When there’s a special event coming up, we tend to try to do everything we can to ensure that the event will be perfect.
But sometimes all that planning comes at the expense of someone else, maybe even one of our loved ones, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor thatdisney had already agreed to host her sister’s wedding reception on her rural property with her large barn, free of charge.
But when her sister wanted to use her home’s restrooms instead of portable stations and demanded she hide all of her “tacky” Disney decor so guests using the restroom wouldn’t see it, the Original Poster (OP) started to have second thoughts about the whole situation.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for not removing the Disney items from my house?”
The OP and her husband both loved Disney.
“My (35 Female) husband (38 Male) and I are what you would call ‘Disney adults.’ We used to work for the parks in college and met there. For us, it has sentimental value as well as being something we both loved from childhood.”
“Now, we consciously try to not be ‘those’ Disney adults. We can hold conversations outside the movies and parks. We both work well-paying jobs unrelated to the company. We have other hobbies and interests. Our son isn’t big on Disney and we’re cool with that.”
“It is just something that we enjoy, as well as our daughters. We nurture all of our children’s hobbies and interests. We also don’t blow all our money on this stuff.”
“I know I may sound overly defensive, but we get a lot of comments from people who don’t know us well.”
The OP and her husband also had a lovely rural property.
“Anyway, we live in a renovated farmhouse on a bit of land that includes a barn that we finished off, with hopes to make it a guest house one day.”
“In the meanwhile, we’ve had a relative get married here and it was gorgeous.”
“Now my sister (28 Female) wants to get married on our property, and we were all for it. Everything’s been planned for months and the wedding is in June. It’s set to be outside completely but if it rains, we can move the party into the barn.”
“The only reason a guest would have to go in our house is to use the bathroom. We have two on the first floor.”
The bride had some thoughts about the OP’s interest in Disney at her wedding.
“The only Disney items in the bathrooms are ‘Winnie the Pooh’ hand towels. I told my sister I’d replace them with regular ones. The wedding space has no Disney items.”
“However, she wants me to take down everything Disney on the first floor of my home, as guests will see them.”
“We have a lot of Disney items, pictures, paintings, blankets, Funko Pops, decorations, figurines, dishware, etc, all made for adults. A lot of it is subtle or vintage, but you can still tell it’s Disney.”
The OP had her reservations about the situation.
“One, this would be a massive undertaking. It’s not as simple as shoving stuff in a closet. We’d have to pack it up and find a place to store it. The sheer amount would require at least two hours of packing. Not to mention storage and unpacking after.”
“Two, it’s ridiculous to me. Who cares if people see?”
“She says it looks tacky and she doesn’t want people to remember her wedding for that.”
“I told her no. We’re decorating the outside and barn as she wants. We’re letting her use our property for free, which she keeps bragging about to friends as it’s saving them a ton.”
“When my husband and I stood firm, she whined to our parents, who told us to grow up and take it down.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the sister needed to move on and pay for a venue instead.
“NTA. Your sister doesn’t want her wedding to be associated with Disney? Your sister wants full control of the space and decoration? I have an idea! She should rent her own venue!”
“Seriously, enforce your boundary and say that’s as far as you’re willing to go. If she wants to change everything, she needs to rent a different venue.” – Fatigue-Error
“OP, this just gave me an idea. There are a few songs that could fit this situation, so be petty by making it your sister’s ringtone on your phone, or better yet, if you can get your sister’s phone, make it your ringtone there.”
“NTA. it’s your house. If she is so worried about people seeing Disney in your house, there is a very simple solution, no one is allowed in your house, and the sister can rent some porta potties. There, I fixed the problem.” – Environmental_Art591
“Your house is your personal space and that is a LOT of people traipsing in and out of your home using your plumbing and well water.”
“Porta Potties ensure that people are staying where they should stay and not invading your personal space. The fact that your sister is now trying to dictate the terms of use after you are already kindly agreeing to use of your property tells me its time for a VERY firm boundary and this needs to be it.”
“Tell her, ‘Hi Sis. I’ve given your demand to un-disney my house some thought. I understand you do not care for the decor, however, I have gone above and beyond to ensure that your needs and most of your wants are met. This is where I draw the line.'”
“And add, ‘So, to be fair to both of us, I believe it is time for you to hire a company to bring in some porta potties to ensure that there are appropriate sanitation facilities for all of your guests to both ensure my home remains private AND to ensure your guests are not offended my my disney decor. Please call (name your local porapotty company) here on Monday and forward me your contract so I know when to expect their arrival and can be here to meet them to ensure appropriate placement.'” – sometimesblessed
“You can rent nicer trailer version Porta potties that are used on film sets that have about five stalls in them. There are a few stairs up, so if any guests have mobility issues, it might be a problem.”
