When we’re children, we’re encouraged to enjoy all the different little things that make up aspects of our identity and personality, like favorite TV shows, cartoons, and toys. But at some point, most adults encourage their kids to “grow up” and put those things out of their minds.
Every once in a while, a person will feel confident enough with themselves that they’ll still show off their favorite joys from childhood, the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit happily pointed out.
But people who “grew up” might take that personally.
Redditor TheSkaldofBass chose to take a fun Pokémon lunchbox to work every day. It was practical for him, while also bringing a little fun into the office, and who wouldn’t want that?
But a new coworker clearly had a problem with the lunchbox, as he kept making increasingly snide remarks about it until the Original Poster (OP) had heard enough.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for refusing to stop using my ’embarrassing’ lunchbox at work?”
The OP had a fun Pokémon lunch box that he took to work.
“I (28 Male) bring my lunch to work every day in a bright blue Pokémon lunchbox.”
“I’ve had it for years, and I don’t think much about it. It’s just the perfect size, keeps my food cold, and honestly, I think it’s kinda fun.”
A new coworker made increasingly mean comments about it.
“Recently, a new coworker, Matt (35 Male), started making comments about it.”
“At first, it was just joking around, like, ‘Nice lunchbox, dude, my kid has the same one.’ Whatever, I laughed it off.”
“But then he kept bringing it up, saying it was ‘unprofessional’ and that I should ‘grow up and get a real lunch bag.'”
“I told him I didn’t see the issue and that it’s literally just a lunchbox.”
But then Matt took his comments too far in front of the coworkers.
“But last week, he took it further, telling me in front of our coworkers that it was ‘weird for a grown man to be carrying around kid stuff.'”
“I told him he should worry less about my lunchbox and more about his own life.”
“Now he’s been acting cold toward me, and a couple of coworkers said I was being too harsh, that he was just ‘messing around.'”
“But I don’t see why I should change something harmless just because one guy thinks it’s weird.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said it was clear that Matt and his enabling coworkers were the problem, not the OP.
“It’s weird that your coworkers are telling YOU you were too harsh. Matt does need to mind his own business and he’s been berating you repeatedly for something that has nothing to do with him and brings you some semblance of joy.”
“Where I work, he’d be the one in the social hot seat for being a jerk. NTA, by the way. You could have been harsher and still not been the a**hole.” – Automatic-Quit1426
“Matt is a bully, and it bothers him that the OP isn’t bothered.”
“People like Matt get jealous of oddballs for daring to be different, with emphasis on the DARING part, not the different part.”
“We all (well, maybe not the really young folks here, depending on their parents, but mostly) heard that same tired ‘give up everything fun or odd or just whimsical and resign yourself to adult drudgery’ message growing up.”
“Some folks, accidentally or deliberately, never gave in to that message. Now those who did, and who slowly stripped the little joy out of their lives (and we’re all losing the big joys, let’s be honest) see that some people didn’t, and nothing actually happened.”
“They aren’t ‘losers,’ they hold down jobs and families, they can be highly educated or highly earning, they pay their taxes, they adult, and they do it with a Pikachu lunchbox or a LEGO collection or a gaming habit. And if you got suckered that way, it’s gotta sting.”
“It’s just so sad that humanity has that, ‘I hurt, must squash others to hurt too,’ button and not the, ‘Oh, look, I can do that too if I want! Let’s hurt less!’ button installed.” – CopperPegasus
“The insecure ‘kids on the playground’ look up to Matt because they think he is the cool one. In reality, OP is the cool one, secure in himself and his lunchbox, a leader and not a follower. Bunch of sheep!”
“OP should double down and get something even ‘girlier’ to go with his lunchbox. Maybe a ‘My Little Pony’ thermos.” – MadamInsta
“This can’t really be about a Pokémon lunchbox. Has to have some underlying control issues there. Call it out, makes it less powerful. ‘Why are you fixated on my lunchbox? Grown men being obsessed with my lunchbox isn’t normal.'” – MegaPints
“He sounds like one of those a**holes who likes to torment other people and then tries to pretend ‘it’s just a joke’ when called out on their behavior.”
