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Diabetic Woman Considers Evicting Freeloading Sister And Niece After They Eat Her Special Food

A woman eats a sandwich
Lumina Images/Getty Images

Everyone wants to help family members when they can.

But that doesn’t mean you need to give into what may be a toxic relationship.

Family can be a burden.

But at what cost?

Case in point…

Redditor CouldUPassDaCHZ to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for wanting to kick my sibling out over a turkey sandwich?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“So it isn’t just about a turkey sandwich.”

“Me, F[emale] 35, have been busting my butt to get where I am.”

“Call me the Pig with the Brickhouse.”

“My sibling, Grace (31) recently got out of a very committed relationship (not her first – Has a tendency to fall easily).”

“Growing up, she and our two brothers could do no wrong.”

“I was expected to pull more than my fair share. Always.”

“I graduated a year early from High School, took that scholarship to a University, and managed to get fixed with a pretty sweet online job.”

“The others didn’t do higher education and get family handouts regularly.”

“As for Grace, she fell for the boy next door – and then another – and then another.”

“I understand looking for love, but she goes all in and digs a hole.”

“I’ve always been there to help her, but now things are extreme.”

“She moved in with me, trashed my house (I’ve never had roaches before – found one and started crying).”

“She doesn’t help with cooking, and has me paying several bills for her. ‘I’ll pay you back.’”

“I took on a bunch of extra hours to offset her living with me, and I can’t even ask her to stir a pot of soup.”

“Which I finished prepping. I just needed her to mix so that I could finish up with some work emails.”

“The worst concerns food.”

“I am a diabetic and have to choose my food very carefully.”

“Grace will eat through her junk food and then go for my things.”

“I can barely keep anything in this house for long.”

“I had a stash of sugar-free soda that would normally last me two weeks.”

“It was gone in two days, and she tried to blame it on her child (7) who also lives here.”

“That child has pretty great manners.”

“They would have asked me before getting into my soda.”

“Grace uses her child because she knows my parents will always have her back, particularly when it comes to their grandchild.”

“And no, they won’t let Grace move in with them.”

“They expect me to make things work here.

“It’s been a long day, 12+ Shift – Computer work, but I’m still so darn tired!”

“My living room is trashed, no dinner set up for me to cook, and she is expecting a medal for doing a load of dishes.”

“She wouldn’t even pick up my medication for me today.”

“Dying for a turkey sandwich (have a special bread), I approached the fridge to find no turkey.”

“It had been a huge family pack, and we had bought it less than a week ago.”

“Child has been away visiting relatives this week.”

“Now I just want Grace out.”

“My parents keep saying to give her time to get over the breakup and that I need to be more flexible.”

“I realize I can be a bit anal.”

“I’m your typical cat lady (Yes, at my age).”

“Just want to snuggle my felines and read, not listen to Grace’s drama shows on full blast.”

“I want to shuffle through my house in pajamas and not trip over her stuff.”

“I want… I want… I want… (Anyone hearing Veruca Salt’s voice can call me out. – Slightly cringing at myself too.)”

“Maybe I am a bit much.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA – but you are one to yourself.”

“Why do you listen to your parents?”

‘You’re 35, and it seems obvious you are being used.”

‘Your sister lies, doesn’t help, doesn’t respect your house.”

“If you want to try again, then put clear rules about tidying after herself, food, and help, and if she doesn’t follow them, then she’s out.”

“But really, as you described her, I don’t imagine it would work.”  ~ Timely_Proposal_1821

“OP’s parents already know Grace is a piece of work (that they created), are tired of dealing with her, and have foisted her off on the family scapegoat.”

“OP, you need to kick her out ASAP, if local tenancy laws allow, and change the locks.”  ~ Rodney_Copperbottom

“I want… a spine maybe?”

“I know that sounds harsh, but at the end of the day people are only doing what they’re being allowed to get away with.”

“It’s difficult when there’s a child in the mix but when they’re less hassle than the adult you know you’ve got issues.”

