Weddings can be very expensive.
Not just for the happy couple and their families but for the attendees as well.
There is the price of the gift.
You might have to travel.
Money for one’s attire.
And, of course, the dreaded cash bar.
But the menu and snacks are usually covered.
So it can be a surprise when the waiter arrives with a hefty bill.
Case in point…
Redditor Historical-Warning31 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for leaving a wedding to eat at McDonald’s?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Hi, I’m F[emale] 25.”
“Recently, my colleague (F 31) invited me to her wedding, which happened yesterday.”
“I was super excited and happy for her.”
“Just in case, I asked her if there were any guest fees – she said, ‘No, you don’t need to pay me anything.'”
“On the day itself, everything went well until it the reception (dinner time).”
“To my shock, I was presented with a wedding menu that had prices on it. (For example: Steak —- $50).”
“Everything was ridiculously expensive, including the vegetarian options.”
“At first, I wanted to question her because, well, she lied to me that I didn’t have to pay for anything.”
“But it was her wedding, and I didn’t want to spoil her day by embarrassing her in front of everyone.”
“However, the only other option was to simply not eat, as I didn’t bring enough money for both a meal and a ride back.”
“But this was completely unfavorable as I had skipped my lunch to ‘save space’ for the wedding meal and was pretty hungry.”
“Suddenly, I remembered that I saw a McDonald’s about five minutes away from the hotel.”
“As tactfully as I could, I asked the bride if I could make a quick stop at McDonald’s as I didn’t bring enough money for the reception meal.”
“I said that I’d be back in time for the gift ceremony and cake.”
“I thought she’d agree, but to my horror – she got really upset.”
“She said that she put in so much effort to get this ‘Michelin-star restaurant service,’ yet I still wasn’t happy.”
“That I was trying to bring her down by saying that I’d rather eat McDonald’s.”
“Alarmed, I said that I didn’t mean it that way – I just didn’t have the cash for it.”
“She then scoffed, saying – ‘Who’s fault is that?'”
“Although I was trying to keep in my anger, those words really pissed me off, so I told her, ‘You were the one who lied that I didn’t need to pay anything!'”
“Getting angry as well, she replied: ‘What I meant was there is no attendance fee! You literally assumed that you’d get a free five-course dinner. Wow, you’re cheaper than I thought!'”
“With a glare, she asked me to leave her wedding.”
“I did, struck dumb and rather hurt.”
“(…And on my way home, I grabbed a Big Mac lol)”
“Back at home, I told my boyfriend everything and asked if I was an a**hole.”
“He thought it was a funny story but said I was an AH – if I didn’t have the money, I could always pay her back later.”
“In his exact words, he said, ‘You chose the wrong time to be stingy.'”
“My other friends agree as well, saying that it was not tactful of me for doing that at the wedding – and although she lied, I should have just brushed it off instead of dampening her happy spirits.”
“After hearing their opinions, I felt quite guilty and embarrassed.”
“However, that one little part of me still thinks that it’s justified because…”
“1) She lied to me, and…”
“2) Publicly humiliated me.”
“Please help me out. AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“I’ve never been to a wedding where the guests pay for their meal. NTA.” ~ Artichoke-8951
“I’ve known about events like birthday or wedding dinners that everyone knows is a paid event in advance, like at a restaurant.”
“But never one that charges people at the door by surprise.”
“What did other guests think, I wonder?” ~ RideOnMoa
“I was invited to a wedding where we paid for our own meals at the reception.”
“It was on the invite ($24 a head), and it said not to bring a gift cos we paid for the meal.”
“The couple found out they were pregnant right after getting engaged, so they wanted to get married before the baby came, but that didn’t leave much time to save for the wedding or the baby.”
“No one had a problem paying that – it’s a standard price for a main course here, not a 3-course meal.”
“Everyone brought a gift as well.”
“We knew exactly what we were getting into though – no nasty surprises.” ~ elgiesmelgie
“Yeah, my best friend had a cash bar at her wedding.”
