Content Warning: Consent, Fake Nudes, AI-Generated Fake Nudes
Using AI has been incredibly popular lately, and those who find it to be problematic are about to find yet another reason to edge against it: deep fakes.
Specifically, deep fake, sexually explicit photographs, without a partner's consent, or even as revenge on an ex, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor avaisigfruit was shocked when her boyfriend reached out to her, thoroughly pleased with himself that he had used images of her to create deep fakes of her.
But when he also enhanced those photographs to make her body more to his liking, the Original Poster (OP) couldn't help but feel creeped out and betrayed by her boyfriend.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting for being creeped out that my boyfriend is making AI-genderated fake nudes of me without my consent and is saying that I need to be enhanced?"
The OP's boyfriend's latest act left her shocked.
"I (19 Female) found out last night that my boyfriend (25 Male) has been using some AI app/website to make fake AI nudes of me."
"He literally sent me one like, 'I enhanced your boobs to F-cups and added pokies,' and was acting like it was some kind of funny gift?"
"When I said it doesn't even look real (it was glossy/fake looking), he straight up admitted he found a site that lets him make NSFW edits and now he can 'enhance me however he wants.'"
"He even said, 'I just really like big girls and want yours to be HUGE.' So he's basically saying I'm not good enough, right?!"
Here is the first screenshot from the conversation:
The boyfriend texted the OP, along with an example image:
"I enhanced [your] boobs to F-cups and put [new] pokies (nipples) on [you]."
"Look how hot [you] are, babe!"
The OP was insulted and confused:
"How are [you] even making this? I thought [Chat GPT] didn't allow naked stuff."
"And that doesn't [realy] look like me... Too glossy and fake."
"I'm a natural beauty."
The boyfriend continued:
"I just like seeing what [you] would look like with HUGE woobies (breasts) and pokies (nipples)."
u/avaisigfruit/Reddit
Here is the second screenshot from the conversation:
The boyfriend continued:
"I found a site which allows NSFW."
"I can enhance [you] however I want now."
The OP didn't like where this was going:
"Sounds evil."
"Why do I need to be enhanced?"
The boyfriend insisted:
"I just really like big girls and really want [yours] to be HUGE, sorry babe."
u/avaisigfruit/Reddit
The OP was shocked by the interaction.
"I don't know if I'm crazy, but this feels so violating?? I didn't ask for this, and it's weird knowing he's basically creating fake p*rn of me."
"He swears it's fine and that I should take it as a compliment, but it honestly made me so uncomfortable and undervalued."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some were alarmed by how immature the OP's boyfriend was.
"'WAHEHEHEHE!' Jesus." - baroquian
"'Woobies and pokies.' He is 12 and this is middle school pranks, right? He sounds very worldly for a 25-year-old. 19 and 25 usually do not mix since the 25-year-old is usually too mature for someone nineteen but in this case, you need to find someone more mature."
"What is a pokie? Is that how the two of you talk to one another." - RevolutionaryAd851
"Reading this, my uterus grew back from my hysterectomy just so it could grab my ovaries and throw them and itself into a vat of toxic waste. Get out of there, OP." - Smurfy378
"If OP really wanted to be petty, she could just say that she wishes AI could enhance a few things on him, as well, so that he could start to measure up so that she could be finally satisfied… but the mature play here is to just walk away. This guy is for the bin. What he did is cruel and he's too mature to realize it." - MooseKingMcAntlers34
"Grown man using baby talk in normal conversation... gross, slight recoil, reflecting on the choices that led me to this relationship."
"Grown man using baby talk to make a sexual reference... projectile vomit, instant vaginal dryness, existential crisis." - OldManJimmers
"Pokies. POKIES?! I recoiled and mouthed the word too, because it's so weird. It's what would happen on an awul date for Carrie or Samantha (from 'Sex and the City') and they'd talk about it the next day."
"I've had tons of lovers over my lifetime and I know a 25-year-old man with the maturity of a 13-year-old boy if I've ever seen one."
