When it comes to pregnancy, people tend to think of “good” pregnancies as healthy and non-problematic, while “tough” pregnancies and “complicated” pregnancies carry risks.
But the truth of the matter is, every pregnancy will have its tough moments and its more frustrating symptoms, even if everything is going according to plan, pointed out the members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor throwawayy82670 was ten weeks pregnant, had ongoing morning sickness, and was dealing with terrible bouts of fatigue, causing her to not be as active and to struggle with going to the gym.
When her boyfriend shamed her for not going to the gym again and felt she was overexaggerating her situation, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked and began to question herself.
She asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting in how I responded to my boyfriend being upset with me that I skipped my workout routine today?”
The OP was struggling to maintain her fitness routine while pregnant.
“I’m going on 10 weeks pregnant and honestly just exhausted most of the time.”
“I used to go to the gym regularly, but now with how I’ve been feeling lately, I haven’t had the motivation to workout as much.”
The OP’s boyfriend didn’t appreciate her struggles.
“My boyfriend got upset with me this morning because I said I would be skipping again.”
“We talked about this before I became pregnant, and made an agreement that I would try to maintain my mental and physical health.”
“He sees this (amongst a few other things) as me falling back on my word. It led to these texts, with him calling me toxic and depressing.”
You can see the text message exchange here:
The boyfriend started off by reminding the OP to drink a protein shake.
“Morning beautiful. Don’t forget that shake.”
“It’s gonna help you a lot, trust!”
But the OP wasn’t feeling it.
“Thanks babe, but I don’t think I feel like moving around too much today.”
“I’ll probably take a walk tonight if I feel better.”
She shared a meme that said:
“Everything hurts and I’m dying.”
But the OP’s boyfriend wasn’t convinced.
“LOL, really? You shouldn’t have morning sickness anymore.”
“If that’s the case, then we need to get that checked.”
The OP explained her symptoms.
“I’m still sore, okay, and you know I slept like s**t last night.”
“And yeah, I don’t think I’m keeping the shake down anyway.”
“I don’t want to deal with this right now.”
The OP’s boyfriend continued to push the issue.
“Look, I know things aren’t ideal right now, but we haven’t got to the hard part yet, and you’re already giving up.”
“Just putting it out there. I’m concerned.”
“At least try to stretch, and I’ll come rub you down on my break.”
The OP didn’t appreciate her boyfriend’s concerns.
“I’m giving up because I don’t feel like working out today?”
“Yeah, I already see how today is gonna go, so please stop talking to me.”
In response to his offer for a massage, the OP said:
“No, I don’t want that.”
The OP’s boyfriend deflected:
“What the h**l do you want then?”
“The f**k? I’m trying to help you out and be accommodating, and all I get is f**king tantrums and bulls**t from you.”
“What have you done for me? Bet you can’t even remember, because I sure as h**l don’t.”
The OP tried to set a boundary.
“Just stop, babe.”
“Like, I get you’re trying to help, but certain things like this make me feel worse.”
But the OP’s boyfriend wasn’t having it.
“That’s cool. You’re better off not playing the victim role and feeling sorry for yourself, because you know that’s my biggest pet peeve.”
The OP was angry at this point.
“Exactly what I’m talking about. Holy s**t.”
“You’re so inconsiderate, it’s insane, like, do you even hear yourself sometimes?”
The OP’s boyfriend continued to deflect.
“LOL, here comes the gaslighting.”
“We’re arguing because I’m trying to help you.”
“I swear, you’re toxic as f**k. This s**t is getting depressing.”
The OP was done.
“Whatever.”
“Am I overreacting, or is it him that is being insensitive to what I’m going through?”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some reassured the OP that she needed to listen to her body and did not have to exercise if she didn’t feel up to it.
“If you don’t feel well enough to exercise, you should not exercise. He has no right to tell you what to do. Pregnancy is draining, and it makes you feel unwell.”
“His first response should be: Is there anything I could do for you?”
“Or: You don’t wanna exercise? That’s fine. Hope you feel better soon.” – TheRoomyBear
“What the f**k is this guy talking about? 10 weeks is a normal time to be feeling tired and sick during pregnancy. That was actually the worst time for me, feeling tired, I could have taken like five naps each day. This guy is a total d**k.” – Mamabr2
“What the f**k?! Morning sickness is at its peak around 10 weeks. I’m p**sed for you. This dude needs to shut the f**k up about YOUR pregnancy symptoms.”