‘Neither of their families drank anymore.”
“It was more or less for a few friends.”
“The invitations specified a cash bar, though.”
“No one goes to a wedding expecting to pay for the meal unless specified otherwise. NTA.” ~ weavs13
“I’ve been to weddings with cash bars but never had to pay for my meal.”
“I’ve even been to a wedding that was in a restaurant (a local place that’s on a boat).”
“Everyone ordered what they wanted from the menu, and the bride and groom paid for it.”
“I can’t remember if it was the regular menu or a specialized menu.”
“It was a small wedding, but we had so much fun.”
“I can’t imagine asking my guests to pay anything for my wedding.”
“They were kind enough to take time out of their lives to attend.”
“The least I could do was feed them.”
“Also, I don’t get why brides and grooms get so pissy about little things on their wedding day.”
“I paid a lot of money for my wedding, and there were things that didn’t turn out the way I wanted, but the only thing that mattered to me was I got to marry my best friend.” ~ Traveling_Phan
“Same. I’m planning my wedding right now with my fiancé and feeding our guests is the only thing that we are insistent on.”
“This was ridiculous.”
“If she hadn’t told you a lie about it, it wouldn’t have been as big a deal, but it is still bizarre. NTA.” ~ Fun-Office-2954
“NTA – But I think you handled it wrong.”
“You shouldn’t have asked her if it was okay to leave and get McDonald’s.”
“You should have done it and come back.”
“The bride/your colleague does sound like a bit of a jerk, and she shouldn’t have humiliated you that way.”
“I’ve never been to a wedding where I had to pay for my own food, and I’ve been to some cheap weddings and some expensive @ss weddings.”
“Next time, you’ll know to be prepared.”
“Also, did you buy her a gift?”
“Because if you didn’t and showed up to get a free meal, then you’re a bit of an a**hole.” ~ PhoenixxFoxx
“Yes. I had a wedding in my backyard.”
“I catered in food.”
“No one paid a dime except my sister, who was my matron of honor who bought a dress.”
“I gave her a color, and she could choose any dress or style she wanted.”
“I don’t understand why people get so weird about weddings.”
“Then again, my wedding was laid back, and so am I. NTA.” ~ fuzziestbunny
“NTA. I have never heard of a wedding where the guests are expected to pay for dinner.”
“Especially without any notice.”
“The Bride’s response is crap too.”
“‘Attendance Fees’ are not a thing at weddings.”
“You asked, and she said there was no cost.”
“The misunderstanding is on her.” ~ MasterK999
“I have never heard of a wedding having a menu where a guest had to pay for the dinner.”
“The bride and groom are a**holes for not having that put on the invitations for everyone to know ahead of time.” ~ Jewpacabreh24
“NTA. Never before heard of a wedding where you have to pay for the food.”
“If there’s a food fee, she should have told you, or it should have been clarified in the invitation.”
“I do think that you handle it a bit clumsily – you should have just gone to McDonald’s in secret and come back later.”
“When asked, you could just say you weren’t feeling well and didn’t want to eat.” ~ Rranranru
“NTA. I’ve literally never heard of a wedding where you have to pay for your meal.”
“I’m genuinely baffled she expected you to pay that, especially after saying there wouldn’t be a cost.”
“I mean, you definitely could have just slipped out quietly and not said anything.”
“But it sounds like she’s the one that escalated the situation afterward as well.” ~ Kore888
“NTA but… not tactful.”
“Never been to a wedding with any fees, so would have been appalled if this info wasn’t included with the invite.”
“(Questioning the Michelin rating for $50 a plate. Seems really low priced).”
“If you find yourself in a situation at a wedding, next time, consider talking to the Maid of Honor or another member of the wedding party instead of the bride.” ~ Stitch-point
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
You were thrown a curveball.
And it could’ve been avoided.
You have to eat and be able to afford it.
Hopefully, the bride and you will move past this.