It’s safe to say that social media has its advantages and disadvantages.
For one thing, social media is a way to keep our nearest and dearest up to date with our lives much more quickly than a letter or even a phone call would.
On the other hand, people might find things out about you through social media that you’d rather not.
All because of one person’s post.
The mother-in-law (MIL) of Redditor Unsure_6219 loved nothing more than to post pictures on Facebook.
Including pictures of the original poster (OP), which they did not always appreciate.
However, one recent post pushed the envelope too far for the OP, leading them to consider forbidding their MIL from ever posting pictures of them on Facebook ever again.
Concerned this might be unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Would I Be The A**hole” (WIBTA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“WIBTA? MIL creating AI photos of me.”
The OP explained why a photo of them that their MIL posted on Facebook tipped them over the edge:
“My husband and I have been together for 5 years.”
“My MIL has always been very into posting on Facebook (at least 1 post a day), she even used to post FOR my husband when he was a kid/teen.”
“Very often, when we send her photos of ourselves, what we’re doing, or anything noteworthy, they get posted on Facebook without our knowledge.”
“Sometimes I’ll go on Facebook and see photos I had no idea she had taken of us.”
“She has around 2k followers but posts everything completely publicly anyway.”
“It’s always made me uncomfortable, but I never thought it was a problem before now.”
“My husband and I have been busy with new jobs and haven’t been able to make the trip to see his parents together since the Holidays (he’s gone without me, but I have an odd work schedule).”
“Yesterday, I got a call from my parents asking if I had made the trip to see their family.”
“Looking at Facebook, MIL had created an AI-generated photo of us watching a football game with them, all in matching Jerseys.”
“This bothered my husband too and he offered to text his mom and ask her not to create anymore AI photos of us.”
“I’ve always had a great relationship with MIL, and she’s always been very kind and understanding, so neither of us expected her to take that poorly.”
“She did.”
“She told us we were ungrateful for her, that we have always hurt her feelings when we ask for no pictures, and that we (and especially me) are too sensitive and should just let her post what she wants.”
“My husband is also uncomfortable with the way she is acting and draws the line at AI photos, but says we can deal with her normal posting habits.”
“I thought I had a say before in what gets posted, but now I’m uncomfortable with the whole situation.”
“Am I the a**hole if I start telling my MIL no to posting pictures of me? (Outside of family photos and reasonable things)”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP would not be the a**hole should she ban her MIL from posting pictures of her on Facebook.
Everyone agreed that not only was the OP’s MIL invading her privacy, but also putting her safety at risk:
“NTA.”
“She has an addiction to the attention on Facebook.”
“Call her or meet up with her personally.”
“No more photos sent to her.”
“No more AI-generated content.”
“Is she doesn’t comply, weaken contact so she faces consequences for her actions.”- Poison-Hot-Chocolate
“NTA.”
“Ask her if she understands the concept of identity theft, consent, and spreading false information.”
“Your privacy and identity are yours and yours alone, and this would be the hill I die on.”-MissIncredulous
“NTA and you can report the photos.”- cydril
“Your mother-in-law‘s manipulating your emotions to duck with your identity and identifiable characteristics.”
“This can have implications for your personal information, privacy, financial security, and, if she gets malicious, your personal and professional reputation.”
“Imagine her AI-ing you at a raging keg party, getting sloppy drunk in a negligee or some such.”
“You are NTA.”
“Your mother-in-law is absolutely crossing every kind of line that there is in terms of personal identity and privacy… all for likes and clicks on Facebook.”
“For all you know, she is monetizing you right now, or is planning to monetize the family.”
“You’ve got to ensure she never gets pictures of your kids.”- Positive-Hat-7839
“NTA.”
“It’s your pictures made public for the world to see.”
“Unless you don’t mind (which you do), she has no business posting you to her social media.”
“AI makes it even worse.”- Pissed_With_A_Boner
“NTA.”
“I would be tempted to out her AI slop to her followers.”- Donutsmell
“NTA.”
“She has no business posting photos of anyone who is uncomfortable with it.”
“Certainly not posting them publicly.”