“You need to bombard him with videos about what pregnancy and childbirth do to your body, because this dude is not going to let you rest after you give birth. He’s going to be hounding you to go work out the next day.”
“It’s possible I’m projecting a little… but girl, good luck!” – lissydoll36
“When I was pregnant, there were days in my first trimester that I just had to stop everything and take a rest because I would get super tired for no reason.”
“My best friend would say that the baby was growing some important part on that day.” – Desperate-Travel-350
“My wife had morning sickness for all nine months of all three pregnancies. She was hospitalized a total of six times for dehydration. If she had a good day where she felt good and was active, then the next day was even worse.”
“It’s crazy that this guy thinks it’s okay to just say ‘your morning sickness should be over, get your fat, lazy a** to the gym’ while her body is trying to grow another human.”
“I don’t get how guys like that can be so out of touch and yet women still choose to not only be with them but procreate.” – TerribleEagle9837
“NOR, saying you’re trying to play victim because you’re pregnant is actually leave-worthy.”
“When you have a kid, you won’t be able to get to the gym as much anyway, and if it’s going to bug him that much? Then he’s not worth it. Especially if he’s going to tie in you being too exhausted for the gym as doing nothing for him.”
“Which reading between the lines: if you don’t lose the baby weight fast enough? He’s out or shacking up with someone else. And that’s even if he doesn’t when you’re really showing.” – A_Stay_At_Home_Dad
Others wished that the OP was having this baby with someone who was more supportive.
“Leave this guy. I’m so sorry you’re having a baby with a loser like that.” – Disastrous_Honey_240
“My wife had morning sickness up until the day she gave birth. Some men really love to speak on things they know NOTHING about.”
“As soon as I saw that part of the text and his response, is when I knew OP f*cked up in letting this dips**t get her preggers.”
“Not her fault, of course, but she deserves so much better than she’s going to get from him… while pregnant and after having the baby.” – VonThirstenberg
“I 100% bet that he’s ONLY worried about your shape after the pregnancy. He doesn’t want you to gain weight.”
“No matter what symptom you share with him, he cares more about keeping you fit and not fat than about your well-being and pregnancy.”
“I’m at 37 weeks and trust me, he’ll have plenty of other opportunities to call you a victim if he keeps this s**tty mindset… F**k that guy and cut him loose.” – warmbroccoli
“The fact that he wanted her to have an ‘agreement’ about her mental health is a major abuse signal to me as well. I bet he’s blaming her normal outrage at mistreatment as her mental health problems.” – snakecharmerssensei
“I’m a dude, and I’m worked up on her behalf. I know this type of f**king guy. He is only worried about her body.”
“‘If she doesn’t work out during pregnancy, her body might never bounce back!’ He’s being a selfish f**k who doesn’t deserve ANY woman to help him procreate.”
“OP needs to seriously tell him to shut the f**k up or get used to paying child support. Because that kinda guy is not in a relationship for anyone but himself. He wants what you can provide for him, without him having to provide any real support for you.”
“He is disgusting.” – TexanAmericanMexican
“OMG!!! I’m 10 weeks pregnant too, wife of a gym manager and personal trainer, and my husband would NEVER speak to me like that!”
“I haven’t been able to go to the gym for almost a month, and honestly only move about because I have to take care of my older kids. The morning sickness doesn’t just disappear at 10 weeks, and pushing it at this stage isn’t healthy, especially if it doesn’t feel right.”
“You’ll have plenty of time to get back on track later.”
“Sorry, but your boyfriend seems to severely lack sympathy and is pushing you for what reason? Just tell him to shut the f**k up; he has no idea what your body is going through!”
“Sorry, I just got extra worked up on your behalf. Hang in there!” – Downtown-Wealth-5908
The subreddit was disgusted on the OP’s behalf, not only because of the misinformation that her boyfriend believed, but also because of how he was treating her because of it.
He either needed to sit down and do some quick reading to learn the position she was in, or they needed to break up, because there was no way she could have a healthy and peaceful pregnancy while being treated like this.