm just projecting."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Her
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.
"NTA, but your co-worker is a giant, self-righteous one."
"It's time for a trip to HR to tell them what happened and get it in writing before she loses her mind because you won't entertain her verbal abuse and judgment about what an awful person you are for not sharing her views on morality. "
"Get ahead of this."
"EDIT: You NEED to tell H[uman] R[esources] that she verbally abused and attacked you over a television show."
"She's the type who will go file a complaint about you, and probably embellish it."
"She's not your friend." ~ MissionHoneydew2209
"Vehement disagreement about preferred storylines is one thing."
"Turning a discussion about a piece of fiction into an ad hominem attack on your character is just wild. NTA." ~ Nottooprecious
"NTA. This is something I've been encountering as well, and it very much sucks."
"I have stopped talking about books or shows or music with most people because of the complex they have about unlikeable characters/moral purity."
"It's frustrating when you want to have a nice in-depth discussion about a book and all people can say is 'the characters were too unlikeable' because 'they made bad decisions' or whatever."
"It's exhausting."
"Also, hello fellow kingdom truther 🫡 there are dozens of us!!! dozens!!!" ~ notmappedout
"NTA. Calling you evil over a TV show is unhinged, which goes well with her reaction to you not wanting to talk about a TV show. "
"No hinges found."
"I would go ahead and pull way back from socializing with this particular coworker and simply keep things polite, cordial, and professional with no deep or lengthy chats." ~ dryadduinath
"NTA - if she wants morality lessons from stories, she should stick with the bible."
"Honestly, if she doesn’t understand that enjoying media doesn’t mean condoning every action every character takes or could theoretically take, then that’s a maturity issue more than anything." ~ itsbritain
"NTA, this reminds me a lot of people back in the day who would get their panties in a twist if someone was a fan of Hannibal, like enjoying a character in a well-written show meant that they were condoning and supporting the behaviour of the character, and thus that meant that they were super chill with murder and cannibalism."
"Same thing here, your coworker tried to tell you that YOU'RE the one with an issue since you 'can't accept what other people think,' but she literally accused you of finding personal joy in families being broken up and other reprehensible behavior, because you made the mistake of suggesting that a storyline featuring those things might be interesting/enjoyable.
"It's a petty and childish way of looking at the world, you can enjoy a subject in FICTION because it's a story, real people aren't being hurt."
"Not being able to understand that enjoyment of media =/= condoning certain behaviour shows a huge lack of understanding of what media even IS."
"I'd be curious what she does enjoy, because the list must be SHORT, how much media can you think of where no one ever does anything bad and nothing bad happens?" ~ Fiigwort
"NTA. It's fiction."
"It sounds like she herself is projecting her fear of cheating within her family."
"Maybe her parent, or sibling, or in-law broke up a family."
"She sounds very hard to get along with, so not having her as your friendly, chatty coworker is no loss." ~ Spare_Ad5009
"NTA, you're completely in the right."
"You say she called you insulting things and said you like to see real families break up."
"That's not just a good reason to not engage with her on your shared fandom."
"That's a good reason to make a complaint to HR."
"That kind of language does not have a place in the workplace."
"But. BUT. While you are clearly morally in the right, I gotta tell you that her reaction to your being honest about this was 'incredibly predictable.'"
"The next time you disengage from a person who acts like this, if you don't want to or can't take steps like involving HR, do it much less forthrightly."
"Lie if you have to. Not to spare their feelings, but to spare you the backlash." ~ ravenwing263
"I had one of these friends, she got upset with me because I said Azula was my favorite Atla character. "
"She went off on me because Azula is a bad person."
"I told her Azula wasn't real."
"We stopped being friends soon after."
"Also, we were like 29."
"Anyway, nta that's annoying." ~ okazaki_fragment
"NTA. I would keep interactions with this person to a bare minimum and enforce focus on work-related topics only."
"This isn’t your friend, and you have no obligation to socialize with them." ~ Crafty_Original_7349
"This is 100% Mel/Langdon, isn't it?"
"God, can you imagine thinking that an infidelity storyline might happen in a medical drama?"
"I'm shocked! or I would be if it wasn't so extremely common."
"It's an interesting sort of story to explore that puts a big focus on the characters involved in it, and (jokingly or not) hoping that the show explores that doesn't mean you condone IRL infidelity,"
"It's participating in the pageantry of it all."
"NTA, op. god willing, they'll be cheating in season 3." ~ khismer
"NTA. This is becoming a real problem in fandom spaces."
"I'm sure it didn't start when people labelled Steven Universe 'irredeemable media,' but that's when I personally noticed it taking off like this."
"I think it's a serious problem when people cannot separate fiction from reality." ~ Heavy-Macaron2004
"NTA and this has been a MASSIVE issue in any sort of media discussion since 2016, it just got way more exposed in 2020, and rapidly got worse."
"People are becoming incapable of not attaching their own personal morality to things, and it's ruining fun discussions about shows and movies across the board."
"You can't even find a villain interesting, even if you completely condemn their actions as a villain, without someone without fail assuming you 100% stand by a character's actions when that's not even REMOTELY how that works." ~ KiratheCat
"NTA, but tell her if she has such strong suspicions that her husband is cheating on her, perhaps she should take it up with him and leave you out of it." ~ SteampunkRobin
Reddit feels your pain, OP.
You have every right to refuse to talk about anything and everything.
You're trying to keep the peace.
If your co-worker is offended... that's on her.
Enjoy your show.
