We unfortunately can’t control how others choose to act, even if how they are acting is harming us or doing us damage in some way.
Others may treat the things we love and care about with disrespect and then blame us in turn: as Redditor selinebabyw experienced with her mom and sister on their private beach.
She went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for validation for her story by asking:
“AITA for ruining a couple’s honeymoon and ’embarrassing’ them?”
Our original poster, or OP, began by telling us exactly how she came to have a private beach.
“Every year, my mom, sister, and I (18F[emale]) go on a girl’s trip to the beach since we own a beach house in SEA. In the community, each plot is allotted a certain portion of the beach, specifically the length directly in front of each house.”
“All the homeowners are generally very friendly + rules are set in place by the association to avoid trespassing, so nobody has to worry about anyone coming into their beach front getting trashed. There are hilltop houses too, but they only have access to the public beach.”
After a long flight, OP was looking forward to some rest and relaxation.
“Last summer, we arrived and my mom and sister crashed because of the long flight (12 hrs). I was in charge of setting up the beach front.”
“We store our beach furniture when the house is not in use so I had to pull them out of storage alone in the middle of the night, drag them to the beach, and arrange them in the dark. It took about an hour to do.”
And then the next morning ruined that prospect.
“The next morning, we decided to stay in the whole morning and head to the beach in the afternoon. When we finally decided to make our way down, I was surprised to see beer bottles, trash, towels, and bags that weren’t ours scattered across the beach.”
“The tables and chairs had been rearranged and the beach beds were moved closer to the water. At this point, everyone was confused and annoyed, most especially me.”
“We could hear voices coming from the beach beds so my mom and sister walked back to call the police to handle the trespassers. Me on the other hand?”
“Well, I’m like my dad and since I didn’t like the fact that they had trashed the place, I wanted to give them a piece of my mind. On the beds was a couple live-streaming, bragging about spending their honeymoon at their ‘private beach house.’”
So, being annoyed, OP decided to approach the trespassing couple.
“I said something along the lines of, ‘excuse me, why are you here? You’re trespassing on private property and the police are on the way to escort you out.’ Of course, instead of apologizing, they told their ‘fans’ that they had no idea who ‘this kid is’ and that I must be mistaken + I should leave because I WAS the one TRESPASSING.”
“I repeated, even louder this time, ‘You are trespassing. You have trashed our private beach front. Please collect your things while we wait for the police.’”
They got rather unkind at this point.
“At this point, they’re frantically screaming at me after ending their livestream saying that I’ve ruined their honeymoon and that I was a stuck up bitch.”
And they were found easily but OP is wondering if she got too in their face.
“When the police arrived, they had run away, but the community is pretty small so we found them pretty quickly.”
“The girl’s family owned a hilltop house and wanted to have a beach all to themselves so they walked the beach (the public and private beach are connected but there is a piece of rope separating it, people usually don’t climb over it) and settled on ours.”
“They were eventually fined but my mom tells me that I shouldn’t have made a fuss and left it to the authorities.”
Redditors decided if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Reddit didn’t think OP could have been in the wrong here at all.
“NTA, I wouldn’t waste another thought on these idiots. You didn’t ‘ruin’ their honeymoon. They are mad that they were caught out on a lie with witnesses. You should deliver the trash they left to their door too.”~Chooks2pooks
“NTA. But couldn’t you have waited for the police? Not blaming you, but if they were livestreaming for their fans, we’ll all had a good laugh them being escorted out of their private beach by authorities.”~InternationalDivide0
“Go easy on yourself for being indignant. It’s only natural. It says a lot about your character that you’d still be worried about it after all this time.”
“But yeah–police showing up would have made this fantastic. Always astonishes me how entitled people feel when they have a wedding. I rent a tiny office to write in (cause at the house, I get distracted by chores) that I pay a few bucks to use down at the Y.”
