In 2024 and 2025, the job market has been tougher to navigate than ever, and it’s more important than ever before to maintain jobs and to lock-in promotions and pay raises whenever possible.
But these promotions shouldn’t come at the expense of someone else’s job or one’s own integrity, pointed out the users of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Due-Introduction-900 was up for a promotion at work alongside a well-liked coworker, and he became concerned when some of his work seemed to be disappearing off his desk on a recurring basis.
When he set up a camera on his desk and discovered his competitive coworker was stealing documents from him to try to lock in his own promotion, the Original Poster (OP) was surprised when the office sided against him “invading his coworker’s privacy” rather than his coworker stealing from him.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for secretly recording my coworker sabotaging me and now everyone is mad at me for exposing him?”
The OP was working hard to lock in a promotion at work.
“I work in a small office where most people are fine except for this one guy, Brad. Brad is THAT coworker. He is always loud, always knows better, and loves throwing others under the bus to make himself look good.”
“We are both up for the same promotion, which would be fine, except he has been getting shady about it.”
“For weeks, I have been noticing that things on my desk going missing, including important files, client notes, and even random office supplies.”
“At first, I thought I was just being forgetful, but then another coworker casually mentioned that Brad has been hanging around my desk when I am not there.”
“Then, last week, I overheard him joking in the break room about ‘creating opportunities’ for himself.”
The OP decided to try to get evidence of his suspicions.
“That was the final straw. I decided I needed to know for sure. I set up my phone to record while I went to lunch.”
“When I reviewed the footage, there was Brad, digging through my desk, taking one of my files, and snapping pictures of it with his phone.”
“I did confront him directly. I showed him the video and then tried to see what he had to say.”
“He basically incriminated himself and talked about how he did not like me.”
“I gladly recorded all of this, and then I sent the footage to Human Resources (HR), thinking they would deal with it quietly.”
What Brad did got around the office, but the OP was the one to pay the price.
“HR did handle it, but now everyone in the office knows, and somehow I am the one people are mad at.”
“Some of my coworkers are saying I invaded Brad’s privacy and should have talked to him instead of going to HR.”
“Brad got written up, lost any chance of the promotion, and had to apologize to me.”
“But now he is playing the victim, telling everyone I ‘set him up’ and saying that recording him was underhanded.”
“Some people are even siding with him, claiming I made the office environment toxic by exposing him.”
The OP felt conflicted about how all of this developed.
“I just do not get it. Brad was sabotaging me and risking my career, and I gave HR the proof they needed to stop him. I did not set him up. I caught him doing something he should not have been doing in the first place.”
“Am I seriously in the wrong here? All I wanted was to stop someone from screwing me over.”
“It feels like people are mad at me just because I handled the situation instead of letting him get away with it. What else was I supposed to do?”
“I need some fresh perspective because this whole situation has spiraled out of control, and somehow I am the bad guy.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that only did what he needed to do to secure his work.
“NTA. You did the absolute right thing.” – SkinnyPig45
“A hostile work environment is a legal term because it’s something that can be defined and prosecuted. Knowing that HR already had to issue this person the correction, they probably do not want the smoke of a court case OP has a chance of winning (and would be extremely expensive even if they didn’t).”
“He got disciplined for some extremely f*cked up sh*t, and now he’s trying to make your work environment hell. If HR lets him do this, they’re on the hook, provided OP keeps meticulous notes and reports it. It will look like retaliation.” – BojackTrashMan
“OP, you need to stick with C.Y.A. Cover your own a**. Don’t let Brad get to HR and try to twist the narrative. Every time he pulls some s**t, go to HR immediately.”
“If anyone else in the office does anything even remotely ‘retaliating’ in nature because they’ve sided with Brad, also inform HR about them too. This needs to be shut down. It’s wild that a group of adults are acting like middle schoolers.”
“My guess is Brad was well-liked and chummy with a lot of the office, so they’re of the mindset that ‘Brad could never do that! He’s so nice!’ Given his willingness to throw you under the bus for his benefit, I’m betting that he’s been schmoozing with your coworkers for the same reason.”
