Naming a baby can be a very special process.
Parents often want it to have a perfect fit.
And the use of certain types of names has evolved over generations.
Some people even make up completely new names.
This evolution doesn’t always sit well with family.
Redditor LengthinessOk1528 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my I[n]-L[aw]’s to leave me out of their dispute over future child/grandchild’s name?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m (25 F[emale]) recently married to Josh (27 M[ale]) and I have a good relationship with his brother Tommy (30 M) and Tommy’s wife Lily (30 F).”
“For this reason, when they found out a month ago they were expecting a boy, they asked me if I would be okay with them naming their son Logan. Reason?”
“My name is Logan and they didn’t want to make me feel any kind of offended or annoyed that they were using the name too.”
“I told them I had no problem with it at all.”
“Lily said the name was always on their list, but my joining the family made it sweeter.”
“They decided on the full name a week or two ago, and they announced it over a family lunch on Sunday.”
“S**t hit the fan immediately.”
“M[other]-I[n]-L[aw] and F[ather]-I[n]-L[aw] asked them what they were thinking naming their son after a woman.”
“They expressed a lot of displeasure about my name being a boy’s name traditionally. “
“But said the name was now directly linked with me, and their grandson should only be named after men.”
“Josh told his parents they were being ridiculous and wouldn’t they be glad Logan was being reclaimed as a boy name in the family if they were so offended.”
“They said it was still on a female in the family now.”
“Tommy then tells his parents it’s not their decision and the only person they would have accepted criticism about the choice from is me, and I had no problem with them using it.”
“They said they should care about how it looks.”
“Tommy said it doesn’t look bad in any way.”
“That people won’t care today. It escalated.”
“Lily tried to calm them down by saying their Logan would love being named after his amazing (and only) aunt.”
“For whatever reason, my ILs decided that I needed to step in, and they told me I should make it known I am no longer okay with another Logan and I should do it for him if nothing else.”
“I kept eating through most of this, so I wasn’t involved at all.”
“I just said I was good, thanks.”
“But they didn’t like that and pressed the issue.”
“Josh told them it was nothing to do with me.”
“ILs said it was because Tommy and Lily made it my problem.”
“Tommy and Lily apologized to me over ILs.”
“I said it was fine.”
“But please leave me out of it.”
“I gave my blessing.”
“I won’t take it back.”
“But ultimately, the naming is not my decision.”
“Tommy apologized again.”
“My ILs said I can’t stay out of it when it’s my name.”
“I said not just mine, though, and then went back to eating.”
“ILs were not happy with my request to be kept out of it.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Of course NTA.”
“But you learned an important lesson (you may have already known).”
“You NEVER share the name until the kid is born.”
“I learned the hard way like your B[rother]-I[n]-L[aw]/S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw].” ~ ParticularBanana9149
“To be frank, this is the one time I would share the name before birth, because otherwise, this exact same conversation would have occurred, only with added post-natal hormones and sleeplessness for the new parents.”
“NTA OP, your ILs are unhinged.” ~ ZippyKoala
“NTA… little dude could just as easily be named after Wolverine from the X-MEN.”
“ILs need to get a grip. He’s not their child.” ~ biohazard221
“NTA. And not gonna lie, I had this hilarious image in my head of you sitting there eating a bowl of cereal while staring at the TV while this was all going down.” ~ Moonydog55
“NTA. Your in-laws are absurd.”
“If they’re upset with their grandson being called Logan because they think that your existence makes Logan into a ‘girly’ name, that’s on them.”
“They can make their case, and win or lose on their own merits.”
“Trying to persuade you to lie about your opinion in order to help them ‘win’ is evil scummy dirtbag behavior.”
“They are liars without a shred of honor.” ~ _mmiggs_
“NTA, I bet they wouldn’t bat an eye if grandpa was named Joseph and BIL and his wife decided to name a daughter Josephine.”
“But heaven forbid the genders be switched.”
“And the whole point of the name having been on their list before OP was in the family is lost on them.”
“They aren’t naming the baby after OP, instead, they simply share a name.”
“People need to get over their belief that they can control what others name their kid.”
“And the whole ‘they stole my baby’s name’ trope… name your kid the name you wanted anyway.”
“Too bad, so sad if there are two babies named Edwina-Rose Starshine Smith in one family.”
