Not everything about being best friends with someone is sunshine and laughter. Sometimes you have to be brutally honest with them, especially if they’re doing something wrong, like cheating on their partner.
But a real best friend would never make up a rumor that could potentially ruin their life, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor mycutemia went on a business trip and noticed that her best friend was acting strange around her, only to find out that she had made some assumptions about her during the trip.
When the Original Poster (OP) returned home and found out her best friend had approached her husband, accusing her of cheating during the trip, she felt her world crumbling around her.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for not forgiving my best friend after she told my husband that I was cheating on him?”
The OP had a wonderful circle of friends until a recent business trip.
“I (30 Female) have been married to my husband, Alex (32 Male), for five years. We have a good, solid relationship and trust each other completely.”
“I’ve always been very close with my best friend, Emily (29 Female), and we’ve been friends since high school.”
“However, recently, our friendship has been put to the test.”
She wasn’t sure what to think of Emily’s behavior during the trip.
“A few months ago, I went on a business trip for a week, and during that time, I noticed Emily was acting a bit strange.”
“She seemed distant and wouldn’t respond to my texts as quickly as usual, but I didn’t think much of it. I figured she was just busy with her own life.”
The OP was shocked when she found out what Emily thought of her.
“When I came back from the trip, Alex confronted me about something that completely threw me off.”
“He told me that Emily had contacted him while I was away and accused me of cheating on him.”
“She claimed that she ‘saw the way I was flirting with someone’ at a work event and that I had been texting other guys in a way that seemed inappropriate.”
“I was absolutely shocked and devastated. There was no truth to what she said, and I couldn’t understand why Emily would tell Alex something like that.”
“I’ve never once been unfaithful, and I had no idea where she got these ideas from.”
Emily didn’t have a good explanation for her actions.
“I confronted Emily, and she admitted that she had seen me talking to a male colleague at the event, but she took everything out of context.”
“She said she ‘didn’t like the way he was looking at me’ and assumed something was going on.”
“I was furious. Emily had never said anything to me about her concerns, and instead, she went behind my back and accused me of cheating.”
“I told her that I couldn’t trust her anymore and that I needed space.”
“She apologized, but the damage was done. It felt like she completely betrayed me and violated my trust.”
The OP wasn’t sure what to do when her friends challenged her actions.
“Now, some of our mutual friends are telling me that I should forgive Emily, saying that she was just looking out for me and that she was worried about my relationship.”
“But I don’t feel like I can ever get past what she did. I’ve tried to move on, but every time I think about it, I feel so hurt and betrayed.”
“AITAH for not forgiving my best friend after she told my husband I was cheating on him?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some theorized that Emily was only looking out for herself and trying to get with the OP’s husband.
“NTA. Something tells me Emily has the hots for OP’s husband.” – FloMoJoeBlow
“The first thing I thought when I read this was ‘that friend’ is so desperate for OP’s husband that she didn’t hesitate to lie and leave doubt in OP’s husband’s head and since she saw that it didn’t work and they didn’t believe her, she wants OP to be her friend again. The truth is that person is a scumbag of a friend, makes me think she wants OP’s life.”
“OP, if you read these I am so sorry for what you went through, you deserve to have a better friend. You are doing the right thing in not forgiving her, cut contact with her, and tell her the truth, you can never trust her again.”
“Consider getting people out of your life who insist that you forgive your friend, if she had insecurities she should have talked to you. Maybe I exaggerate a little, but next time ‘your best friend’ will do her best to have your life destroyed, be careful.” – Rude_lovely
“If Emily were really ‘looking out’ for OP, she would have had an actual conversation with her before going to her husband.”
“No, she’s looking out for the husband… to be vulnerable… so she can pounce…” – RoutineAspect8116
“Trust is essential in any relationship, and Emily violated that in a major way.” – lovelydaisyglow
“NTA. And drop any mutual friends, as they are her friends. She went to your husband with nothing.” – Cybermagetx
“If I were the OP, I would not forgive the friend and I would suspect that she had an ‘unusual’ interest in ‘protecting’ the husband… not the friendship or friend by clarity and information. Not just the hots for the husband, it may also be an intense envy regarding the wife, and she wants to ruin some things for her.”
