For a lot of people my age, the words “clown doll” always conjure up one horrifying image.
As well as a fear of what’s under the bed.
All thanks to a certain evil clown from the 1982 film Poltergeist.
But doll makers and figurine manufacturers still make these creepy curios. So clearly, someone likes them.
A fan of clowns turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
EndFlimsy5850 asked:
“AITA for telling my girlfriend to ‘Suck it up’ around my clown figurines?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“Me (26, male) and my girlfriend (24, female) have been dating for 2 years. Since we started dating, she’s KNOWN that I love clowns.”
“I have several porcelain clowns displayed around my house on walls, hung from the ceiling on little swings, and on shelves.”
“I have a hutch full of clown things like old noses, horns, dolls, etc… I have the artwork she got me on the wall, I have 2 swinging clowns in the corner of the living room (they’re around 1 foot tall and they swing from the ceiling), and a bunch of magnets.”
“I do have a few clown-themed things throughout the place, like my cookie jar. I adore these weird little creatures.”
“Well, last week, I bought 2 Venetian masks from the thrift store, and they’re in GREAT condition (I got them for a decent price, too). She HATES them. She said they’re creepy and give her ‘bad vibes’—whatever that means.”
“I told her that I would take down the masks when she’s staying the night, but I’m not getting rid of them. She told me that was fine.”
“Yesterday, she got up and told me that we needed to talk.”
“She told me that she’s sick of seeing my weird decorations and clown toys everywhere. That they’re ugly and creep her out.”
“I asked her where this was all coming from because she has NEVER MENTIONED MY CLOWNS BEFORE and she said me ‘bringing those ugly f*cking masks into our home was her last straw’ and ‘my obsession with clowns was charming before, but now it’s just disturbing’.”
“She has bought me little clowns before! She found a print of 2 clowns kissing at an art fest she went to and she picked it up for me.”
“I told her that I would take down the masks when she was over.”
“But, 1. This isn’t OUR home. It’s MY apartment. And 2. She’s known about the clowns for years, and to try to stop me from decorating my place how I please is controlling.”
“She told me ‘Either get rid of some of them or we’re done’. I told her to just ‘suck it up’ while she’s here. And if she can’t then I’ll come to HER place every week.”
“She didn’t like that answer and called me a child before leaving. I texted her to apologize for telling her to suck it up about the clowns. But she hasn’t responded to me.”
“So, am I the a**hole for telling her to ‘suck it up’ about my clown figurines?”
“I know that it’s a weird hobby. I was more caught off guard by her telling me to get rid of some of them after 2 years of us being together.”
The OP later added:
“I wanted to clear up some things I saw in the comments. I had a small collection started by my grandparents when I was a baby.”
“That’s where I got my first swing jester. The collection has grown in the last 2 years to expand to commons decor and not just dolls.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I told my girlfriend to ‘suck it up’ about my clown decorations. But it upset her and it seems harsh looking back.”
“I’m starting to think that I should have just had a conversation about WHY she didn’t like them and see where we could have gone from there.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. As someone who isn’t into clowns, but loves Venetian masks, I can understand being creeped out by some of them. However, her turning this on your entire interest for clowns that you’ve had your whole relationship makes her the a**hole.”
“Also, if she’s giving you ultimatums over how you decorate your own space based on your own interests, she’s not the one. There will be someone who will appreciate your collection, if not add to it themselves.” ~ Fun_Effective6846
“Good thing you found this out about her now. It isn’t going to last. You’re NTA right now, because it *is* your place, but if the relationship progresses, you’re likely to have a place together, and then she won’t allow it, and you’ll be right back at this point, but with more feelings.”
“Better to cut bait now and both get on with your lives. Find someone tolerant who doesn’t care what your hobby is, and you can put up with her creepy 18th-century gothic porcelain doll collection too.” ~ Relevant_Turnip_7538
“You two don’t sound compatible.” ~ wackyvorlon
“NTA, like what you like, but I don’t actually know anyone who wants to live in the creepy clown house so don’t be surprised if you have trouble finding another girlfriend…” ~ alien_overlord_1001
“Nah, he’s gonna find a freak with a clown fetish, and they’ll live happily ever after.”
“And yes. That’s a real thing.” ~ BetterFightBandits26
From a purely pragmatic point of view, this is your apartment, and therefore, you have every right to decorate it in the way you want. That is not controlling at all.”
“You would be controlling if you wanted to decorate your girlfriend’s apartment with clowns. From a relationship point of view: you are just not compatible.”
“If the presence or absence of decorative objects is such an issue in your relationship that ultimatums are involved, I shudder to think how you both will manage when far more challenging issues come up.” ~ plantprinses
“NAH. She obviously has no right to tell you how to decorate your own home, but she also is probably thinking about the future and wondering about compatibility.”
“If I started dating a guy with a clown collection like this, I’ll be real, I’d hate it from the second I saw it. But at the beginning, you don’t know where the relationship is going, and you’re also aware that having not been together long, you have no right to interject your opinions on their own space, so you don’t.”
“But I think after two years and it becoming apparent that this isn’t going to become less of a thing for you, I’d start to worry about when we live together that our house is going to have to be covered in clowns and I’d hate my own home and it wouldn’t feel like mine.”
“She’s probably having these kinds of thoughts and trying to find out just how important and how far this clown thing goes so she can see if she’ll be able to live like that.”
“It’s all fine when you live separately, and it doesn’t impact my own home, but the goal of a relationship is to live together at some point, and maybe you two need to have a serious conversation about if you can compromise on making the space something you’ll both feel at home in, but I don’t think either of you are an a**hole.” ~ StrictAngle
“NTA. But you guys do not sound compatible.”
“I have coulrophobia (a fear of clowns), and I could see a universe where a younger me would just go ‘That’s my issue that I got to deal with, and I really want to support my partner in their hobby and not make them feel bad about a thing they love’ if I met someone collecting clowns that seemed amazing in all other ways.”
“But that isn’t really tenable in the long run, and eventually something’s got to give. You love clowns; she really doesn’t, and it turns out to be a bit of an insurmountable difference between the two of you.” ~ Slight-Progress4414
The OP provided an update:
“She saw the post. She read the comments. And called me today. She wasn’t too happy about being called the A**hole, but she apologized for being controlling.”
“Turns out she wanted to ‘see if I’d get rid of my collection if it meant keeping her’. Like it was some relationship test.”
“She did really hate the Venetian masks and didn’t like that they are hanging above my bed.”
“I told her that if it came down between her NEEDING me to get rid of them/sell them for expenses, then I would, of course, do that. But I’m not just going to get rid of my collection because someone says so.”
“She asked if we could move on from this, and I told her no. I don’t like that she tried to test my love by asking me to get rid of my collection.”
“She left. We’re officially broken up now.”
“On the bright side, I can fill my house with more clown dolls. I even found a music box online that I might get.”
“Thank you, everyone, for helping me figure out that I wasn’t in the wrong. And to those saying I’m a serial killer for owning clowns, I’ve read quite a few comments from people collecting dead things.”
“So I think I’m in the clear on that.”
It’s unfortunate that this relationship ended, but play games with someone’s heart and you have to be prepared to lose.
Hopefully OP’s ex learned something from this.