“Using the fake outlandish baby name, not one from a real AITA.”
“It’s not like there isn’t a long history of people passing a family name through generations anyway.” ~ BluePopple
“NTA – ILs clearly have not been told ‘No’ enough in their life.”
“They appear to be the only ones with a problem.”
“They should direct their problem to the nearest brick wall or angrily shout it to the nearest cloud.” ~ bestbobever
“So let me get this straight.”
“Your in-laws can’t control their son (nor should they) so they’re attacking you since it’s been made clear you and only you have veto power?”
“Bahahaha NTA. Your parent in-laws are.” ~ Dry-Reception-2388
“NTA. My younger brother is a Logan, my daughter went to school with 2, one female and one male.”
“My male partner’s name is Leslie.”
“It’s a name for God’s sake.”
“I and many other people have legally changed parts or all of our name for whatever reason.”
“Names only have the genders we assign to them.”
“Find it funny these same people who complain about boy/girl traditional/original names were some of the first generation to give their kids gender non-conforming names.” ~ NaturalPossibility25
“No of course you are NTA.”
“You gave your blessing, that is what counts.”
“Your ILs just need to suck it up and get with the times.”
“They are throwing tantrums about nothing and making a joyous occasion less joyous with their moaning.”
“Please tell Tommy and Lily to ignore them, and I hope they get a happy, healthy little Logan.” ~ Eva_Roos
“NTA. In-laws want you to be the bad guy for them, good for you refusing to accept the assignment.”
“And it sounds like the parents-to-be have their heads on straight too.”
“The older generation is just going to have to fulminate in their own bile.” ~ CatteNappe
“These people are absolutely unhinged.”
‘Not the expectant parents, the grandparents.”
‘This is absolutely NUTS.”
“The only people who get a real say are mom and dad, you know, the people having the baby.”
‘The only time I said anything about the names my children had picked was in cases of extreme tragedies.”
“I urged them to consider they were naming a human, not an animal.”
“They asked around, found out I was right, and adjusted.”
“Where I won’t say the names publicly, let’s just say they were bad, like super bad.”
“It’s worse than a nightmare name.”
“Not even Tim Burton would name his characters like this. NTA.” ~ emptynest_nana
“NTA and ask them if they’ve really never even heard of Wolverine.”
“But in all seriousness, ask them if they care so much about public opinion and fitting in, to see how many boys have been named Logan in the last ten years.”
“The overwhelming majority of them are boys.”
“Oh, that’s different because that’s out there, not home in here, with us?”
“Ok then, so we’re back to my word as a Logan, and I’ve already made my choice.”
“But the point is that they’re not going to suddenly become logical when they’ve made it very clear that they’re making emotional statements.”
“Tell them that you’re not going to have the conversation again, and mean it.”
“Get up and walk out, hang up the phone, ignore the texts.”
“You don’t have to even tell them why, just remove yourself from the conversation every time.”
“Even deaf dogs learn commands eventually.” ~ Forsaken_Woodpecker1
“NTA and you handled it perfectly.”
“Your BIL/SIL were decent to ask for your blessing for using the name.”
“You are right to stay out of this drama.”
“It’s not your business.’
“It’s not your child.”
“I would keep repeating that any time your in-laws try to bring you into it.”
“‘I already gave my blessing. I’m not taking it back. It’s not my baby, It’s not my body. I want no part of this.'”
“Wash rinse repeat.” ~ SubstantialQuit2653
“You and your husband need to have a long hard talk about whether you want these people to be involved in your life in the future and in potential future children’s lives.”
“They sound toxic as hell and I would NOT, I repeat would NOT, want them around my children to influence them at all.” ~ colorsofautomn
“NTA, but hopefully you learn a lesson – don’t share the baby’s name until the ink is dry on the birth certificate.” ~ MooseInteresting3906
“NTA. This kid is not going to care or might actually love that you share a name!”
“It’s not like the kid will get made fun of or anything- who will know his aunt’s name is Logan too?”
“It sounds like the family might stay pissy about it, but you should be left out of this fight.”
“It’s just another way they can try to insult you.” ~ StarWars-TheBadB_tch
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You gave your blessing. And besides that, this is not your fight.
Keep sticking to your guns.
Good luck.