It is 2025, and some parents still consider conversion therapy an option for gay teens.
This thought process has led to a lot of heartache for a lot of families.
Not all couples see eye to eye on the matter.
A husband found himself in a personal dilemma regarding his wife’s reaction to their son’s sexuality; so he turned to the “Am I The A**Hole” (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Redditor Stunning-Mud9227 asked:
“WIBTA to divorce my wife after she said she wanted to send our son to a conversion camp?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“So, this is a pretty heavy situation, and I’m really confused and disgusted, not gonna lie, cause I never thought my wife was like this.”
“My wife (44 F[emale) and I (45 M[ale]) have been married for 14 years.”
“We have two kids, a 16-year-old son (let’s call him Noah) and a 12-year-old daughter.”
“We’ve had our fair share of disagreements over the years, of course, but things have generally been smooth between us.”
“Now, for the context, Noah came out as gay about a year ago.”
“It was a surprise, and as hard as it was to accept, I love my kids more than anything and just want their happiness.”
“My wife visibly didn’t take it well, though.”
“She was upset and seemed to go through a grieving period where she didn’t really talk about it.”
“I tried to support Noah in every way I could, telling him that I loved him no matter what, etc.”
“My wife, though… I could tell she wasn’t on the same page.”
“She would say things like ‘this is just a phase’ or ‘he needs help,’ but I brushed it off as her needing time.”
“Fast forward to last week, and we were having a conversation about Noah’s future.”
“Out of nowhere, my wife casually mentions that she’s been looking into ‘conversion therapy camps’ and thinks it might be the right solution.”
“She said that Noah isn’t truly gay, that he just ‘hasn’t been shown the right path’ and that this could ‘fix him.’”
“My blood ran cold; obviously, I was in shock.”
“I immediately told her I didn’t agree and that this was not something I could support (duh).”
“She got upset and said I was enabling Noah’s ‘confusion’ and that if I really cared about him, I would help him ‘get better.’”
“WTF is wrong with her?”
“She was persistent, and no matter how much I tried to explain that conversion therapy is harmful (like I know those kids get abused, and often end up either traumatized or harming themselves), and that I would never send our son to something like that, she wouldn’t back down.”
“If I’m being 100% honest, I don’t even think I love her anymore.”
“The fact that she could be so heartless disgusts me.”
“I know being gay is not easy, and people like her just make it even harder.”
“I’m considering staying, only for our daughter’s sake, but would it be ok if it means hurting my son?”
“It feels like a betrayal to Noah.”
“I just don’t think I can keep living with someone who thinks this is okay.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITAH?”
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.
“NTA 100%.”
“Noah is not broken; there is nothing to fix.”
“Those conversion camps are hell on earth, and any parent who wants to send their child to one doesn’t deserve to be a parent.”
“Make sure you include it in the conditions of custody that it is absolutely not permitted – depending on where you are located, it might even be grounds to go for full custody.”
“Buckle up, OP – your fight for your children’s rights and wellbeing is just beginning.” ~ CollywobblesMumma
“I would actually talk to a divorce lawyer and tell them you fear your wife doing this and ask how you can protect your kids.”
“Play nice for now and then drop the hammer.”
“NTA not one bit, you keep protecting your kids.” ~ CuriousPenguinSocks
“Another option… see if Noah can be an exchange student. Seriously.”
“That would get him away in another country for a full school year.”
“Start checking into this for the 2nd semester.”
“Tell your wife it would ‘toughen him up’ to be away from her.”
“She’s a bigot, use that to push buttons and get your son to travel far away.”
“It would keep him safe while you go through the divorce courts.” ~ maroongrad
“This is the way.”
“While he is gone, get your ducks in a row for the divorce.”
“The court (assuming US) will consider his opinion for custody, so by the time it all settles, you will likely have full custody, and he will be nearly 18 anyway.”
“He’s not broken.”
“He doesn’t need fixing.”
“It’s not a phase.”
“What he needs is love and safety.”
“You got this.” ~rothase2
“I agree with this!”
“Also, OP, even if you think that sacrificing Noah and staying for your daughter is an option, you will be damaging her – she will see what happens to him and be in an environment where she thinks that is ok.”
