While some people can’t stand being the center of attention, others absolutely crave it.
Indeed, some people so relish being in the spotlight, that they almost can’t function when all the attention isn’t on them.
Often going to great lengths to bring the attention back to them however possible.
Even during occasions and events where the attention should very mich be on someone else.
Redditor and bride-to-be processphilly was very much looking forward to her wedding.
Mainly owing to the fact that all her nearest and dearest were soon to all be together in one place.
However, the original poster (OP)’s brother recently put a damper on her excitement.
Specifically, his decision to make the OP’s bridal shower all about himself.
Leading the OP to threaten disinviting her brother to her wedding, amidst fears he would do the same thing on her big day.
Worried that she might have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for Uninviting My Brother from My Wedding?”
The OP explained why her brother risked being excluded from her upcoming wedding:
“I (29 F[emale]) am getting married in a few months, and I’ve been working hard to make it a special day for everyone involved.”
“My brother (31 M[ale]) has always been very active in local politics, which has led to some heated family debates.”
“He’s currently running for a local office, and while I support his ambitions, his constant political talk has been a source of tension in our family.”
“Last week, during my bridal shower, my brother took it upon himself to make a surprise announcement.”
“In the middle of the event, he gave an impromptu speech about his political campaign, complete with campaign slogans and a request for donations.”
“The atmosphere immediately shifted from celebratory to uncomfortable.”
“Guests were visibly confused and annoyed, and some even left early.”
“After the event, I told my brother that his stunt was inappropriate and that I couldn’t have him turning my wedding into a political platform.”
“I explained that I wanted the day to be about love and celebration, not political agendas.”
“I asked him to either keep politics out of the wedding or to not attend.”
“My brother is furious, claiming that I’m trying to ‘suppress his voice’ and that I’m being unreasonable.”
“Our parents are also upset, saying that I’m being unfair and should accommodate his campaign because it’s important to him.”
“I’m feeling conflicted because I don’t want to create a rift in the family, but I also don’t want my wedding to become a political event.”
“AITA for uninviting my brother from my wedding after his political announcement at my bridal shower?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for disinviting her brother from her wedding.
Everyone agreed that it was extremely inappropriate for the OP’s brother to use her bridal shower as a place to solicit donations, with many even feeling the OP was more than generous with him by not calling him out on the spot.
“NTA.”
“There is a time and a place for most things, but your bridal shower was not the place for this.”
“Disappointed that your parents weren’t on your side for this.”
“If you REALLY want to re-invite your brother to your wedding, I would do the following:”
“Tell him that if he does ANY sort of political campaigning, he will be thrown out, and you are NOT kidding around.”
“If he does, get security to throw him out.”
“Warn your parents about this so that they know the deal.”- KateCapella
“NTA at all.”
“It’s your special day, not his networking event to spread his political campaign and make people leave.”
“If they really want to be so upset about it then they can stay home and miss the big day.”-jimboroughs
“NTA.”
“Your wedding is not the venue for his grandstanding, and you aren’t “suppressing his voice” to ask him to take his politics elsewhere.”
“Not sure why you didn’t put a stop to him at the shower immediately, though.”- ParsimoniousSalad
“NTA.”
“I am shocked that he and your parents don’t see how ludicrous his need to turn your wedding into his political soapbox.”
“I would not only not invite him, I’d hire security to make sure he didn’t show up and try to campaign.”- Ok_Conversation9750
“Send him a bill for the party.”
“His campaign donations can pay for it.”
“It was not a political event.”
“He hijacked your party.”
“I would uninvite him as well if he cannot control himself.”
“NTA.”- Catlady0329
“NTA politics have NO place at a wedding.”- DadShep
“NTA.”
“Him and your parents are.”
“Be ready to uninvite them as well if they continue to back him and make excuses for him.”
“This is your wedding, not a campaign stop.”
“If you haven’t already, get security for your wedding.”- ExRiverFish4557
“NTA.”
“Sounds like your brother is going to have a real successful career if that’s the way he treats people.”- SlightQuality1457
“NTA.”
“Look, brides can become bridezillas but you are not asking for anything crazy.”
“It’s supposed to be your day and he is clearly making this about himself, especially if he blows up over such a minor request.”
“You’re not telling him he can’t answer people when they ask him how it’s going, you’re telling him your wedding is not an appropriate place for a political rally (is your brother Trump by the way?).”
“If he wants to make it about himself you’re fine with telling him to go do it somewhere else.”-Ill_Umpire4711
“You shouldn’t let anyone sell Tupperware at your wedding either.”
“NTA.”- Traveling-Techie
“NTA – he’s unhinged.”
“Your parents are also TA.”- VinylHighway
“NTA.”
“Politics have no place at a wedding.”
“Why would anyone think it’s OK to ask for donations during a celebration?”- OmiOmega
“NTA.”
“Your brother sounds like an insufferable self centered attention seeking blowhard.”
“If he can’t keep from commandeering the spotlight, he needs to stay home.”- NoCod3769
“NTA.”
“You’re having a wedding, not a campaign rally.”
“He can’t behave appropriately for a WEDDING, then he shouldn’t attend.”
“Your brother is rude for turning your event into something for him.”
“Family is complicit for approving and not trying to stop him.”- Ducky818
“NTA.”
“You have given him a choice.”
“Given the state of everything it’s very reasonable to want to keep politics out of events right now.”
“Hope you have a wonderful wedding.”
“May the sun shine bright for you.”- Logical_Read9153
“NTA.”
“You expressed appropriate boundaries and your brother is only concerned with his campaign.”- m-e-k
“NTA hire security to keep him out!”
“If you relent and let him come he will ruin your reception by either a campaign speech or trying to network with all your guests.”
“Keep him out.”
“When someone shows you who they are; believe them.”- Super_Reading2048
“NTA.”
“The fact that he is so upset about it means he most definitely had something in mind for your wedding.”
“If he can’t control himself for one day, then he definitely shouldn’t be there.”
“That he would even do that at a private family event would make me not want to vote for him.”-ZombieMovieLover
“NTA.”
“He can campaign on his own time at his own events and I would seriously consider making sure if Brother is no longer invited having someone keep an eye on your parents so they don’t try anything either.”
“A wedding is hopefully a once in a lifetime event and it is not about your brother.”- Vhcadet
“NTA.”
“He has an agenda, and it will bulldoze over your day as he did with the bridal shower.”
“You do not have to accommodate his campaign.”
“He needs to respect voters and guests alike and know boundaries if he is to survive in the political atmosphere.”
“He probably lost potential votes with that stunt- that is what your parents need to understand.”
“He sounds off his rocker.”- CandleSea4961
A touched OP later returned with an update, thanking everyone who took the time to comment and giving a hint on how she planned to move forward:
“Wow, I’m amazed by the support and advice I’ve received!”
“Thank you so much!”
“I’m planning to have a heartfelt conversation with my brother to set boundaries and work towards a healthier relationship with my parents.”
“Your perspectives have been incredibly helpful.”
It goes without saying that running a political campaign is extremely challenging.
Even so, unapologetically using your sister’s wedding to further your campaign is the sort of behavior that makes people lose their faith in politics.
Hopefully, the OP’s brother will realize that putting his campaign aside for one night, so that his sister can enjoy her wedding, won’t be the be-all and end-all.
And he’ll save heated political discussions for the family dinner table, like every other family in America…