Anyone who has ever engaged with a nudist community at all can attest to the fact that consent plays a vital role in the community, as does personal hygiene and respecting shared spaces.
If you’re going to practice nudity, it’s obviously important to keep yourself clean and healthy, and when you’re going to sit down in a public space, a towel or other barrier between your body and the shared furniture should be a given.
However, these tips should apply to shared spaces whether practicing nudity or not, pointed out the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
A Redditor, who has since deleted their account, was hosting their brother and sister-in-law in their home, and they were dreading to find out if their sister-in-law would repeat bad behaviors from a previous visit.
When their sister-in-law ruined their furniture by exposing the fabric to her bare butt, the Original Poster (OP)’s worst concerns were confirmed.
They asked the sub:
“AITAH for asking my brother-in-law’s wife to wear bottoms around the house?”
The OP and their partner were hosting their brother- and sister-in-law while they moved.
“My significant other and I have been putting up my brother-in-law and his wife while he’s trying to move back into the area.”
“He’s employed and is paying a small amount for room and board while he and his wife attempt to sell their house and move into a new place here.”
“They’ve been with us for six months so far.”
A recurring concern was the OP’s sister-in-law’s health issues.
“My brother-in-law’s wife, Tina, is in her late-30s, she’s a larger girl, and she has some health issues (yes, related to her weight, which is why I mentioned it; she’s beautiful).”
“She’s visited before and ruined decorative pillows due to having ‘accidents’ on them as she likes to sit on our black decorative cushions.”
“The reason I say ‘accidents’ is that she doesn’t wear underwear under her nightgown and will stay in her nightgown the majority of the day.”
“I’ve had it. I watched her ruin another decorative pillow by sitting on it and leaving vaginal discharge and urine on it. I gave her a day to clean it, and she pretended it hadn’t happened.”
“I ended up throwing out the pillow in disgust and bleaching the seating mat underneath it.”
“She then wore the same pee stained nightgown the next day and I watched her as SHE LIFTED IT UP TO SIT DOWN bare butt on my furniture.”
The OP and her partner had had enough of the issue.
“We’ve spoken to her husband, hoping he can tell her to wear underpants nicely.”
“I’m also considering getting her a box of incontinence pads and leaving it in the bathroom she uses to see if she’ll take a hint and use them.”
“AITAH in this? It’s disgusting, right?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that they would be much stricter than the OP was.
“That’s nasty. You’re more tolerant than I would be. Your house, your rules. I wouldn’t give her a ton of chances to comply.” – SusanTruax27
“I wouldn’t give anyone a chance to actively do such a thing. I mean, accidents can happen for medical reasons, and of course for young children, it will happen.”
“There’s no excuse for an adult to behave like this while being a guest.”
“Sure, there might be mental issues, but that’s nothing OP should have to deal with. That responsibility belongs to the OP’s brother-in-law and sister-in-law.”
“NTA.” – Rhaj-no1992
“The OP has been way too kind so far. I’d add that future incidents will result in a revocation of the invitation. She also should have reimbursed the OP for the damaged property.”
“There’s no excuse for that. None. It’s disgusting and disrespectful. Period.” – NOLACenturion
“I don’t understand how it happened the first time, and she’s still in their house.”
“‘Cause baby, THE DOOR THEY WOULD HAVE SEEN in my house?! That’s just so nasty and unsanitary. GAG.” – Tamekyaa
“I was raised around nudists.”
“The only furniture it’s acceptable to put your bare butt on without putting a towel there first is your own bed.”
“Those are the RULES. Anything else is disgusting and should be set on FIRE.” – Emergency-Twist7136
“I wouldn’t even be discreet about the pee-pads, I’d make it very obvious I’m putting them out for the untrained animal living in my house… like what the h**l?”
“Clearly, this woman has mental health issues but what the f**k? She is a GUEST in OP’s HOME and she’s shamelessly throwing her vag around on furniture that belongs to OP.”