“She also has no business taking photos of others unknowingly.”
“Let alone manufacturing computer-generated images that don’t reflect reality.”- cheekmo_52
“NTA.”
“Stop sending her pictures, stop allowing her to take pictures, period.”
“Block her on your social media, of course.”
“Perhaps you can contact a lawyer to see if they can provide you with a sort of ‘cease and desist’ letter to help her understand that you are serious.”
“Your MIL has issues; she needs to step away from social media.”- hadMcDofordinner
“NTA.”
“I work in cybersecurity and vehemently against putting mine or any of my family in AI photos.”-hoagie-pierogi
“NTA.”
“My MIL is the same.”
“THE CRINGY SH*T THAT WOMAN POSTS ON FB!”
“For our wedding, she asked to post pictures the photographer had made, we said yes of course, thinking she‘d choose some of her and us… no she posted THE ENTIRE Album!”
“My family was so pissed, because they hadn’t seen any of it, and she posted pictures OF THEM without their consent.”
“We would send a photo to the groupchat of something we did, only for her to post it on our behalf, kids having a romantic weekend!'”
“A couple of years ago, we had a falling out; now she posts as if I don’t exist.”
“We go to a waterpark, FIL sits right next to me, husband and SIL are in the pool together, that woman made a story, her enjoying the sun, pan to my husband and SIL having fun, pan to my FIL – AND CUT!”
“Or she congratulated my husband’s birthday with a wedding picture where she clearly cropped me out.”
“Instead of taking one where he was alone to begin with.”
“I honestly can’t tell which is more annoying, the posting without permission or the passive-aggressive cropping out.”
“I guess the weaponized posting on Facebook is what‘s actually annoying.”- Responsible-Ad3015
“NTA.”
“Report the posts and have them taken down.”- CurlyGurl_Bee409
“NTA.”
“Once someone shows you they operate outside the normal parameters – you have to assume from that moment on that they will continue to do so.”
“So were I in your shoes, I would make the boundary no more posting images of you at all.”-opine704
“NTA.”
“You can report the posts to FB/Insta to get them taken down.”- Dogmother123
“Nah, this is 100% something I would rip her a new one for and at the risk of no contact.”
“NTA.”- Lady_Fel001
“NTA.”
“If you don’t like Facebook then you can protest by deleting your account.”
“At least then there is no link or annoying notifications. Generally, I find Facebook postings to be a cesspool of sh*t I disagree with.”
“Why bother with those annoyances, they add nothing to life.”- xoxoyoyo
“Absolutely NTA.”
“This is weird behavior. For starters, children should NEVER be posted on public profiles.”
“The world is a dark, evil place.”
“Secondly, photo apps like that often store your photos and use them nefariously.”
“This is not a personal preference; this is a safety and consent issue.”
“Btw, your husband never should have asked if you wanted him to text his mother.”
“He should have done it.”
“That is placing the emotional burden on you and making you the scapegoat.”- cantsleep_thoughts
“If I were in your situation, I’d lower or even cut off all contact.”
“And as soon as kids are involved, she won’t get to see them until my/our huidelines would be followed.”
“NTA.”
“This is a huge invasion of your privacy.”
“Please don’t take this lightly.”- DynkoFromTheNorth
“NTA.”
“AI sucks.”- mathurprateek725
“NTA at all.”
“It’s pretty violating to create AI photos of a person without their consent, let alone post them.”
“She is CREATING a representation of you that isn’t real.”
“Can you talk to her kindly to help her understand that?”
“It’s one thing to post pics of you all the time without knowledge—still kinda violating, but I’d chalk it up to her just being excited and proud of her family and expressing it in a dumb way.”
“But creating AI pics of you and presenting them as if they’re real is essentially the same as making up stories about you.”
“It’s just a strange and icky thing to do.”- lostmyoldscreenname
Some people want to use social media to gain attention and recognition.
Even so, they should only do so using pictures and videos of themselves, and not of anyone else.
If the OP’s MIL doesn’t consent to the request, AI-generated photos may be the only ones she gets of the OP and her son for quite some time.