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Guy Accuses Hospitalized Wife Of ‘Causing Drama’ During An Important Soccer Match

Men watching soccer game at a bar
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At the halfway point through the FIFA World Cup, emotions are heightened as fans keep track of their favorite teams and root for them to take the prize home.

Like all sports, fans are showing off their priorities, and some of them are a bit shocking, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

Among the worst had to be Redditor femalesaddle’s story of how her husband blamed her for missing the game when she needed to go to the hospital.

But because of how adamantly he blamed her, the Original Poster (OP) couldn’t help but question herself, despite her medical needs.

She asked the sub:

“AITA for causing drama during an important football game?”

The OP recently had to go to the hospital because of appendicitis. 

“Last weekend, I (Female 27) ended up feeling a wee bit poorly with what turned out to be appendicitis.”

“We were away for the weekend with my partner (Male 39) so I had surgery at a hospital 3-4 hours away from home. I had a small complication during surgery so I had to stay until Wednesday (yesterday).”

“My partner returned to work on Monday but he came back to pick me up.”

“The timing was bad because there was an important football game yesterday, and it was really important for my partner to watch it.”

“I am not English so I don’t quite ‘get’ the importance but it’s a big deal for him and so important, I wanted to make sure he’d see the game.”

“I suggested booking a room near the hospital so we wouldn’t miss it due to the drive, but he wanted to see the game at a friend’s place. He said he’d make it.”

The OP’s husband was in a hurry to get to his game. 

“While we were waiting to get me discharged he was getting agitated because it was taking a long time. He had to wait outside so he was in his car the whole time because of restrictions at the hospital.”

“After a couple of hours, he sent me a text that he had to leave or he’d miss the game.”

“I begged him to not leave and reminded him I could book a hotel.”

“But he left without me and luckily made it in time to see the start of the game.”

“He said he’d come to pick me up tomorrow (today) instead.”

“The hospital wouldn’t let me stay another night or leave alone. Luckily, one of my friends came to get me in the end. She didn’t get to the hospital until late and we got back to London around 2 AM.”

“The whole time, I was trying to call and text my partner, but he only said we could talk about it today.”

The OP’s husband also was not interested in speaking with her during the game.

“The whole evening, I was texting and calling my partner, ever since the moment he left me at the hospital.”

“He only sent me one WhatsApp back that said he’d pick me up later but wanted to see the game.”

“When I got home in the night, he was so angry at me. He said I was the most selfish a**hole for constantly ringing and texting him during the game and that I ruined the game for him and embarrassed him in front of his friends.”

“He said he cannot even look at me and that I bring so much drama with me, it’s humiliating to him.”

“I feel at a complete loss. I think I might be the a**hole for not understanding the cultural significance of football and asking my boyfriend to do a completely unreasonable drive to pick me up.”

“But on the other hand, we could have watched the game in a hotel room and I wouldn’t have been left alone in a hospital in another country.”

“AITA?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some could not believe the husband’s order of priorities.

“I cannot imagine being such a fan of anything that I would abandon someone I care about to go watch something on TV at a friend’s house.” – shawslate

“Get out of this ‘relationship’ NOW.”

“You are NTA. Your ‘partner,’ however, is a world-class giant AH.”

“He put a game over you! A game!! He wasn’t playing in it, he wanted to watch other people play a game, leaving you stranded at hospital, and THEN he had the AUDACITY to be mad at YOU for interrupting his watching a GAME.”

“DUMP HIM NOW!!!. You mean nothing to him and he is proven that.”

“You don’t have a partner, you have a monster.” – ThrillDr1

“I am English. Yes, it’s coming home and it’s an amazing achievement for our country, but I would NEVER abandon my partner at the hospital just so as not to miss the first minutes of the game.”

“He could have listened to the radio whilst driving you home until he could join his friends.”

“He is unbelievably selfish. You can not depend upon him when you need him so he is definitely not  partnership material.” – Haunting-Aardvark709

“S**t, I’m super passionate about the Raptors, and the year they won the championship, I had no time to watch the finals games because of the upcoming midterm week.”