"He's peaked emotionally, he will never mature past this guy making pictures of girls with humongous 'boobies' with 'outtie pokies.' I almost made myself gag, writing that. He's gross." - MsMoreCowbell828
"Seems like you're underreacting to me. At a minimum assume he's uploading nude photos of you into the program and into the hands of someone else."
"Those nudes are part of the AI algorithm forever now. I'd freak out if a partner did this to me." - COALATRON
"I'm just imagining how many other photos of her he's uploaded without her consent. The internet is forever and this is a huge violation of trust OP! He is NOT worth staying with. You are enough just as you are and I'm sure a thousand other normal men would agree." - Spirited-Lime96
Others agreed and urged the OP to end the relationship as soon as possible.
"Girl, don't embarrass yourself any further by staying with this weirdo. Leave as soon as possible." - Justinas16_b
"Everything about this is completely disgusting. His behavior is foul. The fact that AI will do this is foul. Get this creep out of your life." - icecoldbe
"God, he's texting in a gross baby voice to downplay it and make it sound cute and playful. Foul is the correct word. Get that foulness out of your life." - ChoreomaniacCat
"I can't imagine a single thing OP finds attractive about this man. The things he put into words… that'd have killed the relationship before it ever started."
"So unattractive. Like. Revolting. How do you find this man worthwhile when he's such a natural repellant?" - forethemorninglight
"1. Age gap, definitely a little suspect."
"2. Not cute, not funny, very rude, for a few reasons."
"3. He might just be a f**king idiot who's bad with words, but he's signaling to you that he'd like you better a different way."
"4. You're right to feel violated. He took intimate images of you, uploaded them to a website, then turned you into p*rn he likes better… it's off, it's odd, and you probably shouldn't continue to be with him."
"5. Your nudes are now also forever part of the AI database. Whether they're 'real' or not."
"Imagine if he shows his friends, because it's you but not actually you, so he isn't sharing your nudes? (This is just a what if.)" - idreamofmnemosyne
"Please ask him to delete them all and let him know it's absolutely NOT with your consent... I wonder if some state laws that counts as unsolicited nudes and/or revenge pr0n if you decline and all for removal... And he doesn't."
"Second please do yourself a favor and leave this creeper. You're a teen and obviously not consenting to this. If he didn't get the hint, I'd be this only escalates." - altagato
"Girl... RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE. That's super weird. Absolutely not!"
"1. He should love you the way you are. If he doesn't and uses AI to 'enhance' you, then f**k off? What the f**k."
"2. Normal people would never do this.... just fyi..."
"3. He can use these pictures after you break up for revenge corn..." - Defiant-Watch-121
"This is seriously DISGUSTING and pretty sure there are some laws against it in certain circumstances. Either way this guy is absolutely nasty."
"He talks like an eight-year-old and clearly doesn't find you attractive in your natural state. A person doesn't do this to somebody they love. This is a huge red flag." - Ok-Soup-514
"On the bright side, in a couple years when people are telling their dating horror stories, you are absolutely going to win. But don't create anymore stories with him, OP; get out."
"Also, tell everyone who will listen that you left because he made weird AI p*rn of you so he can't use your nudity as revenge." - mrs-sir-walter-scott
"Having been the girl who has dated a 25-year-old at 19; break up with him. He will continue to push this idea that your body isn't perfect the way that it is because it doesn't match his fantasy."
"Considering that this is the only one that he has shared with you, he likely has more. Not to mention him doing that is illegal. It's called deep fake pornography, especially since he did this without your consent; if I were you, I would get away from him."
"He's likely going to continue this and it is going to be detrimental to your mental health if you stay with him. Even if you stay with him, and he says that he won't do it again it's still gonna be a thought in your head. If he cannot appreciate you for how you are then he is not deserving of you." - PoisonedCandie
The subReddit was alarmed by how the OP had been treated by her boyfriend and urged her not to put up with the behavior any longer, or else he might do something else that the OP would regret.