“Otherwise, OP’s sister needs to move on to plan B of renting bathroom facilities, before plan C of finding a new venue becomes a bigger problem than her generous sister’s Disney collection.” – stoicsticks
“Abso-freaking-lutely NTA. Happy to throw the party outside, even let them in the barn. But there is NO WAY on this green earth I’d let the drunk party friends into my house.”
“Let’s be real, there will be people OP has never met and will never see again. And those are the ones most likely to break or steal something…”
“Get some porta-potties, and if there are elderly or those with mobility issues then you can be the hero and let them into the house on a case by case basis.”
“NTA, OP. Your home is your sacred space. No one is ENTITLED to be in it, let alone take issue with how you decorate.” – pixiegirl3395
“Don’t let her argue tell her it is non negotiable after all she bought the wider family into this. As others have said some of this memorabilia could also ‘walk.’ Remind her that you are doing her the favour here and if she is not happy she is welcome to find another venue.”
“As for your parents tell them that you are grown own up enough to own your own home, be generous enough to loan to sister for her wedding and know that you are being disrespected despite your generosity. Perhaps they should consider their own maturity!” – myboytyds
Others agreed and found the bride’s entitled request to be a slippery slope.
“I’m honestly curious how the conversation went.”
“Sister: ‘Hey sis, can you let us use your beautiful farmhouse and barn for the wedding? You will? Great! It’ll save us a ton of money! And your property’s just so beautiful. It’s so gracious of you! Thank you for letting us use your home.'”
“‘…Now get to packing all your crap because I don’t want any of my wedding guests to see your tacky house decor. I mean, what’s with all the Disney junk? Ugh! They might associate it with me and my wedding. It’s not a big deal.'”
“‘Just think of it as moving all of your crap out of your home for a week or two so I can have my perfect wedding. I don’t see what the problem is. What do you mean you won’t move all your junk out of your home?!? MOOOM!!!'”
“OP, you’re NTA. The sister however…” – NeedleworkerMuch3061
“Am I the only one who thinks it wouldn’t stop here?”
“‘Be sure to get all the ceramic mugs out of your kitchen. It would be tacky for guests to see anything in there other than wine glasses as they pass by to the bathroom.'”
“‘Blank walls are tacky. Here’s a list of approved landscapes you need to buy to hang up.'”
“‘A bare floor is tacky. When are you getting the carpeting installed?'”
“‘Here’s the chandelier you need to install in the living room.'”
“How does using someone’s property for free create a right to redesign rooms not being used for the event? NTA Your money, your home, your choice.” – JuliaX1984
“The fact that sis went whining to their parents is just the icing on the cake. I would absolutely tell her to figure her own restroom facilities out; don’t want people seeing my Disney decor? You got it; the house is off limits.”
“Such an ungrateful brat; hey, thanks for saving us SO much money, now completely redecorate your house so as not to offend my guests’ delicate sensibilities. (Her sister, probably.) NTA. But sis is a butt.” – Noluckbut4badluck
“I don’t think I would be chill with an entire wedding guest list using my bathroom all day/night. If there’s any alcohol served, that thing is going to get used constantly. Even a small wedding of 50 people would make a huge difference in the water bill, toilet paper, and possibly wear and tear depending on how drunk the guests get.”
“A rented chemical bathroom is the way to go.” – Gloomy-Flamingo-1733
“Tell your sister that after her concerns in regards to HER guests using YOUR bathroom facilities, you agree that it could be an issue, and aren’t sure you want so many people going in and out of your home anyway. She needs to rent her own portable bathrooms.”
“They had the fancy ones at my sister’s wedding, and I was surprised at how nice they were! Such a good option for outdoor wedding venues.” – BergamotDragon
Three Redditors together had a hilarious suggestion for the OP.
“NTA. She is making unreasonable demands on your home. Who cares if you decorated your home with Disney, dinosaurs, or duckies? It’s your home. You’re already doing her a HUGE favor by letting her use the barn and property for free.”
“She’s being a choosing beggar right now. If the Disney decorations are that much of a bother to her, then maybe she should find a new location (though I’m sure she wouldn’t want that because other venues won’t be free or so accommodating to her demands).” – CrimsonKnight_004
“OP, this comment has inspired me. Listen, agree to remove all your (tasteful) Disney decor. Yes, go to all the trouble to pack it up and store it.”
“Then… THEN… REDECORATE WITH DUCKIES AND DINOS… nice, brightly colored, childlike, cartoonish ducks and dinosaurs. Do it. DO IT.”
“Also, NTA.” – ncgrits_01
“OP would be the AH if they don’t follow this suggestion! Acceptable alternatives include clowns or going overboard on the obscure cult anime of your choice.” – ramvan
The subReddit was fully in support of the OP keeping her home intact, even during the wedding. If the sister really wanted to control every element of her upcoming wedding and reception, she needed to commit to a professional venue instead of commandeering her sister’s home.