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Jobless Woman Irate After Boyfriend Insists She Leave Home Seven Hours A Day So He Can Work

Man working from home
Morsa Images/Getty Images

It’s no secret that it takes a lot of work to get to the “top” when starting your own business or growing a substantial income.

But many people forget just how easy it is to lose sight of what’s really important in life, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

Redditor throwaway89348593479 was trying to create a better life for his family and his girlfriend by working day and night, every day of the week.

When it began to impact his relationship with his girlfriend, the Original Poster (OP) began to wonder about their future together, despite what he was trying to do for her.

He asked the sub:

“AITA for asking my girlfriend to leave the house for six or seven hours a day?”

The OP was stressed about providing for his loved ones.

“I (24 Male) am Canadian and have been in the US for 10 months, where I have been living with my American girlfriend (25 Female) for seven of those months.”

“My time in the US is almost up, and I’m stressing about having to return to Canada”

“For one, my family is reliant on me to make money to support my grandma and pay for her medical support. I also want to earn money to give my girlfriend, she deserves the world.”

“Because I have so many side hustles going on to earn money, I admittedly don’t spend a lot of time with my girlfriend, but I’ve always been open with her that I am not able to give her a lot of attention right now even though I love her more than anything.”

But the OP’s approach to getting his work done was questionable.

“My girlfriend lost her job last month, and as a result, has been at the house more often. We live in a one-bedroom and split the rent evenly.”

“She understands that I’m busy all day/night, but I don’t like when she’s sitting in the same room as me. Even her presence is distracting to me, she will try to start conversations and she’s not the cleanest, so I would ask her to go to the bedroom for the day while I worked in the living room at my desktop.”

“She was ok with that for a few weeks but began to complain that she was stuck in the bedroom. She says that since she’s paying half the rent, she has every right to be where she wants to be in the house.”

“I agreed. So, after a few big fights, we agreed she would leave the house during the day and I would leave the house at night.”

“Well, now she’s upset that she’s spending all day out of the house. Her car was in an accident last month and has been in the shop, so she’s been going to do work in the boba shop by our house.”

“Before anyone asks, I am not able to do the work I do during the day outside of the house, which is why I leave in the evening.”

But the negative aspects of the OP’s work arrangement recently escalated.

“Today, my male friend was over and was sitting on the couch, where my girlfriend usually eats lunch. I say couch, but it’s really an oversized loveseat.”

“My girlfriend went to go sit in her usual spot to eat lunch, and my friend started testing out his new phone by jokingly taking pictures of her feet.”

“I asked her if she could eat in the kitchen instead so she would have more room to eat. She went to the kitchen, but I could tell she was p**sed.”

“When I asked her if everything was okay, she said she was tired of me controlling her.”

“I think she’s being selfish and not considering that I need a certain environment to concentrate and get work done and that I am doing all of this for her and my family and one day I will be able to spend all the time in the world with her, but that right now I am really grinding and most strong relationships are built on sacrifice.”

“AITA for asking my girlfriend to accommodate my work schedule?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some thought the OP was being incredibly insensitive toward his girlfriend.

“YTA. Your girlfriend does not have to leave the house all work day. That’s ridiculous. You need to adapt or go to the library.” – Ok_Register3005

“I seriously do not understand why he keeps insisting he’s ‘doing this for her and his family’ while not providing one iota of evidence of what he’s actually done for her.”

“He manipulates her into moving in with him, doesn’t ‘let’ her move out when she’s wanted to multiple times, and now kicks her out of the home during the entire day for his convenience.”

“There is only one person who matters in this relationship.” – NanoPsyBorg

“This whole relationship just sounds exhausting! Good grief. He is definitely the ‘main character’ in this relationship. I bet she can’t wait until he has to return to Canada or she herself moves to Spain.”