Woman With Cerebral Palsy Livid After Husband's Doctor Questions Why He Married Her
In the search for comprehensive medical care, people may have tough conversations about their lifestyle, work, relationships, and other potential stressors.
But a doctor can only make so many decisions on behalf of their patient, cautioned the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor _lucky96 was seeing the same doctor as her husband, so their doctor was aware of both of their medical histories and needs, including her having cerebral palsy.
But when the doctor brought up her condition during her husband's latest appointment and questioned their marriage, the Original Poster (OP) was appalled and wanted to find a new medical care provider.
She asked the sub:
The OP had cerebral palsy and a full life.
"I have cerebral palsy. It mainly affects my walking, but I can walk independently and live a pretty normal life."
"My husband and I have been together for three years and have a blended family with five kids altogether. Three of my kids aren’t biologically his."
The OP and her husband just started seeing a new doctor.
"We’ve both recently started seeing the same general practitioner (GP)." I’ve seen him about three times now and generally thought he was helpful."
"I had noticed he seemed very interested in my disability and would often ask questions about it and whether I had support, but I assumed he was just being thorough."
In the OP's eyes, the doctor crossed a line.
"Today, my husband had an appointment with the same doctor for stomach issues."
"During the appointment, mental health apparently came up as part of the discussion, but the appointment itself wasn’t for mental health."
"I wasn’t in the room because I was outside with our daughter. According to my husband, the doctor asked him, 'Why did you marry your wife?'"
"My husband said because he loves me, and then the doctor apparently said something along the lines of, 'With her disability and five kids, that’s a lot to take on. You realise when she’s older, you’ll have a lot to do as she ages.'"
"My husband thinks I’m overreacting because they had been discussing different stressors in his life, and believes the doctor was just talking about responsibilities and support systems."
"I understand that possibility, but I can’t get past how hurtful it feels to hear my disability described as something my husband 'took on' or as a future burden he’ll have to manage."
"The doctor also said, 'Not many men would do what you do, you’re a good man.'"
The OP was upset about the conversation her husband shared.
"What bothers me most is that the conversation wasn’t even about me, and I wasn’t there to respond or provide any context."
"I feel like the comments reduced me to my disability rather than seeing me as a wife, parent, and person."
"Am I wrong for being upset by this and considering raising it with the clinic, or does this sound inappropriate?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that the doctor's comments were highly inappropriate.
"That’s highly inappropriate. You are NOR." - Direction_Physical
"NOR. You are not overreacting at all. That was completely inappropriate and dehumanizing."
"You’re his patient’s wife, not his patient, while your husband is in that room. Bringing up your disability and five kids during your husband’s stomach appointment had nothing to do with his care."
"Saying you’re 'a lot to take on' and 'not many men would do what you do' frames your marriage like a charity case, and you like a burden instead of a partner."
"That’s ableist, unprofessional, and a violation of basic boundaries."
"It makes sense that you feel reduced to just your disability after hearing that."
"Raising it with the clinic is absolutely reasonable. You deserve a doctor who treats you as a whole person, not a problem for your husband to manage." - DaringDuvet
"This makes me so stabby. I’m non-verbal and have right-sided weakness."
"We were married 29 years before it happened, and the number of people who think my husband needs a medal and a parade for sticking around..."
"Don’t get me wrong. My husband is one of life’s truly good dudes. But seriously?" - sorenelf
"This is infuriating. He's a good man because he didn't ditch?"
"When my mum was diagnosed with cancer that wasn’t going to do the polite thing and get fixed, the amount of applause for my dad not leaving her was astounding."
"He was horrified at first, but that wore off pretty quickly, and he just started calling it out. That made quite a few people squirm in their own discomfort."
"It says a lot about someone who thinks a natural choice is to bail." - BasicLingonberry9914
"NOR in the slightest."
"Even if we assume good intent and the doctor wanted to make sure there are safety nets and supports in place for both of you, that has NOTHING to do with the question of why your husband married you."