“Get Grace financial management sessions or a visit with a therapist.”

‘She’s a grown adult with responsibilities.”

“Stop enabling her. You’ve earned snuggly feline pajama time.”  ~ CymruB

“NTA. OP, tell your sister she has to move out.”

“You love her, but you need your space back.”

“If she wants to live with your parents, she can.”

‘If they want to pay for her to live somewhere else, they can.”

“But, get her out.”

“Trust me. You’re going to be the ‘bad guy’ if you ask her to move out now or five years from now.”

“You might as well protect your sanity and get her out now.”

“Be prepared for her to send her flying monkeys to bother you, but do your best to ignore them all.”  ~ crystallz2000

“Why would she if she’s living rent-free at your place eating all your food and having bills paid for her.”

“NTA. I don’t know what it might do to your relationship with your parents, but you need to kick Grace out.”

“You know her child will be okay cos your parents can take her in.”

“Grace can learn to stand on her own two feet.”

“Also, your parents won’t take her in because they don’t want to deal with the awful situation you are dealing with.”

“They raised her. Their problem. Not yours.”

“You’ve done more than enough.”

“It’s okay to want. Your feelings are valid.”  ~ RMaua

“NTA. You might want to consider what, if anything, you get from your parents and make a choice as to whether or not it’s worth putting up with her to maintain your relationship with them for whatever benefit you get from that.”

“But more generally she’s a bad housemate, she’s an adult, and it’s your house.”

“The rules are the rules, boot her to the curb, who cares what your parents want you to do?”

“It’s your house, not theirs.”  ~ Puzzled_Cheetah8390

“Grace is a freeloader.”

“You haven’t gone into specifics, but something tells me she’s been living with you for longer than a few months and hasn’t ‘been able’ to find a job.”

“Grace has been taking advantage of your hospitality.”

“Have you put your foot down and told her she needs to tidy up all the time and she needs to stop eating your food?”

“However, ESH because you’ve been enabling it.”

“It’s one thing to help somebody out every once in a while, but you’re allowing her to be dependent on you.”

“Stop paying Grace’s bills immediately and tell her she needs to find a new place to live, now.”

“Tell your parents Grace can move in with them when they argue with you.”

“It’s time for you to be happy in your house.”  ~ gover2087

“NTA, but you will be if you and your family continue to enable her.”

“I have an older sister who fits your sister’s description to a T.”

“At one point, I finally just had to watch her be homeless for a while and her kid’s father finally picked up the slack.”

“Then one fine day, what do you think happened?”

“She found a subsidized apartment.”

“On her own. A job, too.”

“Sometimes, you have to let people fear drowning.”

“At the end of the day, it’s either sink or swim.”

“Only they can determine their outcomes.” ~ ManufacturerAfraid93

“NTA, Ross. Just kidding.”

“Yeah she is a nightmare, and this is just the state that broke the camel’s back.”

“She’s a selfish, unhygienic, immature, lazy, pathetic glutton and a sh*t mother.”

“She’s this way in part because she’s been enabled to do so.”

“Very few adults are incredibly privileged enough to simply not work, get fed, and have all of their bills paid.”

“You’d only be the AH if you don’t throw her out.” ~ paul_rudds_drag_race

“NTA. Don’t let her treat your kindness as a weakness.”

“This should probably have been resolved immediately when the first issue arose.”

“But I think she has had MORE than enough chances to stop freeloading and help out.” ~ Affectionate-Fill702

“NTA. Pack her and the kid’s gear.”

“Take it to your parent’s house and leave it at the front door and let them deal with her.”

“You aren’t her responsibility.”

“Ignore your parents.”  ~ Strong_Storm_2167

“NTA. Girl, these people have convinced you that Grace is YOUR responsibility (at 31 yrs old).”

“Your parents want to give her flexibility then she can move in with them along with her child.”

“She’s not your problem!”

“Kick her to the curb!” ~ SnooSketches4973

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

Your house, your sanctuary, your rules.

It sounds like there is a lot to unpack in the family department.

Good luck.