“There was a wedding one weekend and they helped themselves to my office. Moved my research around and everything. Then they let themselves in to the downstairs (which is locked and 100% off limits) and poked $1400 worth of holes into the karate mats. The Sensei got on the phone and threatened them with litigation. I installed a padlock on the door. I was miffed. NTA”~BrownBirdDiaries
“NTA – lol, you handled it the best possible way and applied the IRL filter to their livestream.”
“I’d file a police report for littering and trespassing. It is disgusting how tourists treat other people’s homes because it is an #instagrammable backdrop to their fever dreams. They could at least have asked to take pictures or videos at your place, but littering? Bottles? possibly broken glass in the sand on my property?”
“They can be glad I didn’t bring out the broom like my mum would have”~Mesapholis
In fact, that they were trying to livestream their fake situation makes OP even more in the right, in Reddit’s eyes.
“Calling the police on people who might have made an honest mistake is more of a dick move that confronting them directly and giving them the chance to apologize and get away without being fined.”
“It got confrontational because it wasn’t an honest mistake and they were a**holes. Good for you for letting them know you cannot cross people’s boundaries without consequenses. That is a good experience for entitled people to have. NTA”~flijn
“NTA. They were trying to look good because they must be influencers or something. There’s been some of the entitled behaviors in the news. Likely wasn’t even a honeymoon, but you outed them for not being as well off as their fans might think.”
“You just wiped the lipstick off the pig. When you get caught being someone you’re not, it’s not the fault of the person who outed you.”
“I likely would have videoed how they left your property and put it up for their followers because I’m a bit more malicious.”~TheOrigRayofSunshine
“NTA. What a couple of entitled asshats. You handled it very well. They were trashing your private beach and your property.”
“The only things ruining their honeymoon was their huge egos and massive entitlement. Glad the police found them.”~SprSnkySnickerdoodle
“NTA. Like ‘no, dear tresspasser, just continue doing as you are.’ I mean, probably that would have been hilarious to see, them continuing streaming and bammm – police. I mean honest mistakes do happen (just this weekend I accidentally became a trespasser – there were no signs or fences on one side of a lake on the side I entered from and my fiancé remembered it to be public from a few years ago and was apparently privatised since then, it’s like a trend in my country…), but if they did have a local house, that they had no knowledge of the rules is highly unlikely.”~MeiSuesse
And that if they’d been making an honest mistake, this would be a different situation.
“NTA, They trespassed private property and threw their trash everywhere. Their honeymoon wouldn’t have been ruined if they didn’t get themselves into this situation. If anything, getting their honeymoon ruined is their fault.”~saranoth25
“NTA. You could indeed have waited for the police to arrive. The situation might not have escalated had you not felt the need to say something and just waited for the police. However, it was your family’s private beach front and you were therefore in the right to tell them to leave. I personally would have waited for the police to handle things, but what you did was not illegal nor morally or ethically wrong. So nta.”~VapeSalviaNation
“ESH I think. They are no doubt a**holes. But I’m a firm believer in not saying anything after you’ve called the police. I think you need to pick one – you handle it, or you call the police to handle it. Or try to handle it first, and if it’s not working, then call the police and leave it at that.”
“I’ve been on both sides of this coin – calling the police myself, and having them called on me (when I wasn’t in the wrong…but regardless, the big old lurch sat there berating me until the police came and they were not happy with his having done that and told him the same – that once he called them he shouldn’t have continued going off on me). Nothing productive comes from continuing to engage at that point. I think you’re totally justified in your feelings, though, for sure.”~squideastOG
“NTA. Unfortunately, or fortunately, you do not take BS like this and you try to handle it on your own. Those of us who do not take BS sometimes come off as a little brash but the truth is we just want what is right and we want it immediately. The only thing ruined was their reputation to their ‘fans’. These trespassers sound like a couple of snowflakes. I would not give them, or the situation, another thought. Keep up the good work.”~Radman571
Reddit agrees-there is no way OP could have been at fault here.
And by talking to them she was able to ascertain their intentions and their states of mind before getting the police involved.
Way to go, OP.