“NTA for now, but huge YTA if you don’t address this.” ~ Living-Ad8963
“You need to divorce her; you need the kids to understand why you are divorcing her.”
“Your daughter, too.”
“She wants to hurt your son.”
“That’s what she wants.”
“And that’s something your kids need to know because it speaks to abusive intent.”
“If she’s ok with abusing your son, she may feel that abusive responses to your daughter’s behavior may be ok too, as your daughter goes through puberty, starts dating, etc.”
“There are times when the reasons for a divorce should not be shared with the kids. But this is not one of them because the reason is a desire on the part of one parent to hurt a child.”
“That parent who is willing to hurt one child cannot be trusted with any child, and the children need to be warned.” ~ Boeing367-80
“Every time I’ve read about conversion camps, I remember Elan School.”
“It’s not the same, but it shows how cruel people can be.”
“The same people who run those camps.”
“OP needs to divorce his wife.”
“She’s willing to have a traumatized child (needless to say, maybe dead) rather than accept him.”
“Disgusting AF. NTA.” ~ Electronic-Drink559
“Conversion therapy camps should be illegal (they are in some states).”
“They are child abuse, 100%.”
“Your wife will destroy your son if you don’t do something.”
“He made the brave decision to come out, and she wants to torture him because she can’t accept it.”
“You would be TA 10000% if you don’t get him away from her.” ~ AdAccomplished6870
“NTA. Send her to science camp.”
“Maybe they can fix her brain.”
“Or try that other famous path.”
“If sexuality is a learned trait, she could prove to your son how it’s possible to change one’s sexuality.”
“She only must become a lesbian.”
“Not forever.”
“Just a few years to prove her stance.” ~yhaensch
“Staying for your daughter’s sake!!!! WTF?!??”
“What about your SON?!?!”
“NTA!!! Divorce her and get full custody immediately!!!”
“Of both kids.”
“Tell the judge you fear crazy pants will turn your daughter against your son and raise her to be a bigot like her.”
“Also, if you get any of her nonsense in writing (get it in text), save it!”
“Don’t tell her you’re going to use it in court.”
“Conversion camps should be illegal.”
“It’s so disgusting.” ~ throwitaway3857
“NTA. Thank you for actually caring about your kids.”
“My honest opinion is to talk to a lawyer immediately.”
“You need to divorce her and go after full custody.”
“She clearly isn’t a good mom, and both of your kids deserve better.”
“Noah especially needs you right now.”
“Speaking from experience, it’s not easy being a teenager and part of the LGBTQ+ community, especially when you know your parents don’t accept you.”
“Keep being the kind and loving parent.”
“Your kids will thank you.” ~ REDDIT
“I want to start a conversion camp where I put every penny I’m given by these parents into a savings account the child inherits when they’re 18 so they can get the f**k out of there.”
“While they’re at camp, they can be free to be whoever the hell they want as long as they aren’t hurting anyone else, so they can make some real-life long friends and feel accepted. NTA.”
“I can’t even begin to imagine doing that to my daughter.”
“I just do not understand how or why it matters.” ~ Flaky_Drag1826
“NTA, and try to get Noah away from her as soon as you can, before she forces him to this conversion camp.”
“Noah needs to know that you will protect him and that you don’t care who he loves, and hopefully, his sister feels the same and will want to protect her brother.”
“I’m so sorry that you, and especially Noah, are in this situation.” ~ Micojageo
“There are a lot of good documentaries out right now on streaming services about the ‘troubled teen’ industry.”
“I would highly recommend she watch those before thinking those camps could ever fix someone.”
“Those kids are tortured for purely existing, you’re NTA for wanting to protect your child.” ~ Majestic_Scarcity540
“You would only be the AH if you stay with someone who could be that hateful towards your child.”
“You clearly love your children.”
“Your number one priority needs to be ensuring she is not successful.”
“Also, make sure you are verbally telling your son you love and support him no matter what.” ~ captaintightpantzz
Reddit is 1000% with you, OP.
Noah needs your help, and you’re giving it to him.
This is a serious situation.
Maybe therapy could be helpful, but a good lawyer could be just as helpful.
You’re doing the right thing.