“Time for him to learn that being an a-hole to coworkers is way more unprofessional than using a lunchbox you like.”
“Tell HR he’s creating a toxic work environment.” – jpb
“He said a grown man carrying that lunch box was weird. What’s weird is a grown man being obsessed with someone else’s choice of container to lug food around in. Why tf does it matter, like, at all?”
“There has to be some jealousy there over other things, and the lunchbox just happens to be an easy thing to target. This guy sounds like a professional bully.” – AutisticTumourGirl
“Matt is the kind of guy who bullied other kids because he was jealous that they were confident and enjoyed stuff. He was always trying to look cool but didn’t get to actually enjoy the stuff he wanted.” – SapphireFarmer
“He wasn’t messing around. The jealous and insecure coworker was actively trying to humiliate you and wouldn’t stop.”
“You did the right thing. Insecure people often sulk when put in their place, and they seek the same weak-minded individuals to back them.” – ejmaci287
“For future reference, you can overreact positively back with a whole story of how or why you got it. Just very excitedly tell them. They will probably give up because it’s too much effort and makes them look really bad for insulting something that you love.”
“You could throw in that you got it to match a nephew because he was feeling insecure about bringing it to school. ‘Why someone would make fun of someone else’s lunchbox is beyond me, but I use it for him. I also like it.'”
“This technique probably won’t work on your current bully, but if someone else says something then it might work on him.”
“Also NTA, Matt needed to be shut down since your small hints weren’t working. You could let HR know what happened (including all of the unnecessary comments on the lunchbox) if you are afraid that he might try and beat you there. I would at least start taking notes on every time he makes a comment.” – thefabulousbri
Others shared their stories of fun items they took to work and school.
“I’m a 30-year-old mom, and I have a ‘murder penguin’ tattoo and an anime sleeve on the other arm. And I will rock my Pikachu pajamas anytime. I plan on getting a tattoo of Pikachu holding a ketchup bottle soon, as well. These are things that make me happy.”
“Your response was perfect. He can worry more about his own life than what lunch box you use.”
“I also watch Pokémon with my kid and he loves it. Nothing wrong with a grown-up liking Pokémon.” – DryHead6142
“NTA. My partner (55 Male) left his cooler bag at work one day, so I packed his lunch in mine, which has rainbows and unicorns all over it. He’s a tradie and works with some pretty rough boys, but they thought it was the best thing ever.”
“The next day, one of the other boys turned up with his daughter’s ‘Care Bears’ lunchbox, and from there, it has become a friendly rivalry as to who has the ‘best’ lunchbox.”
“The point is, it’s just a lunchbox. If it’s doing a job and isn’t offensive, then who cares?!” – madamsyntax
“My husband has a ‘Hello Kitty’ lunchbox I bought him as a joke. He brings it to work proudly every day and anyone who gives him sh*t he laughs at. He works for the navy building their submarines so definitely has some ‘masculine men’ there and 90 percent of them don’t give a d**n.” – AccurateSession1354
“I regularly wear my Pikachu backpack out and about. Also in my 30s. Don’t let anyone beat the inner child out of you. In my experience, that inner child is the best part of most people I meet.” – Resident-Rhubarb8372
“I feel like you should get a Pokemon juice bottle, knife and fork set, and cup. In fact, get a double set so you can give it to Matt to enjoy, too. It must be jealousy if he cannot get over a colleague using a Pokémon lunchbox.” – InnerSight3
It sounded to the subReddit like Matt was feeling insecure about something in his life, or perhaps he was feeling defeated that he’d given up something he loved instead of proudly displaying it like the OP.
Whatever the case, the way Matt was treating the OP was unfair, and hopefully, once the coworkers learned that this was a recurring problem that the OP was responding to and not a one-time event, they’d show him more support.