“If I can choose to focus on my midterms, you can choose to focus on your wife who has been hospitalized. He clearly doesn’t care about her.” – tekkers_for_debrz

“That’s the thing. We live in a world of technology. He could have recorded it, stayed at a hotel, or maybe watched it online.”

“But no, he couldn’t be bothered to change anything in the least. He wanted to watch with his boys, which was more important than making sure his girl had a safe way home.” – nononanana

“What’s crazy to me is that he didn’t try to work around it. My SO (significant other) would never do this, but if he did we would plan something ahead of time to make sure he could go to his friends and that I was picked up and taken care of (like my sister getting me and having a sister day). That said, he’d STILL be blowing my phone up checking on me…”

“I get that some can be quick to jump to ‘dump him!’ But this is a major red flag and OP should really think about how she feels about her rank in his life.”

“There are only a few things I would expect my SO to place above me, and football is certainly not one of them.” – Atypical_Mom

“OP, please think about this:”

“1. he abandoned you in another town with no way home (that he knew of when he chose to just leave).”

“2. he told you a game is more important than you are.”

“3. he told you his friends are more important than you are.”

“4. he told you his pleasure is more important than your needs or feelings.”

“5. he is angry at you for being upset about 1-4.”

“6. he has convinced you that 1-5 (his anger at being called out!) are your fault, taking no responsibility for his selfish choices and bad behaviors.”

“Please please leave him, and get therapy to help you relearn that YOU ARE IMPORTANT too.” – Fiotes

Others were side-eyeing “big fans” of soccer for their questionable behavior. 

“I just want to point out a statistic that I saw shared before the game yesterday.”

“Domestic violence in the UK when the partner’s team loses goes up by over 40%. When the team wins, it goes up by 26%.”

“Essentially, if they’re aggressive, rude, and put you in danger around game time, run. Run now.” – peachesthepup

“100%. Not to mention, at 39 years old, the dude is approaching mid-life crisis territory, which could mean increasingly heinous behavior toward OP. Obviously not a given, but a real possibility, especially considering he’s already shown no regard for her safety/wellbeing.” – KidFlashB03

“OP is dating a middle-aged English football fan and is almost 20 years his junior… even if he hadn’t abandoned her at a hospital to watch the match I would still be screaming for her to get out of this relationship.”

“From the way it started, I assumed OP was in the US and the boyfriend was an expat but he was in the UK and could’ve watched the match bl**dy anywhere.”

“OP is NTA at all.” – StarlessCircus

“I’m English. NTA.”

“Your partner is a huge a**hole.”

“You can watch games on replay, you can watch games on your phone. If your partner NEEDS help to be discharged from the hospital safely then a football game should never take precedence. He sounds horrible.”

“I’m not even going to address him being angry with you because you messaged him during the game, because it’s so far out of line that it makes me furious.”

“I think you should seriously consider whether you want to continue this relationship given how little he appears to care for your wellbeing.” – FatStoic

“Your boyfriend wanted to watch a game on tv. He’s not an athlete playing the game. No game is more important than picking someone he’s supposed to care about up from the hospital.”

“He left you stranded while recovering from emergency surgery, hours from home, to watch a game. And he got mad at you for his disgusting selfishness and screwed-up priorities.”

“Your boyfriend chose to watch a game with friends over your health and safety.”

“NTA and it is time to throw the whole man away.”

“This isn’t a cultural importance of sports thing, this is a your boyfriend is a terrible person thing.” – 7thatsanope

The subReddit was absolutely furious on the OP’s behalf that her boyfriend had prioritized a game he could have watched from anywhere over the health of his partner, not to mention the fact that the OP was questioning herself.

A person’s priorities say a lot about their personality, but it speaks volumes about who they’ll be in a relationship, as well, and the boyfriend’s priorities weren’t saying anything good about him.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.