“This is so repulsive. Shame on this woman, and shame on her spouse for not addressing this sooner and for not getting her the mental care she so desperately needs!” – Disastrous_Horse_14
“I actually have two types of incontinence, ‘urge’ and ‘stress.’ I have to wear maximum protection disposable undies, and boy are they necessary.”
“My point is that many people, women and men, have this problem, but there are solutions. In fact, when I go to my best friend’s house to hang out, she has me sit on a puppy pad in case my usual protection is inadequate so as not to leak on her furniture.”
“I don’t mind a bit because it is MY problem and I don’t want it to become HER problem.” – alisonchains2023
Others agreed and said they would have talked to the brother-in-law a long time ago.
“Why has the conversation with the brother-in-law not been, ‘I don’t care what you do, and this is not about you. She has an hour to get out of my house and is never welcome back.'”
“End of conversation. The nastiness of it had me gagging just reading it.” – Usual-Canary-7764
“I just gagged a little reading that. Please tell your brother-in-law that she is not allowed to stay over ever again, ever.”
“Also, go buy some pee pads for dogs and put them over all the furniture and pillows while she’s there.” – SoMoistlyMoist
“It’s time to get in your brother-in-law’s face and tell him, ‘Everyone in our house has to have their a**es and their d**k or vagina covered up. We made it a house rule since we have had so many cushions ruined. It is non-negotiable.'”
“If they push back, I’d go with, ‘I don’t know anyone who lets guests wipe their a**es and p*ss on their furniture, but if YOU do, it is time to give them a call, because we are done hosting you and Donald Duck’s vaginal discharge.'” – No_Stairway_Denied
“Her lack of underwear isn’t the problem. She wouldn’t be setting foot in my home ever again if she behaved like that in my house, let alone stay two weeks each month in my home. That’s beyond discussing and is inappropriate.”
“NTA. You need to set boundaries with your brother-in-law, and she needs to stay out of your house.” – Otherwise_Degree_729
“This is cringe as f**k! First, it’s the lack of common sense and decorum. It’s appalling that she would not wear underwear when visiting and in a common space, but to actually see her lift her nightgown?! That just means she is doing it on purpose.”
“She would not be welcomed in my house, and I would demand my brother-in-law and her to reimburse for the damaged pillows.”
“Boundaries, man, boundaries! Also: ew ew ew ew! NTA!”
“Also, I need to take a moment to side-eye the brother-in-law, because who in their right mind would see that behavior as acceptable, let alone want to be married to it?” – PerspectiveNo2782
“NTA, but it’s time you tell your brother-in-law if he can’t control the situation, they have to leave.”
“It doesn’t matter if he’s paying a small amount of room board or not, you feel like a guest in your home, and she is disgusting. She needs to be fully clothed and wearing underwear at the bare minimum. If they can’t respect that this is your home, then they can leave and find accommodation elsewhere.”
“Let your brother-in-law know that if he does not have a discussion with his wife and change it that you will have a discussion with her about it, which will likely not end well.” – United-Manner20
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update that would hopefully make a big difference.
“Thank you all for your thoughts and comments.”
“The next morning, my brother-in-law spoke to his wife. She now has incontinence pads and is wearing pants in the common areas and will be leaving today!”
“Thanks, everyone, for all the responses. I thought I was crazy for being so upset about this. She hasn’t left yet, but soon, I’ll breathe a sigh of relief.”
The subReddit was endlessly disgusted by the OP’s sister-in-law’s behavior, especially in someone else’s home, and going so far as to damage someone else’s property by doing something that was preventable.
The subReddit also couldn’t look past the fact that the OP’s brother-in-law found this to be acceptable behavior, seeing as how he hadn’t done anything to discourage his own wife’s behavior or to talk to her about what she was doing in someone else’s home.
It was clearly time for the couple to make other arrangements while they were trying to relocate because if this was how the sister-in-law behaved in her own home, there was no telling how long it would take to sell their previous house.