There are two types of people: those who share their food and those who absolutely refuse to share food.
In my family we frequently share food when eating in restaurants or when ordering takeout. My Sisters, my nibling, and I will order different meals then split them between us.
But we never eat off someone else’s plate without asking. But some people have no qualms about grabbing a bite of someone else’s meal.
A woman turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Intrepid-Low-4188 asked:
“AITA for having a go at my boyfriend when he ate the last of my food while I was in the bathroom?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“So, my boyfriend (24, male) and I (24, female) went to a restaurant for only our second time eating out together. This week has been really rough at work, and I asked him to go out for food, saying I needed a pick-me-up.”
“I mentioned I wasn’t super hungry since I had already eaten, but I was really looking forward to having some dumplings and soup—I even talked about how excited I was for the dumplings during the drive there.”
“When we ordered, I made it clear that I only wanted four dumplings and some soup. My boyfriend ordered two large mains for himself since he has a bigger appetite. When the food arrived, I shared my soup with him and tasted a bite of his food, but I was mostly focused on my dumplings.”
“When my dumplings came, I ate one before I needed to run to the bathroom. When I got back, he had eaten all of the remaining dumplings!”
“I was really upset because I had been looking forward to them and only got to eat one. I told him how disappointed I was and called him selfish, saying he never thinks of me. I asked him to pay for how much he ate since I had specifically wanted those dumplings.”
“I had already paid more than half the cost of the meal, and he had finished as much as he wanted to eat of his food. So I didn’t want to order more dumplings and stay at the restaurant any longer while he just watched me eat, so we left.”
“I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, but I feel like he should have asked before just taking them, especially since I had expressed how excited I was.”
“AITA for getting upset, calling him out for being selfish and asking him to pay more?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I called my boyfriend selfish and told him to pay me back more money because it might have been innocent and he didn’t think I wanted any more food because before we went I said I wasn’t very hungry.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“Who eats someone else’s food without asking? That’s ridiculous and rude. I hope you ordered some more dumplings and ate them before leaving the restaurant. NTA.” ~ Special_Respond7372
“You should not have to hide/horde food from your boyfriend. He should respect you enough to not touch unless offered.”
“If he is willing to do this in a restaurant, imagine living with him.”
“That special ice cream you buy for yourself? Gone. Those special chips you were looking forward to? Gone. Leftovers? Gone.”
“This man will eat you everything he has access too with zero thought about you or your feelings. Get out now before you invest anymore time in him. He does not respect you.” ~ bluerose1197
“A grown man shouldn’t have to be told not to take someone else’s food. I can’t even imagine, when there’s an odd number of a shared appetizer I would NEVER take the extra. The sheer nerve to take it when it was your meal is insane. NTA.” ~ Granticuss
“NTA. He didn’t even ask. He waited so you’d have no say in the matter. Kind of cowardly, no?” ~ Vandreeson
“NTA. Who the hell actually eats the rest of someone’s meal like that? That’s so gross and weird. Especially if he’d ordered a large amount for himself.”
“How long have you been in a relationship if this is only your second time eating out together?”
“Personally, I would make a big deal out of it, even if it’s embarrassing for him because he deserves to be embarrassed. He was selfish. Call him out.”
“If it were me, I’d dump-ling him. This is such a bananas thing for any adult to do.” ~ AsparagusWTweak
“It’s so weird. I feel like literal children know you don’t eat someone else’s food while they leave to use the bathroom.”
“Like, damn, if I can’t trust a partner with something as basic as my own food…. NTA, OP, for sure.”
“Though it does remind me of a post I read not long ago that was talking about how it was a bit of a ‘trend’ that some men eat all the food/eat their partner’s food as some kind of weird power play.” ~ Hareikan
“I don’t think he ate them because he was hungry—hungry people aren’t typically cruel unless they haven’t had any food and are hangry or literally starving.”
“I think he ate them because you were excited about them.”
“You need to look at the patterns in your relationship to see if there have been other times when you were excited for something (an event, a food, a show, an item) and he’s found some way to ruin it or keep you down. Or does he usually find ways to police what you eat, your portion size, etc…?” ~ Covert_Pudding
“NTA, but from the sounds of it, it’s also pretty early in the relationship.”
“Honestly, I’d dump him over the dumplings, girl. If he’s already starting to show a lack of respect for you this early it will NOT get better later on. Run.” ~ SnailsInYourAnus
“If this is just your second time going out, meaning this is him in a new relationship acting HIS BEST, I cant dare to think how he will be down the line!”
“Why are you even mentioning asking him to pay more, he should have not asked you to pay anyway – it’s not just being a gentleman, he was actually responsible for most of the bill!” ~ ThrowRAMomVsGF
“The rest of the info here is unimportant. You’d had a rough week, went out for food together to cheer yourself up, and he ate your food when you went to the bathroom.
“NTA. He ate two mains and some of your soup, then went on to also eat your dumplings. He’s either trying to push your boundaries, or he’s got some form of eating issue that needs looking into on his end.”
“If this is a new relationship, it likely won’t improve from here. Most people try to show their better side at the start, and if this is his, he’s really lacking.”
“He’s literally taking food from you and expecting you to be fine with it. Whether he paid you back the difference or not, keep an eye out for if this is a recurring pattern.”
“You express a boundary and he pushes / ignores it. If I was on a second date and they ate my meal before I got to enjoy it, I’d be rethinking things.” ~ TheGingerCynic
The OP offered some additional information and a bit of an update.
“Wow, this post really blew up. I’ve been reading through the comments as best as I can, as there are over 750 now, and wanted to give a quick update with more details for those of you who are curious.”
“So, first off, my boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 months now. We don’t eat out much because we’re both trying to save money, so we usually cook together at each other’s homes for date night. That’s why I was so excited to go out to eat dinner—only our second time doing so because he always works evenings and I work during the day.”
“I should’ve explained this better in the original post because my math didn’t add up. When I said I had 1 out of the 4 dumplings I ordered and went to the bathroom, when I had returned he had eaten the rest.”
“I wasn’t expecting to share them, but I guess he thought we were just sharing everything, including my dumplings. What gets me more though, is he didn’t even finish his own food.”
“I think a lot of you assumed that he did because I hadn’t actually originally stated this. He ordered those two big servings but then still finished my food first. Almost feels worse than if he was just a glutton.”
“So, when I went to the bathroom and came back to find he’d eaten all of them, I was really upset. I told him that I thought it was selfish and rude, and asked him to pay me back for the dumplings since he ate all of them without asking, which he did.”
“I didn’t want to order any more as he had finished eating as much as he wanted and I just wanted to leave because I was upset. To his credit, he apologized and acknowledged that what he did was inconsiderate.”
“He agreed it was selfish and that it was a pretty rude move. Although I’m still upset about it honestly.”
“I’ve also realized that this wasn’t just about the dumplings. There are definitely other little things that have been building up over time that made me more upset about this than I might have been otherwise.”
“But I think regardless of how perfect things might have been, I still would’ve been mad. It wasn’t just about the food—it was about feeling overlooked and like my excitement for something small was dismissed.”
“For now, I haven’t decided what I want to do moving forward. I’m still processing things, but he’s apologized, and we’ve talked about it. I appreciate everyone who commented—there was some really good advice, and I’m definitely taking it all into consideration.”
As OP stated, it was about more than three dumplings.