"I would absolutely file a complaint, and if you both can, find another general practitioner." - ooooohcakepudding
"NOR. I have severe Aphakia, and if my specialist looked at my husband to remind him he's going to be growing old with someone who is likely going to go blind, I think I would die."
"My husband had been through h**l and back with me and my eyes long before we got married, so he knows what he signed up for. And it isn't the doc's place to sort out. Super duper unprofessional." - Global-Nature2420
"So at first, I thought you were overreacting. I am a mental health provider, and a doctor discussing stressors and very real-life situations happens all the time."
"The minute you added the part that 'not many men,' things changed. He took what could have been a normal conversation and changed it to his personal feelings, which is absolutely disgusting."
"NOR at all. I would file a complaint." - Trash_Human92
Others pointed out that it was an important conversation to have, though the doctor could have been more delicate.
"While tough, this isn't an inappropriate conversation to have if the stress is causing his health to deteriorate."
"The truth is not inappropriate. I think the way he worded it was a bit much, but not what he said."
"It appears to me the OP is not dealing with how her disability is not just about her, but everyone, etc. For example, my cancer was also stressing my loved ones out." - Total-Ad886f
"I was having panic attacks in the middle of the night due to my husband's health and lack of care. So when he finally started seeing someone in my same doctor's office (but not the same doctor), it was SO much better."
"My doc and the nurse have been really, really concerned about my mental health, so they were happy to hear that he's taking his health seriously and improving, because that means that I am sleeping more and my mental health is better, and that means my ability to manage my own chronic pain and health issues has been better."
"I was not coping at all and barely able to function." - popchex
"The doctor may have mentioned OP in the conversation with her husband if he was trying to ascertain if he had stressors that may contribute to his stomach issues. Sure, your spouse, children, work, and parents can be considered stressors at times in anyone’s life."
"For me, where he crossed the line was when he decided just how OP’s condition will impact the future."
"Firstly, OP is obviously capable of caring for everyone, including herself and children, with minimal, if any, assistance. As OP ages, more assistance may be required, but this may also be the case for her husband, too, as he ages. The responsibility of the children will not be a factor, as they are adults."
"So the doctor’s predictions are presumptive and unnecessary. Health is not guaranteed for anyone. We all will face various challenges to our physical abilities as we age."
"What I would take up with the clinic is why he felt it necessary to ask the husband why he married OP. To additionally state because of that, ‘He was a good man’ is grossly inappropriate and unprofessional."
"There is potential for an ongoing issue to arise if OP were to continue seeing this doctor. His bias toward her husband may very well influence any care she may need in the future. NOR." - Cool-Blackberry-785
"It doesn’t make sense because if your husband was talking about how stressed he was, why would the doctor bring up more reasons he should be stressed? Or if he didn’t seem stressed enough, is the doctor then going to be like, 'Consider how stressed you’ll be in X amount of years'?"
"It sort of sounds like he’s saying something like, 'Why would a man do that?'"
"The only exception I’d give is if your husband had some sort of health thing he’s completely ignoring, and the doctor was trying to give him a wake-up moment. Because then, they sort of have to be blunt to make you realize you need to prioritize your health. But simply being stressed isn’t enough to start saying, 'Why did you marry your wife?'"
"Whenever it’s women in your husband’s position, they just get told they’re an awesome rockstar. No one questions WHY they do it."
"NOR. You should find a doctor who makes you feel supported, and you feel is better overall."
"I wouldn’t make your husband change yet. It is hard to find doctors you like. Maybe when you establish with a better doctor, he’ll switch, too." - imwearingredsocks
Since the OP's husband went to the doctor to discuss stomach issues and likely how to remedy them, it's reasonable that the subject of possible stressors would come up, so the husband could avoid those stressors and improve his symptoms.
However, some Redditors felt that also including details about his marriage and fatherhood in the conversation was crossing a line, and while being a care provider to a spouse could be stressful, many felt it was being addressed from an ableist perspective instead.