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Self-Conscious Teen Humiliated After Aunt Gives Her Birthday Money To Join Weight Watchers

A woman standing on a scale.
Karl Tapales/Getty Images

It’s not easy to tell a loved one that they need to make changes to their lifestyle.

Even if deep down, it’s a message they need to hear. There is a time, a place, and a way to share this with them, and it must be done with love and support.

Taking them by surprise with this message or doing so in front of people who have no need to hear it will likely not be successful.

The aunt of Redditor Sensitive-Table-928 constantly felt compelled to make light of a personal struggle the original poster (OP) was going through.

Eventually, the OP’s aunt did offer to help her overcome this obstacle.

Unfortunately, she did so in a less-than-sympathetic manner, which the OP did not appreciate at all.

Having concerns about their reaction, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for refusing my birthday gift because it was a weight watchers subscription?”

The OP explained why they were less than appreciative of the birthday present they received from their aunt:

“I turned 18 (female) yesterday, but it seems to have caused a bit of drama in my family, so I’m asking for honest, objective opinions on whether I’m wrong.”

“For reference, my weight has always been made fun of in my family.”

“My aunt specifically has always been very unkind and fat-shamed me, even when I was younger and struggling with my body image.”

“She used to tell me that my clothes looked so small on me and that even her clothes are probably small for me.”

“She used to remind me to go on diets constantly.”

“I’m currently 320lbs if it adds context.”

“I hadn’t seen my aunt in a while, and for the most part, I was really glad to see her for my birthday.”

“I was slightly dreading if she would say anything to me because I’m aware I have gained a lot of weight since I last saw her, but she just made a few comments, so I thought it was the end of it.”

“I was opening a birthday card she gave me a few hours later, and it had money in it, with a note that said ‘money for Weight Watchers, make some real change for once’.”

“This was humiliating, and I asked her about it, and she said that she could tell I was miserable and that I probably look really good underneath the fat.”

“She said this in front of my parents, and it was very embarrassing.”

“I told her I’m not accepting the gift and she’s making me look stupid, but she said that she was just worried for me and my health.”

“I don’t believe this; she’s made fun of my weight for years, even before I was a teenager.”

“But my parents think I was overreacting, and I should’ve just accepted it.”

“My aunt has a notoriously big mouth, and my parents think she’s going to tell our whole family, so they’re getting kind of worried about what I’ve done.”

“AITA?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing their aunt’s present.

Nearly everyone agreed that the OP’s aunt was rude and insensitive, with many pointing out that if she were actually concerned about the OP’s health and well-being, she would have been much more proactive years earlier instead of making fun of her that whole time:

“As a fat person myself at 295lbs, I am aware I’m overweight.”

“People don’t need to bring it to my attention.”

“I’m petty enough I’d mail back the card, with the money and note telling her to go to hell and not to bother with me anymore, I’d rather have nothing than her constant judgment.”

“NTA.”-Remember-Glass-A**

“NTA.”

“Absolutely NTA.”

“She has amply applied salt in the wound for a decade.”

“Consider:”

“‘I considered buying you an award for sustaining ‘Lack of Tact’ and ‘Body Shaming’ for 10+ years but instead I’ll return your gift so you can buy something to pre-occupy your thoughts and actions since I’m no longer accepting your shaming insults.”

“or…”

“‘I donated your birthday money gift to a local animal shelter because dogs have more empathy than you’.”

“….c’mon sub….what else could OP state?!”- DesertSong-LaLa

“If you wanted to join weight watchers and she wanted to support you with money, and she did it privately then that would helping you.”

“To do this in front of your parents was NOT the way to do it.”

“NTA for calling her on it.”

“Good luck to you in your future.”- hikergirl26

“NTA.”

“That wasn’t a gift. That was an insult with a bow on top.”- copper-feather

“NTA.”

“I’m so sorry, OP.”

“No one should be shamed like this.”

“My mother fat-shamed me under the guise of ‘caring about my health’ for decades.”

“I finally melted down at her and told her that my weight was off limits.”

“I would hang up the phone if she started in on it.”

“I lived about 1,000 miles and three states away for my sanity.”

“After years of therapy I finally lost 115 pounds.”

“But I only ever gained weight when she was up my butt about it.”

“I’m still heavy, but I’m not ashamed of my body anymore.”

“I had to find the grace to love myself fat before I could lose any weight (and keep it off).”

“OP, I’m not saying ‘lose weight’, your journey is yours and yours alone.”

“What I will say: Love yourself, and do not take the shame others try to give you.”- Mysterious_Peas

“Absolutely NTA.”

“I’m glad you’re an adult now, since you can decide what kind of boundaries you want to set with your toxic aunt.”

“Being family does not give her the right to insult, shame, or belittle you.”

“Also, I hope your parents wake up to the situation and see that they should have supported you more when this happened.”

“I believe in assuming good intentions, but your aunt’s previous behavior has made it clear this was NOT a well-intended gift.”

“Good on you for not losing your temper and blowing up at her; you showed a lot of self-control!”-Jolly_Cartoonist_258

“NTA.”

“Even if she does genuinely care about your health, this was an incredibly cruel horrible way to show that.”

“I’m sorry OP.”

“Happy belated birthday, I hope you had some enjoyment on your day.”- Emergency-Baby-5266

“NTA.”

“I think I would keep the money and tell the aunt you have a better way to lose weight.”

“You plan to lose (Insert whatever she weighs here) pounds by cutting her off from your life.”-Cezzium

“Your parents are worried she’ll tell family?”

“What can she say that won’t make her look completely villainous?”

“Even if they agree to her face, she will get serious side eye for giving you such a vicious, tone deaf ‘gift’.”

“NTA.”- Alia_Explores99

“Wait, 320lb that’s 22 stone & you’re only 18.”

“Sorry honey but that’s clinically obese & is really worrying especially with you being so young too.”

“Your aunt is a massive AH for the way she has treated you over you weight issue but sweety it is a serious issue.”

“Being that weight will have serious consequences with your physical health (& mental health).”

“Though they/she has gone about it in completely the wrong way they do have a point.”

“You can’t keep putting on weight the repercussions are to extreme, especially with you being so young.”

“You may not like this but you need to serious think about getting some help with your weight but not because they’re shaming you (the a**holes) but because you deserve to be a healthy weight to enjoy your life.”

“Please consider getting help (not from your family) but from professionals that can help you lose the weight in a healthy way without putting you down or shaming you.”

“NTA.”- Green-Dragon-14

There were, however, a few who could understand where the OP’s aunt was coming from, feeling that the OP’s weight was, indeed, a very serious concern, even though they also agreed that the OP had every right to be hurt and upset by her actions:

“NAH but 320lbs at just 18 is . . . Concerning.”

“Maybe your Aunt went about it wrong, but she is NOT wrong to be concerned about you.”

“You don’t have to do Weight Watchers, but you DO need to start thinking about your health.”

“You are on the fast track to heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, joint problems, etc.”

“Your family has the right to be concerned about your morbid obesity.”

“Down vote me to hell please.”- SadPanda207

A birthday is the one day someone has a year where they deserve nothing but love and kindness.

Neither of which the OP’s aunt provided in her present.

Perhaps the OP’s parents just wanted to avoid causing drama within the family, but one can only hope that they eventually see how hurt and embarrassed the OP was by her aunt’s present.

Maybe then the OP’s parents will finally put an end to something they should have nipped in the bud years ago.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.