“OP, YTA. Your girlfriend deserves to live her own life. You don’t need to ‘let’ her do anything. She is her own person and has a right to move out or sit in her own darn living room if she wants. What you are doing seems almost abusive and definitely controlling.” – Livid-Garbage8255

“The OP said, ‘My girlfriend went to go sit in her usual spot to eat lunch, but I asked her if she could eat in the kitchen instead so she would have more room to eat.'”

“This is insane to me. I’d never be able to tolerate anyone like that, who was THAT controlling?”

“This girl needs to get out of this relationship ASAP.” – chzrm3

“I thought it was weird that this woman’s presence in the house is such a huge distraction to him that she needs to either stay in the bedroom or vacate the premises so he can concentrate.”

“But he can have a friend over to hang out during the work day, sitting on the couch in the same room with him while he works, and that’s not a distraction? Totally makes sense!” – narniaofpartias22

“The OP’s like, ‘She is my possession, but it’s ok because I ‘LOVE’ her so much.'”

“Yeah, this doesn’t sound like love, bro.” – pearlsbeforedogs

“What exactly are his ‘side hustles’ that he has to do at night? And it seems like he’s perfectly fine having other people around him when he ‘works,’ just not his girlfriend.”

“It’s funny because he goes on and on and on and on about how he’s doing everything for his girlfriend and family, but I can’t find a single thing he’s actually done for his girlfriend or family, and he appears to be working all the time, yet he seems to be getting very little for all his time and energy.” – kia75

Others specifically took issue with how the OP handled the loveseat situation.

“YTA. It’s clearly not all about your work schedule since you shooed your girlfriend off just to hang out with your friend alone. Like she said, she pays half the rent, so it’s her house too. If you can’t stand to be in the same room as your girlfriend, why are you still with her?” – six_gram

“So you exiled your girlfriend instead of asking your friend to stop.”

“YTA. If you can’t prioritize a relationship with someone who pays equal rent, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. If my partner tried to kick me out every day for seven to eight hours a day, he wouldn’t be my partner anymore.” – Certain-Beyond673

“So, your friend is a creep and you punished your girlfriend for it by taking her to go to the kitchen, instead of telling off your creepy friend, then tried to cover for him by saying, ‘It’s just so you have room, sweetie,’ when she’d an adult who knows full well how much fun she needs to eat. Got it.” – scarletnightingale

“Ah, yes, punish her for your friend being creepy. I’m sure she feels very loved and valued.” – meangingersnap

“Why the F**K would you let someone like that into your home that you share with your girlfriend?!?! Why are you even friends with him? What the f**k is wrong with you?”

“Just go back to Canada and leave this woman alone, J*sus F**king Ch**st.” – NowATL

“So you made up a fake excuse to get her away from him, punishing her for your friend’s behavior, which by the way is yet another controlling weird thing if you can’t tolerate her being around other people with penises.”

“You’re pulling excuses out of your pockets and getting snagged on all the red flags you’ve got stuffed in there, my guy.” – Jezztinberlin

“Oh my god, what.”

“So your friend was behaving in a weird creepy way so you didn’t want him near your girlfriend… so you made your girlfriend leave instead of the creepy friend, and you lied about why pretending it was ‘just so she could have more space to eat’ when the problem would’ve been solved by making your friend stop being weird or asking him to leave.”

“You prioritized your friend over your girlfriend in her own home. You prioritize yourself and everyone and everything above your girlfriend.”

“I feel really bad for her since she doesn’t have a working car to be able to even go anywhere fun. Just wandering the neighborhood alone, hanging out alone at a boba shop, hanging out evenings alone at home, and other times when you’re actually there you send her to the other room to get her away from you and your friend.”

“YTA even more than I realized before.” – Sleeping_Lizard

The subReddit was absolutely furious for the girlfriend and what she was having to put up with while the OP was attempting to create a life for himself.

The OP was clearly taking the wrong approach to show his girlfriend how much she meant to him, by obviously prioritizing entirely the wrong things.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.