People’s relationship to their hair is a very personal thing.
Some people treat their hair even better than their loved ones.
Hair to some is everything.
Including the people who hold disdain for another person’s follicle choices.
Case in point…
Redditor justtemporary49 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for refusing to cut my hair despite my roommates request?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (22 M[ale]) share a university flat with a girl the same age as me.”
“We have been sharing a room for 2-3 years (I don’t know exactly) and are studying the same course.”
“She has never shown a resentment of my hair (up until now) and even used to tell me how much she adored it and would beg me to let her play with it and style it.”
“However, recently she has been complaining about my long hair and saying that it ‘gets everywhere’ and ‘clogs the shower.'”
“I have always listened to what she has to say but from what I am aware most of her claims are false.”
“I think this because I have very little hair loss.”
“I don’t know why this is but I rarely find hairs around the flat, despite her ‘always’ finding them.”
“She expects me to cut my hair saying it is ‘for us’ as if we are some dying couple.”
“I have already refused to cut it, but about 2 days ago she had a massive rant about it and must have told her friends as I had lots of messages from them.”
“To sum up the messages I was basically being called inconsiderate and disrespectful for not cutting my hair.”
“She has also called me an AH multiple times in real life due to things which are (in my opinion) quite minor.”
“So is she right, AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA for refusing to cut it but certainly check drains etc for hair when you’ve showered, that’s a courtesy regardless of hair length though.”
“As for her, she needs to grow up.”
“The world does not respond to her insane requests.” ~ Jainer99
“NTA. Houseful of long-haired folks here – get something like a tub shroom for the bathtub/shower.”
“You may not see the hairs, but they will sneak down the drains.”
“Tub/shower clogs are a pain to clear out.”
“None of us here have visible levels of daily hair loss – and yet, our tub shroom needs tidying after every shower.”
“And the trap for our bathroom sink needs a regular clean out.”
“And our vacuum cleaner needs routine de-hairing.”
“She’s wrong for demanding you cut your hair (?!?WTF?!?).”
“But just because you don’t notice that you shed doesn’t mean that you don’t shed.”
“Does your bedroom door lock?”
“Don’t know what level of concern you have about your roomie’s demands, but lock it if you think it’s reaching ‘she’s gonna snip off my ponytail while I’m asleep’ levels.” ~ SnarkyBeanBroth
“I also kept a hand vac around when I was living with a friend with short, light-colored hair.”
“His bathroom was ALL WHITE and I have long, dark hair, so I’d just check and go over the bathroom with the hand vac every couple of days.”
“You’ll notice there are a few spots in the house where stray hairs fetch up; check those periodically.”
“But otherwise, NTA.”
“Where does she get off telling you what to do with your hair?” ~ JadieJang
“She wants you to cut it because she’s jealous.”
“It takes so much time to grow that much hair.”
“Mine is down to my waist, a coworker’s is past her butt.”
“This takes AGES.”
“Seven years for me. You don’t just get it back when it’s gone.”
“She knows this.”
“If she can convince you to cut it just once, then for years she won’t have to compete with your beautiful hair.”
‘That’s all this is. She wants to be the long mermaid hair girl.”
“It’s manipulative competition and it’s gross and you do not have to get involved.”
“You do not have to consent to deal with her BS.”
“Keep your beautiful hair. NTA.” ~ CopsaLau
“NTA be careful she doesn’t try to chop it off herself.”
“She’s acting crazy and is clearly jealous of your hair.”
“If it’s a university flat, can you request a transfer out due to harassment?”
“If so, I would collect all the evidence of her and her friends harassing you and request a transfer.” ~ MissBerrylicious
“NTA. Make sure you snake/clean the drain.”
“I have mid-length hair and snake the drain about twice a year.”
“If you shower and end up standing ankle-deep in water, you need to clean that drain.”
“Also, perhaps clean up more than twice a month?”
“It shouldn’t take more than a few minutes to vacuum and run a broom over the floors.” ~ SnazzySusieQ
“NTA. You shouldn’t have to alter your appearance at your roommate’s whim.”
“Also, your roommate is very much the AH for getting her friend involved in the argument.”
“They have no stake in this, except that your roommate has found a way to outsource her harassment of you to other people.”
“This is a form of bullying and harassment.”
“It’s the IRL equivalent of doxxing.” ~ bamf1701
“NAH. Stick to the issue that she’s complaining about your about hair clogging the drain.”
“Solution: clean the drain after showering and wipe the sink if you brush your hair in the bathroom.”
“You may think your luxurious locks don’t shed but trust me – they do.” ~ NanaLeonie
“I agree with what you said but I don’t agree that it’s a NAH.”
“Yeah the roommate has the right to be upset/frustrated with OP’s hair clogging the drain or getting all over the place and asking them to clean out their hair or other solutions.”
“But asking someone to CUT their hair over this is ridiculous in my opinion.” ~ HogwartsAlumni25
“WTF. NTA in this situation.”
“My hair is down to my butt and I would move out before cutting it.”
“That being said, long hair gets everywhere!”
“My boyfriend finds random strands of my hair all over, and the shower clogging is 100% real.”
“I’m sorry, but everyone sheds hair, just because you don’t notice, doesn’t mean that you don’t.” ~ Bright_Sea_7567
“NTA. I have long hair.”
“To avoid issues like this I comb my hair in the shower with conditioner in it, collect the hair and throw it out.”
“No clogs, no probs.”
“If/when next the shower clogs it would be nice for you to fix it instead of the roommate as a gesture of peace BUT no one has the right to demand you cut your hair or do anything else to your body.”
“NTA.” ~ sarabatgirl
“NTA on cutting your hair for sure.”
“But I also think you are in denial about your hair management.”
“Long hair that goes down your back?”
“I guarantee you shed hair when you shower or bathe and put conditioner in and rinse out, does a few strands of hair come loose?”
“Many people get mad at living with people with long hair if you don’t sweep it up, clean out the drains, etc.”
“It happens to all of us.”
“My hair when it is mid-length doesn’t shed much but when it grows even an inch beyond mid-back.”
“I start shedding more when I shower etc.”
“It’s the weight of the hair.” ~ Otherwise_Turn_869
“I roomed with a dude in college that had long hair.”
“First time I ever had a shower drain clog on me.”
“Snaking the drain it was 90% his hair, easy to tell when his hair was long and black and mine is blonde.”
“After that happened I asked him to snake the drain every couple of weeks.”
“Problem went away.”
“She had no right to tell you to cut your hair, but you should probably clean that drain more often.”
“ESH, but her more than you for going to an extreme solution first.” ~ Th3rtySe7en
“NTA. Since she’s jumping to wanting you to cut your hair maybe there is something else going on, like jealousy over your long hair.”
“Her friends being on board with wanting you to cut your hair is bizarre.”
“That is not the solution that would spring to mind if she just wanted less of your hair around the place.”
“You could try to check things out for yourself.”
“Run the furniture over with a lint tape roller and make sure to check the shower drain carefully.”
“But unless you find more hair than you expected this way, it’s likely that it’s not the hair off your head that is her real concern.”
“If you do find a lot of hair this way then you need to clean it up better and more often.”
“But her demanding you get your hair cut is not a reasonable thing for her to ask you to do at all.” ~ jwjnthrowawaykfeiofj
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
As long as you’re doing your part to keep everything clean, your hair is yours.
Hopefully you and your roomie can come to a pleasant resolution.
And be sure to rock those locks with pride.