“Don’t forgive her, why would you anyway when she didn’t even act as a friend to you… so, no loss. Best of luck.” – Organic_Ad_2520
“Emily didn’t like the way the guy was looking at the OP… As if the OP is somehow responsible for the actions of other people… As if the OP personally invites people to ogle her…”
“Emily seems like the type to blame a victim of leading their attacker on based on that view.” – PresentationThat2839
“The f**k?! If Emily was so concerned about the way the guy was looking at her friend, she would have gone up and borrowed her friend away from the suspected creeper. NTA, OP. Emily would be out of my life, too. She clearly has other intentions.” – bunnybunnykitten
“Forgiveness is your choice, and it’s okay if you’re not ready or never feel ready to move past this. Your feelings of betrayal are valid, and those who tell you to forgive her may not fully grasp the impact of her actions on your life.” – pinkrosebliss
Others agreed and were worried Emily was trying to break the OP’s marriage.
“Oh, she definitely wants the OP’s husband…”
“It is a difficult decision to go behind your friend’s back, even if you have proof because a) it is possible that even with proof, the partner might choose not to believe you or hear you out; b) you know that would be the end of your friendship; and c) people/friends, etc., will accuse you in case of a divorce.”
“She risked all these without any proof. Because the husband is worth it.” – FunctionAggressive75
“NTA. I fully believe she is after your husband. She wants to break your marriage.”
“Keep that in mind and watch an eye on her. Don’t have any contact with Emily. Don’t forgive her!” – QuietWalk2505
“I find it funny how she said this to your husband while you were out of town. Seems Emily was hoping Alex would need her shoulder or other parts of her to comfort him. She’s going after your husband. Get ahead of this now.” – MadameBananas
“NTA. If Emily was truly concerned about you, she would have pulled you aside and talked to you about what she perceived to be happening. The fact that she went to your husband, and your husband alone is shady as f**k.”
“Either she is jealous of your marriage because she has a thing for your husband, or she’s jealous of your husband and was trying to sabotage the relationship so you would go running to her for support.”
“Life is too short to surround yourself with people who are not true friends.” – Federal-Wolverine-52
“NTA. Emily is no friend, get rid of her because trust me, she is trying to get rid of you so she can move in on your husband. Good luck, and hopefully, your husband doesn’t fall for her games.” – Jolly-Thanks6332
“‘She was looking out for you’?”
“We all know who can’t wait to accuse you, even with zero evidence: The person who can’t stand you.”
“Your mutual friends are a) either stupid or b) they know exactly what’s happening or c) are eternal peacemakers (aka selfish AF) who only care about maintaining the group status without much fuss.”
“NTA.” – FunctionAggressive75
“NTA, and your ex-best friend burned the whole village down. She could have talked to you and made you aware of how the person was looking or acting around you. Instead, she comes up with your cheating and goes to your husband when you’re NOT CHEATING.”
“That is not something you can come back from.” – RaptorOO7
“Definitely NTA. If Emily was so concerned for your relationship ahead of time could’ve and should’ve come to you directly, not accuse you of cheating with no proof and going to your husband.”
“She was more worried about your husband than she was you, your marriage or your friendship. She was absolutely not looking out for you like your friends are claiming.”
“Where are you and your husband at with this now? I hope Emily didn’t succeed in planting doubt in his mind and that you and your husband are doing well.” – jacksonlove3
The subReddit completely understood why the OP was so shocked by what her husband had to say to her when she returned home from her business trip, and they couldn’t imagine this ever counting as “looking out for a friend.”
If Emily had really been looking out for the OP, she would have confided her concerns to her, not approached her friend’s husband while attempting to comfort him.
It was clear where Emily’s loyalties are, and they are not with the OP.