“Regardless, their actions, and his, cannot continue. You have done nothing but provide facts. It’s not your fault that the facts incriminate him. Stick with facts. H**l, keep a log book of every time (date/time) someone says something out of pocket about this to you, and report them, especially if HR makes an announcement to everyone, and they all keep it up.”
“You are not crazy. You are (as it would seem) the only person not blinded by Brad’s fake-as-h**l act he’s been putting on. Don’t let them get to you. Good luck with the promotion!” – CatmoCatmo
“I would say the arguments are, ‘You should be concentrating on your own work and see to it that Brad doesn’t turn on you next. This was between me and Brad. He chose to act poorly in a way that you yourself wouldn’t have appreciated if it had happened to you.'”
“‘Now tell him to stop distracting you and everyone else by boohooing all over the office about the consequences of his own screw-up.'” – Floomby
“Work is the PERFECT place to be petty, backstabby, and an awful human being! You know how often that’s rewarded?! Brad’s mistake here was getting caught and then admitting to it. Didn’t he listen to that song from the early 2000s, ‘It Wasn’t Me’?!”
“I mean, there is no other place I can think of where instead of doing something productive, you can enjoy spending the day setting up other people and playing politics and get further in your career and better pay…”
“The concept of ‘Business is business’ is an offense to those of us who have spent a lifetime playing business properly…”
“Sincerely, your CEO.”
“(In case it wasn’t obvious… I’m being sarcastic, and I’m no one’s CEO.)”
“Unfortunately, you have to expect people will always be like this and become underhanded when money is involved. Your work is your income, so they’ll play the games they know that work for them.”
“In every workplace, and in every field, there are two choices when it comes to your career.”
“1. Be an effective employee with good communication and a good relationship with leadership to help you get ahead.”
“2. Fall back to being dishonest and underhanded in an attempt to gaslight and bully your way to the top.”
“Some people really suck at the first one… so they have no other choice but to go to the second option, and you can’t expect the number-two workers to just not want more money, influence, and power just because they suck at the job and are a piece of s**t (being number-two and all), that’s just not how human nature works.”
“And unfortunately, if you go with option one, there are going to be people who choose option two who will try to make you look bad as much as possible because by being good, YOU are making THEM look bad.”
“Thanks for listening to my TED talk.” – No-Helicopter1111
Others encouraged the OP to further report Brad for causing a toxic work environment.
“NTA. Now, you need to go back to Human Resources (HR) and let them know that Brad is creating a toxic work environment by spreading a false narrative in retaliation.” – MossMyHeart
“You have to go talk to Human Resources again about what Brad is doing now. Make him go cry in his cereal milk at home and not on company time.”
“It sucks that people treat work like high school petty bulls**t, but that’s why you have to be unflinchingly ruthless about keeping your foot up their a**es until they understand the plot.”
“Easy peasy NTA.” – bogbotpog
“Work isn’t the place for petty drama, and people need to understand that. Keeping things professional ensures a smoother workflow, and sometimes being firm is the best way to handle things.”
“If they can’t take it, they should handle their emotions outside the office. As it’s said, ‘Business is business.’ There’s no room for childish behaviors when it comes to getting things done.”
“NTA.” – itscutedreamhihi
“Brad is toxic as h**l and does not need to be in your workspace.”
“Your arguments to your coworkers should be only this: He invaded your professional privacy by stealing documents from you.”
“You did confront him, and all he had to say was that he didn’t like you, hence going to HR as he was unwilling to work things out.”
“The coworkers who side with him are mor*ns.” – False_Snow7754
“Frame it to make this as clear of a choice for HR as possible: he did not just steal documents from you, he BREACHED client CONFIDENTIALITY by stealing COMPANY documents that were not in his purview, for personal gain.”
“You even have him on video making illicit copies of company files on his personal devices, AND he’s talking about how that is ‘opening opportunities for himself.'”
“HR is there to protect the company, so the emphasis goes on how his actions threaten to harm the company.” – Sprectre-907
It was perfectly clear to the subReddit that the OP only did what he needed to do to protect his progress at work and hopefully encourage his promotional status.
However, it was unfortunately through means we’d rather not stoop to using.
It seemed that Brad had won most of the office over on a social level, and it would likely take time and further conversations with Human Resources before they came around to the fact that Brad had messed up.